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 Post subject: Need to change schools
PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2014 3:57 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 21, 2006 10:43 am
Posts: 118
Hi

My son has Aspergers and is coping well academically in a Grammar school. However he is struggling very badly with the social side. The school aren't very supportive and I wondered if anyone knows of any good schools with provision for Aspergers children.

Thank you


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PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2014 4:20 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:59 pm
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Are you restricted to a particular area and, if so, where?


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PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2014 5:46 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2005 12:49 pm
Posts: 1647
Location: berkshire
As you child is achieving well academically are you sure that changing schools is the only choice? Have you exhausted all 'support' at the school. I would doubt they would like to think that they are failing to support a pupil.

Children with Aspergers do struggle with the social aspect of school and this is particularly apparent in the teenage years. I do sympathise as my child (now 18) went through the same experience. He lacked the understanding of social nuances and this made him 'different' and not part of a 'gang'. With the help of the SEN co-ordinator we put in place some coping strategies that allowed him to remove himself from situations when he was not comfortable.

This 'difference' will still be there.. even when deciding on a school move. In my personal opinion it will diminish as your child, and their peers, get older.... 6th form and university has been so much better but not without its hiccups.


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PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 5:09 pm 
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I do think the school's SENCO ought to be able to help. Grammar schools by their nature are populated with children with all sorts of different needs that go hand in hand with high intelligence. I also agree with chad that things improve with age; but I think this applies to all boys, not just those with Aspergers! I bet there are plenty of others who don't fit in with everyone else. We've certainly found my supposedly normal spectrum son has relaxed and settled into friendships in year 10, whereas, although generally happy, he never fitted into any "gang" in earlier years.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:24 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 21, 2006 10:43 am
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Thanks for your responses but things have gone from bad to untenable.

My son unfortunately has told everyone he has Aspergers and also that he is bisexual which hasn't gone down well in a all boys school. He has had terrible abusive texts on his phone including one where a boy suggests knifing him.

The school have had little sympathy and in fact don't seem to understand autism. He has had counselling once a week but this has been from an untrained counsellor although they have a trained one.

One of the boys told my son that his life is messed up and to start self harming. Another boy told him to go on the train tracks which he has done. My son reported bullying to the school that was happening on the school grounds. They said they didn't believe it and there were no independent witnesses.

Now he is feeling a huge sense of injustice and and most recently he sent a letter to one of the parents telling them that he has been physically assaulted by their son and that he will go to the police and will commit suicide unless something is done.

We have withdrawn him from school currently.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:34 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:45 pm
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Oh, you poor thing, and your poor son. My heart aches for you - having had a child who has struggled at school (for different reasons), I know how heartbreaking and utterly consuming it is. Even if you do decide to withdraw your son permanently, you really need to maike the school thoroughly aware of why. If you feel able, you need to tell us where you are, people may be able to recommend schools. Are there other grammars locally that he could transfer to? Sending you and your family my very best wishes.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 9:35 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 3:38 pm
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Location: Maidstone
Perhaps not what you are looking for but if you have already withdrawn him from school have you thought about home schooling perhaps as a stop gap measure whilst you look for another school? If the bullying has affected him badly that could also give him a little break from the issues he has been dealing with.

_________________
Impossible is Nothing.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 9:54 am 
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Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:59 am
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Clare, I have pm'd you I am so sorry you and your son are in this horrible situation.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:31 am 
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Joined: Sat Dec 28, 2013 3:52 pm
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OP, First of all I am really sorry for you and your son.Some schools do have problems and they deny it.
As for evidence, is it possible to show all the abusive text messages to the school ? Will they believe it ?
Even if they believe, is it a good environment for your child to be in ? At this stage it may not have affected his academics but is likely to have an impact down the line.
Do you think a co-ed school, DCs from diverse social background, strong community feel, small town/village kind of environment suit him better ?


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:46 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 21, 2006 10:43 am
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Starting to think a co- Ed school a better option. We can't go on like this. Yes they have seen some cyber bullying messages. One boy said it was not him and that he was on a sleepover and someone got hold of his phone. They accepted that.

We are in South Bucks.

Thanks for support.

Clare


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