DD has self-diagnosed Aspergers

[Amber]

Thank you all so much for your replies. To be fair, my daughter has pushed this by labelling herself,.

Tell her to label herself 'gifted and talented' instead.

Seriously, I don't think a school should run with this from such a young person - she is not able to decide from reading a book that she has Aspergers. Heavens, I think many of us could find traits in ourselves if we looked hard enough. Do you know anyone who 'appears to lack empathy', 'talks a lot, especially about favourite subjects', 'dislikes changes to routines' or even 'has poor handwriting'?
All of these are on a common checklist for Aspergers.

[hermanmunster]

Thank you all so much for your replies. To be fair, my daughter has pushed this by labelling herself,.

Tell her to label herself 'gifted and talented' instead.

Seriously, I don't think a school should run with this from such a young person - she is not able to decide from reading a book that she has Aspergers. Heavens, I think many of us could find traits in ourselves if we looked hard enough. Do you know anyone who 'appears to lack empathy', 'talks a lot, especially about favourite subjects', 'dislikes changes to routines' or even 'has poor handwriting'?
All of these are on a common checklist for Aspergers.

Quite right!!!

Lots of people have traits which could easily be identified as belonging to any number of conditions - many become more pronounced under stress and some are even coping mechanisms. (except my unreadable writing which is just permanently awful )

[Sally-Anne]

To be fair, my daughter has pushed this by labelling herself

I think there is some psychology going on here that the school should be addressing (and talking to you about.)

Your daughter appears to want to label herself as "different" as some sort of coping mechanism. Rather than aiding and abetting her in that, the school should be offering pastoral support and possibly counselling to understand why she feels the need to do that.

I don't mean to worry you by saying that, but young people do find odd ways of handling their emotions, and retreating into a fantasy of having some sort of affliction which "explains" such things as lack of confidence, lack of popularity, or whatever, isn't good. It simply masks the underlying problem, rather than solving it.

That could be well worth exploring with the SENCo when you meet.

(X-post with hermie - interesting that we've both used the phrase "coping mechanism".)

[Sally-Anne]

(except my unreadable writing which is just permanently awful )

I thought it was compulsory for the profession?

[neveragain*]

As someone who works in child mental health I am appalled!
We are VERY slow to diagnose in the service I work in ourselves, and I'm shocked and angered by this!

[hermanmunster]

(except my unreadable writing which is just permanently awful )

I thought it was compulsory for the profession?

S-A ... it is compulsory, forget UKCAT etc - just get them to handwrite something.

neveragain* - I agree - should be a considered diagnosis, and surely signs and symptoms should persist for a period of time?

[Tolstoy]

As someone who works in child mental health I am appalled!
We are VERY slow to diagnose in the service I work in ourselves, and I'm shocked and angered by this!

Very true. My eldest went through the process and it took many months with assessments by at least three professionals in their field, the last who made the final diagnosis a psychiatrist specialising in teenagers. He is not deemed Asperger's because as many, including you, have pointed out children/adults may have some of the traits but not all. He lacked just one of them and therefore did not fit the criteria. Both his counsellor and the speech therapist felt he was but no, that is how precise the diagnosis has to be. He did however read up on it when it was mentioned to him like you DD and then start exaggerating those parts of his personality that fitted the traits and using the proposed diagnosis as an excuse for certain behavioural problems we were having.

I agree with Neveragain, this angers me on many levels both in regards to your own DC whether she has it or not and for those who do have Asperger's.

[doodles]

Have nothing "professional" to add but this thread has made me sad and angry all at once. I do hope that you get a sensible answer from the school.

I hate the label "different" it has such negative connotations; I prefer "interesting" or "quirky" and in fact it is friends with these traits who are the best company. Impress upon your daughter she is bright and intelligent and interesting and if she doesn't follow the crowd but finds her own groove so much the better.

Good luck.

[Moon unit]

I think you would be justified in going straight to the head about this.
I work in the field and as others have said it usually takes several months if not a year plus to make the diagnosis which follows gathering information from multiple assessments of a child. It would never be made in this way.
This type of labelling is dangerous and potentially damaging.Not contacting you is outrageous.
It seems to me nowadays people try and label children when they are only slightly different to their peers at a drop of a hat.
I really hope you have the energy you need next week to deal with this,both with the school and your dd.
This is the equivalent of seeing a lump on someone's neck and telling them they have cancer without carrying out any tests. A doctor would be struck off for doing that.

[Sally-Anne]

jmc, just clutching at straws here: the phrase "I have Aspergers" isn't in your daughter's handwriting, is it?

I ask because if it is, the measures put in place for the classroom might be entirely reasonable, and she could have gilded the lily by attributing her shyness to Aspergers without the staff member's knowledge.