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 Post subject: Laid back boys?
PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 4:41 pm 
Does anyone have the same scenario?

My 10 year old son takes his 11+ in 2 weeks and is so casual in his approach it isn't true. He is in the top sets in his class but has to be reminded constantly to do homework, read, practise etc! He has a lovely temperament and when I ask him, he assures me that he wants to pass and he feels confident that he will! I have tried to suggest that he will have to do something on his part and I am starting to sound like a real old nag.

His older sister was very focused and self motivated at this stage so I am starting to panic. Is this a 'boy thing' or am I being sexist? :?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 6:58 pm 
Hi

Believe me, it is a boy thing. My son was constantly nagged to revise/practice and he couldnt wait for the tests to be over. Like yours, he is not very motivated and always needs prompting to do his homework.

He is very bright and very enthusiastic at passing the tests, but lets himself down when it comes to work.

Goodluck


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 9:04 pm 
Thanks very much. It does help to realise that there are others like him.

8)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 10:57 pm 
Oh tell me about it!! My son was the same when he did his 11+ tests and now he's in school he's continuing on the same path. Does just enough to keep in the top half of the class but no more. I find it v. frustrating but my husband, who's a teacher, thinks that in the end, when it comes to pressures at GCSE etc, his laid back attitude will be an asset. Hope he's right....


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 1:40 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 10:05 am
Posts: 445
Location: LONDON
SNAP! I have one of those and I also feel like a nag. I also have another son who is very focussed and motivated and a daughter who works her socks off. I suspect it is a bit of a boy thing. I have plenty of friends with boys whose take on life is exactly the same and they are equally frustrated. Very much a case of just enough effort to succeed. Are they likely to change - unlikely unless that change comes from within (rather than from us nagging). If he is doing enough to succeed then I wouldn't get too wound up. If he is not doing enough then you may just be nagging for another 2 weeks!


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 4:31 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2006 10:14 am
Posts: 171
Location: Lincolnshire
Ditto and I too get frustrated as I know that he could do so well with a little more effort, but he is always in the top group, but just does enough, wont actually put himself out.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 12:53 pm 
Double Snap With Extra Double Ditto!

Interesting comment made by the guest teacher's husband (above) who thinks a laid back attitude will be an asset when it comes to GCSE etc. I sure hope so! ps. my son did pass his 11+ and got an offer from an independent school.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 8:02 pm 
I'll just add my ditto to that, too. It's a boy thing. My son also sits his 11+ in two weeks and feels fairly confident. He's working well, but needs a bit of encouragement nonetheless. It's a bit unnerving to watch at times, but I just hope for the best.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:17 pm 
It's no bad thing. My eldest are at university now. They did enough to get the grades they needed but never attempted to shine. They are still taking it in their stride. Those who lead the class are under pressure to keep their grades up as they have always done. When the boat is pushed out at that level they have nowhere else to go when the work load increases. Sadly, my sons friend has just dropped out of university after 1 term, unable to cope with the work or self imposed pressure. He was head boy and shone throughout school. A lovely bloke too. Be happy when they are pacing themselves with comfortable strides. It's a good thing. It matters not a jot where you are in your class at the end of the day. A sharp mind has a way of showing itself. My daughter is at Cambridge and was told by school not to apply and if she did, not to the college she wanted as some of their finest students had not been accepted there. My response was if she wants it, give it a go, if she is not right for them, they will know and it's no big deal getting rejected. As it was, she was accepted by that college and a couple of their 'high flyers' were not. And she is still comfortable and still not sweating it.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 11:06 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 14, 2006 7:32 pm
Posts: 410
Dear guest

It so good to read your posting. My son has only just gone into secondary school and he is very laid back about the whole affair. Even though we moved so he is isnt with any of his primary friends he has just taken it in his stride. Sometimes I feel he needs pushing as I am sure he could do even better then he does if he really 'went for it' but there again as you say maybe it's better not to put the pressure on. He is afterall doing well so far. I guess as parents we all can be forgiven sometimes for worrying far more then we need to.

Mel


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