rewards for taking/passing 11+?
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hermanmunster
- Posts: 12901
- Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:51 am
- Location: The Seaside
I think it is fine to give things to kids if you want - call it bribery if you like, but tell the kids it IS bribery and what your motives are in doing this. It is a very good lesson for them.. they start to spot other people and their "incentives".
Good luck with the results and good luck at whichever school your child goes to.!
Good luck with the results and good luck at whichever school your child goes to.!
rewards for tests/practice
I am genuinely shocked at the levels of angst about which present to buy a child sitting an exam... how has it come to this and where does it end??? I think it's indicative of parents overbearing involvement/pressure in whole 11+ thing. Why should a material reward be given for sitting an exam to get into a school? It seems a continuum of reward charts, star charts, presents and praise for every aspect of a child's normal development. I'm sorry, but where does it end? present for getting up and going to school? a bigger one for test week, a bigger one for 11+, and cannot imagine what happens with GCSE's!
are we not in danger of breeding expectation of material reward into every aspect of life? We have never done any of these things with our five children, just tried to instil ordinary values of effort equals results equals work options. It seems to work!
are we not in danger of breeding expectation of material reward into every aspect of life? We have never done any of these things with our five children, just tried to instil ordinary values of effort equals results equals work options. It seems to work!
It doesn't end and why should it. I know how good I feel when I am praised and rewarded by my boss. There is nothing wrong when you praise and reward someone for their hard work and effort. Sometimes it is nice to know that you are appreciated and more importantly you are doing a good job. Rewards and unexpected bonuses motivate you to try even harder.
It is when they expect to have a reward/praise for every little things you do that is when you need to have a rethink. You have to ask yourself are they doing it for the reward or the end result. As long as they understand that achieving the results they want is the best reward. I know how good my DS felt when he realised that he had passed his exams. The hard work and all the practise papers he did over the summer holidays were worth it.
Yes I did get him a present but it was because I was proud of him regardless of whether he passed or failed.
It is when they expect to have a reward/praise for every little things you do that is when you need to have a rethink. You have to ask yourself are they doing it for the reward or the end result. As long as they understand that achieving the results they want is the best reward. I know how good my DS felt when he realised that he had passed his exams. The hard work and all the practise papers he did over the summer holidays were worth it.
Yes I did get him a present but it was because I was proud of him regardless of whether he passed or failed.
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rubyhettybetty
- Posts: 344
- Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 2:26 pm
- Location: Rochester
I feel a bit embarassed posting this now :-] I am deffo not of the type to buy rewards for good reports/ parents evenings etc - I expect good behaviour & effort...but I do have (what now looks like) a bit of an OTT plan :-] I am hiring a camper van (DD obsessed with camper vans!) to collect her from the exam centre and then we'll head off for a couple of nights (take one day off school) to chill out & have some fun...as a reward for the effort, whether or not she passes....
and what a super way to end what is a very stressful and demanding time - nicely thought of you - you dd''s going to be thrilled 
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rubyhettybetty
- Posts: 344
- Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 2:26 pm
- Location: Rochester
Aw, thanks 
of course, it will be a surprise - and the van is actually 'called' DD's name as well can't wait. Bless her - she is a hard worker, and will have an intensive revision course at the end of the summer hols, so a bit of kick back time will be nice....
I prefer to 'do' things than buy stuff tbh!
of course, it will be a surprise - and the van is actually 'called' DD's name as well can't wait. Bless her - she is a hard worker, and will have an intensive revision course at the end of the summer hols, so a bit of kick back time will be nice....I prefer to 'do' things than buy stuff tbh!
