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 Post subject: Results
PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 6:35 pm 
Hi all,

I'm writing new. Hopes it's good.

I live in Hounslow.

My child wants to go to Langley Grammar.

She has given the exam and Bucks Exam. Tomorrow I think Bucks Exam Results are coming. We're scared. I would like lots and lots of tips on handling results.

Thankyou
Meera


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 10:06 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:10 pm
Posts: 1068
Location: Lincolnshire
Hi Meera,

I do hope the news is good for you. We were very lucky because our son passed his 11 plus this year so we did not have to handle sharing disappointing news. However, we had already told him that there was a reward for him on results day for all his hard work and effort whatever the outcome. When our children have successes such as passing a music exam we tend to have some sort of treat as a family such as a big gooey cake, a trip to the pizza restaurant or the cinema so that we all "celebrate" together. If anyone has tried hard for something and not managed it then we all "commiserate" with a similar treat! We have 4 children all with different abilities and talents so we have always tended to say that any reward or treat was for the effort and commitment involved and that success was its own reward - otherwise it seems unfair that one who is extra-bright or talented would get a reward for simply doing what comes naturally and another might have to work hard for weeks on end to achieve the same result.

As long as your child knows they are loved and valued for themselves they will come through both success and "failure" with their sense of self worth and esteem intact, able to laugh or to cry and then to move on to life's next challenge.

Good Luck!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 10:41 pm 
how have you managed to get your results so quick?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 8:46 am 
One child I used to take on the school run, was collected from school by her Grandmother on the day her school offer came. Her mother had said not to open envelope until she (the mother) got home. However, it was obvious from the logo on the envelope that the offer came from the Comp. not the Grammar school. The girl tried to contact her mother by mobile, but mobile was switched off, out of credits, or whatever. The poor girl became distraught, and Granny couldn't understand what the problem was (after all the Comp. has a very good reputation). The girl ended up phoning me because she needed someone to talk to. At that point, as far as she was concerned, she thought that she was going to be the only one of her group of friends not going to a Grammar School. Of course, this was not the case, and she settled down with a number of her friends at the Comp. However, it was a very distressing moment for her.

What I am trying to say is; try to make sure that you pick your child up from school on the day the offers are due. Then you can face any bad news together.


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 Post subject: results
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 1:40 pm 
Dear Meera

The most important thing to do is NOT to use the word fail.
Whatever the outcome I believe the child should be praised and rewarded. When our son done it last year my husband and I bought him a small gift and actually gave it to him before he opened the letter. We told him it was for all his hard work. I had also made my son a Certificate of Excellence for all the hard work he put in. I gave this before but you could still do this for when your child gets home and again give it first. I just did mine on the PC, nothing flash but my son loved it.

Just be prepared for a big hug what ever that letter says. I let my son open it as he wanted to. This isn't a bad idea as then they don't haveto see your face if it isnt the right result!

Remember if it isn't the result you want then you will ofcourse be upset and possibly want to cry but first give your son a big hug and save your tears for later. Your son may cry and thats ok too tell him you understand and then have a cry together, nothing wrong with that.

Don't tell him "it doesn't matter" as I think that undermines all the work they done to try. Instead tell him that it is not the end of the world and make sure he knows it is NOT his fault and that you are so proud for his wanting to try.

Finally don't answer the phone unitl you know you can handle it and also when he passes(I'm being positive for you) dont let him or you call round to friends as they may not be so happy.

Very best of luck to him and you

Melx


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 9:02 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2006 10:31 pm
Posts: 119
That was really good advice MelX, thanks for sharing.

JuliaB


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 10:04 pm 
Dear Julia

We know how you're feeling as we had exactly the same outcome last year. 116 and we didn't go to appeal, partly because we didn't want to overemphasize the importance of going to grammar.

I think Mel's advice is very good. We didn't tell our daughter it 'didn't matter' but we did tell her 'it's alright' and 'don't worry' and gave her a present (book token). It seemed amazing to us at the time, but she did ask 'are you angry?', so this shows how children can get anxious about the wrong things sometimes.

When she saw that many of her friends were in the same boat, she soon forgot about it and is now thriving at a good comp. Just had her first review and been told that she's "at or very near the top of the year", so this made her extremely happy.

Win some, lose some!

Jed


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 10:44 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:10 pm
Posts: 8206
Location: Buckinghamshire
Hi Jed

Lovely to have you back!

So very glad that your daughter is doing well at comp. Stick around and give your best advidce from experience to this year's crop - neither of us succeeded in an appeal, but we have a great deal to offer from that position!

Best wishes
Sally-Anne


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 7:13 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 3:47 pm
Posts: 1348
Location: Berks,Bucks
Hi Jed,

Glad to see that your daughter is doing so well. :D

Best wishes

Catherine


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 8:08 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2006 10:31 pm
Posts: 119
Hi Jed

That's encouraging to hear. My son has been boosted to hear that not many children passed from his school, and although I am considering an appeal, I am thinking of a Plan B, Plan C and a Plan D. I know that it's a case of working out what is best for your child, however with a large family I can see that I will end up with each child at a different secondary school!

JuliaB


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