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 Post subject: Confidence or Tutoring
PostPosted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 10:39 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2009 6:45 pm
Posts: 54
Location: Gloucestershire
Can anyone help?

Having navigated DD1 to grammar this September, I've started worrying about how to persuade DD2 (only in Yr 3!) that she needs to put some effort in.

She is, at a guess, about average in what I think is quite a "high flying" small class. At school she is quiet and well behaved (though not at home), and is often left with her hand up for a long time unnoticed.

It seems she's not getting enough of a push, though she is very happy with laid-back teacher. She has a problem retaining words to spell them in her essays .

With DD1 I could easily work with her myself when needed, including VR near to the exam. DD2 will not do any extra work with me, so I'm thinking of hiring a tutor short term, as a confidence boost (though I can't imagine how I'll persuade her physically to go).

Can anyone PM me with some local (female) tutor ideas (not VR at this stage)?
Confidence boosting and vocab work (she misses out middle sounds).
Ideally in Cheltenham area, or surroundings.
Any other ideas on how to persuade her to work with me would be great!

She reads and is read to a lot at home.

Thanks.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 7:18 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:59 am
Posts: 5922

Quote:
She has a problem retaining words to spell them in her essays .



Essays? Goodness, she can only be 8 at most! If she is writing essays already then you are home and dry for grammar school.

Seriously, children rarely reproduce the words they can accurately spell for spelling tests, which are very artificial, in their creative written work. This can go on for years and is usually because their train of thought is switched from 'spelling test' to 'story', when what you hope is happening is that they are concentrating on other things, like plot, mood and generally being creative. An undue focus on accuracy in the primary years will actually stifle creativity with your daughter switching to 'safe' words which she knows how to spell. This is why the 'Breakthrough to literacy' scheme failed so dramatically - with kids producing very long, very boring pieces of work based on words they were confident to use.

A VR grammar test is much more like a spelling test than an essay, so if your DD does well in those, you don't need to worry.

And remember, they are only little once - if she is a bit of a dreamboat now, please let her enjoy it!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:14 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:25 pm
Posts: 2556
I don't quite know why you haven't got more response to this - maybe trying posting it on a general forum, under 11+ topics or some such, you may get more answers - I know there's lots of people out there ready to offer advice.
Firstly there, y3 is young. From the wise old perspective of having a y6 and a y8 I'd say, sob, enjoy their childhood! Encourage the reading and do the game playing mentioned elsewhere on teh site - boggle etc (we didn't actually play any games, per se, but everyone else seems to). Maybe it will all become more relevant when DD1 is at GS and enjoying it, but I'd give her a year or 2 "off" first.
As for the hand waving in the air, don't tell me about it! There again our boys have been in class sizes of plus 30, so it's inevitable that 30 are going to be disappointed each time. When I've gone in on open day type things, it seems that the same old same old get asked every time. Maybe bring it up at parents' evening or have a Little Chat that you're worried that she's fading into the background and getting demoralised. It certainly doesn't sound fair in a smaller class setting if she's been ignored. But slowly slowly catchy monkey as well as pushy pushy. In my DS2's class, the successful ones at GS numbered a couple of pushy and the rest The Quiet Ones. I really think teachers and charts and tables don't always get who the clever ones are.
I seem to keep changing my mind with what I'm writing, but suffice it to say it's early days, so try to enjoy her for now. If you still need a tutor recommendation, PM me.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:22 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:32 pm
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Location: East Kent
good idea Milla, I will move this to general 11+ topics

yoyo
moderator


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 1:41 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:25 pm
Posts: 2556
one thing I used to do (the shame) is when DS started messing about (the idea!) was to say, "right, that's it, I'm not going to do anymore..." He was appalled and it worked quite well. He had to come to me then rather than me beseeching him.
But, as I said earlier, it really is early days so I'd lay off her for a while.
Which GS is your DD1 going to? My little one (boy) is in Y6, too.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 1:49 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:16 pm
Posts: 2113
Year 3 is very young to worry about preparation unless she is actually struggling.(which she is not)
Keep on reading, share read some harder books and buy some maths based CD roms with maths games/ spellings etc.There are lots of websites too.There are even some fun board games that are maths and Literacy based.
Review the situation in the middle of year 4 and then put her name down for a tutor for yr 5 would be my advice, for what it is worth.
Don't know if this will get censored but....
have friends whose children go to the nationwide network of Explore Learning centres.We have one in Sainsburys in Chelmsford.They all highy rate them as fun and stimulating with more than one friend's child going up a whole Nat Curriculum level in a couple of terms with them.It is games and computer based.
Good luck anyway. :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:44 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 11:06 pm
Posts: 333
Hi Perplexed

My DD1 was very similar to yours during Y3. Getting her to do homework etc was a nightmare and very little seemed to be achieved at school. Always a dreamer, teachers kept telling us she needed to concentrate more, without telling us how to help her.

However! At the end of year 4 we had the opportunity to look round our local grammar school, and we explained all about needing good qualifications to do well in life etc. DD1 was very very impressed and it was like someone had pressed the 'it's time to grow up a bit now' button. The child that went back to school in Y5 is organised, hardworking, determined and (mostly) compliant with homework/extra work. A little bribery in the form of horse riding lessons for extra work (VR) has been used but other than that we didn't DO anything. My guess is that your DD will be the same, and when she's ready she'll get it together and accept your help! 8)

Games are good for now - Mastermind is good for learning to think logically (and I do wonder if this helped my DD1 organise herself and her thoughts), DD plays a game called 'Bookworm Adventures' on the computer which is word based.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 10:50 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2009 6:45 pm
Posts: 54
Location: Gloucestershire
Thanks so much for all the sound advice and suggestions so far.

I am not as neurotic as I sound. With DD1 I home-educated during her Reception Year as she was not ready for formal learning. With both girls I took them to a Steiner parent and toddler group for many years, until DD1 was nearly 6!

I was concerned about DD2's attitude. DD2 said, of her spellings, "Oh, I'll give them a go" after briefly glancing at them; at the same moment DD1 declared she wanted to get ALL her spellings right this term, as she made one tiny mistake last term!

Spellings aside, DD2 was very frustrated recently, declaring, "Why is everyone so keen on books in this house!" She was exasperated, trying to find some pipe cleaners for the latest project she had in mind.

I shall try to relax and hope she will catch up with her peers in due time, perhaps with a more exacting teacher next year.

I thought a tutor (short term) might help her with her confidence, but perhaps she is too young. I'll listen out for a tutor who might be able to help her in the future, if I can't myself.


Milla, DD1 is due to start Pates in September - she liked the climbing wall!
Where is your DS going?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 10:53 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:16 pm
Posts: 2113
Perplexed 2009 wrote:
I am not as neurotic as I sound.
I shall try to relax and hope she will catch up with her peers in due time, perhaps with a more exacting teacher next year.

I thought a tutor (short term) might help her with her confidence, but perhaps she is too young. I'll listen out for a tutor who might be able to help her in the future, if I can't myself.


Didn't mean to make you feel neurotic.We all worry in various ways.Some form of game gased tution like Explore learning or something homespun might appeal.Just a little wary of the 1:1 especially if you are going to do it later for grammar.That said ..there are probably some tutors out there who could make it fun?


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 Post subject: Hearing and Reading
PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 8:26 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2010 5:32 pm
Posts: 11
Hi!

My DD is 10 and I work in SEN, currently with Statemented deaf kids. Both my nephews have had trouble with their hearing at times and the younger ones's literacy has been affected, his maths being phenomenally good.

Would you consider a thorough hearing test, just in case certain sounds or combinations of sounds cannot be properly heard? I hope you don't mind me suggesting this.

Or it might just be that, given that each child is unique, they will eventually get there but at their own pace and in their own way. My DD just got in to a local grammar: it didn't fall into place until the very end. And even now some sounds she cannot pronounce properly - a little lisp. And everthing has gone downhill since the exams!

Reading? My DD has done a bit of reading aloud before she is read to at bedtime. This reading aloud - 15 minutes EVERY night - is invaluable.

Spelling? Try to find a mix of words (10 in total), 2 times each week and then increased to 3, including 5 words with the challenging combination of sounds. Each set of 10 should be copied out twice and then tested. Rewards for improvement and, maybe, a progress chart on the wall?

Some consolation? As for the literacy/English exams, we know a Teacher who marks grammar entrance exams and she is adamant that what they look for most is creativity and imagination in writing. A bit of structure is handy but perfect spelling is not essential.

So long as your child feels loved and cherished regardless, they are bound to be the best they can be.

Good luck!

T80


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