Does Class Still exist in Britain? 10am Sunday 10th April
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no Tipsy, what we try to do for kids who are lacking nurturing care is help with parenting for the parents, if all else fails there they get foster parents who can do the job on a one to one (or very small group) basis 24/7, 52 weeks a year.Loopyloulou wrote:Are you suggesting that the state should be paying our boarding school fees herman ?
Some boarding schools have a real family feel. Twenty kids (prep school age) in a house (not dorms) with hamsters, dogs, housemaster's toddlers running around the kitchen table whilst the boarders are enjoying recounting their day with 8 members of staff of which three are gaps that act like big brothers and sisters.
The fundamental difference with your argument Herm is that the overwhelming majority of boarding parents LOVE their children and nurture and care for them and their children know how much they are loved! Forgive me, but I am pretty cross and offended that they can be seen as the same thing.
The fundamental difference with your argument Herm is that the overwhelming majority of boarding parents LOVE their children and nurture and care for them and their children know how much they are loved! Forgive me, but I am pretty cross and offended that they can be seen as the same thing.
I find this quote quite bewildering as you normally imply how accepting the top schools are of anyone regardless of their financial means and background and how well children of all backgrounds fit in and are accepted.T.i.p.s.y wrote:Most people do act decently but I wonder how decent those who are in an apparent higher class act when they socially exclude likeminded peers because they did not grow up within the "huntin, shootin, fishin" set or their family isn't in thepeerage.com.
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Tipsy - I was told by a head of an indie (former deputy head of a boarding school) that lost of the kids who boarded were from dysfunctional families and that is why they were sent to board. Unfortunately it was clear that being a boarder did not improve matters.T.i.p.s.y wrote:Some boarding schools have a real family feel. Twenty kids (prep school age) in a house (not dorms) with hamsters, dogs, housemaster's toddlers running around the kitchen table whilst the boarders are enjoying recounting their day with 8 members of staff of which three are gaps that act like big brothers and sisters.
The fundamental difference with your argument Herm is that the overwhelming majority of boarding parents LOVE their children and nurture and care for them and their children know how much they are loved! Forgive me, but I am pretty cross and offended that they can be seen as the same thing.
Now it is clear that nearly all families are dysfunctional to some degree and if you think yours (or anyone elses) isn't then it is just cos you haven't realised it yet.
I'm sure nearly all families would say they love their children, even the woman I saw last week who has to go to crown court with her son on charges of assault on members of the family.
However there are many sorts of love; Selfless (can be too much of a doormat), selfish (why are we doing all this), stifling (kids have to grow up and do their own thing ), freespirited (very nice but they need some guidance), vicarious (not good to live through your kids).
Actually we are all a bit of all of these at various times - good thing really.
Herm, unless it has bypassed you in some way I think it is pretty obvious that I do not rate my family as fully functional.
As I have said in the past it seems that like state schools, psychologists and other parents seem to think that one size fits all. Therefore every child will be tormented by being sent OR asking to go to boarding school. None will be happy, all will be loners who cannot connect with others. I may not bring up my kids in the same way as many on here but I do not judge other's for what I perceive to be odd, neglectful, disinterested, make do attitudes because I do not know their kids and therefore I do not know what is best for them.
As I have said in the past it seems that like state schools, psychologists and other parents seem to think that one size fits all. Therefore every child will be tormented by being sent OR asking to go to boarding school. None will be happy, all will be loners who cannot connect with others. I may not bring up my kids in the same way as many on here but I do not judge other's for what I perceive to be odd, neglectful, disinterested, make do attitudes because I do not know their kids and therefore I do not know what is best for them.
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Fully functional is probably not the opposite of dysfunctional so wrong choice of words there. We are fully functional and dysfunctional!
SSM, the top schools are accepting and children of all backgrounds do fit in and on the whole most parents seem down to earth and very "chatty". However I am slowly becoming aware that the vast majority of parents are always having dinner parties with each other with a few parents never invited to such events and my son, although extremely popular and confident and thankfully blissfully unaware, has not been invited to anyone's house or birthday. It is becoming quite obvious that parents are engineering who comes to their house and why.I find this quote quite bewildering as you normally imply how accepting the top schools are of anyone regardless of their financial means and background and how well children of all backgrounds fit in and are accepted.
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I do think you are onto something Tipsy. I am also aware of a certain type of parent (at the risk of being libellous I refer to them as the "golf club" type!) who tries rather too hard to maintain a certain cliquiness. Personally I think this often reflects their own feelings of insecurity in their situation.
Last edited by Loopyloulou on Tue Aug 09, 2011 2:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Loopy