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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 8:57 am 
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The confusing letters in quite a few districts are one of the reasons why I think parents are better to open the letter and not wait for the kids to get home from school / back from footlball etc etc - the kid will be looking for the RESULT ie YES or NO - some of these letters take a lot of analysis! They can say things like -

"has been assessed as suitable for selective education"

"has been included in the group....."

"Has attained a score of *** ....... *** other children have also reached this score"

and somewhere in the letter:

"This is not an offer of a school place" - OK we really know the offer comes in March but seeing that can be confusing.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 9:05 am 
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I think that as a parent you need to have some time to digest the news yourself and then to be able to support your child especially if it is not the news that you wish.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 9:34 am 
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For us there was no choice, we were away on holiday at the time and got someone to go in and open the envelope on our behalf, they then 'phoned the news through. This was even more confused by the fact dd who sat the exams was in a different country to us again (ie: there were three different countries involved in the situation).

That being said, I believe each situation should be judged on it's own merits. The maturity of the child should be taken into account. If the child is to open the letter themselves, I think the possible wordings should be talked through beforehand so they have an idea how difficult it can be.

I also advocate steaming open of letters so parents can digest the news befoe the dc in question officially opens it - I know not everyone will agree with that, but hey, I have no problem at all with it, especially when things don't turn out the way you hope for. When DD wasn't allocated any of our choices and was given the local failing school, I was glad to have read the letter first so I could respond positively when she read it. I admitted the fact to her weeks/months down the line that I had opened it first and she was OK about it.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 9:40 am 
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Agreed snowdrops - a touch of steam can be very useful and a pre warned parent is a much calmer one.

Also useful if we actually KNEW what the letters were likely to be like - DS and DD took the Skipton exam 3 years apart and the results letter had changed out of all recognition (and comprehensibility - for the worse :oops: ) by the time DD took it.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 10:31 am 
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Location: Buckinghamshire
I opened the letter and then resealed it for DS to open. The news was good but I wanted time to compose myself had it not been.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 11:22 am 
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Location: Maidstone
Totally agree, its all well and good if they have passed, but if they havent you want to compose yourself. I was home and she was still at school when I received the news she hasnt been assessed suitable. It was VERY sad for me at that point and had a big lump in my throat and shed a tear but when I went to pick her up about 30 mins later all I wanted to do was give a her a BIG cuddle and wrap her in my arms. When I eventually told her the news it very low key and she handled it well even showing the letter to her uncle and aunt when they came to our house.

This is the problem I am faced with on Monday, the email is send at 4pm so it will be waiting for us after school and I just dont know want to open it with her. I am thinking of opening it, compose myself for a few minutes if I have to then tell her the news. If its good news I will scream this whole place down immediately. :D

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 12:20 pm 
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yes Sherry - open it on your own, I can't imagine trying to open one (can just imagine the computer beinig a pain at that point) , read the info and get head in gear with DC there watching too. It is just one of those things that parents have to do.

However we can all be there too so don't worry!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 3:29 pm 
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hermanmunster wrote:
yes Sherry - open it on your own, I can't imagine trying to open one (can just imagine the computer beinig a pain at that point) , read the info and get head in gear with DC there watching too. It is just one of those things that parents have to do.

However we can all be there too so don't worry!



i agree - we do need time to compose ourselves. If i was you sherry i would make sure she is busy involved with something and then check your mail.

I really think with letters we should open them too. however, dd1 was aware of when the results were due so was setting by the letter box waiting, it had her name on it so i had to let her open it but she passed it straight to me with a puzzled look as as she didnt understand the jargon! - i remember scanning it searching for that "pass" - thankfully it was there but worded differently.

with dd2 we had a post strike for the medway test, it didnt arrive until very late so i was able to grab and run off the bathroom by myself! :? Before i screamed the house down in happiness! :lol:


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 5:30 pm 
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Sherry- although I don't exactly know where you live, I can deduce its not too far away, so hoping to hear your screams on Monday!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 8:47 pm 
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Sherry_d

rooting for you all the way on Monday. I hope you get the news you desire and you can scream as much as you want. If the neighbours call the police :lol: :lol: , you can explain to them, am sure they will understand. :lol: :lol:

Fingers crossed :) :)


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