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 Post subject: Chinese parenting
PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 3:45 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 30, 2009 12:06 pm
Posts: 2095
Location: Birmingham
I just came across this article and am feeling somewhat traumatised... I did wonder at first if it was some sort of spoof or joke (particularly the recount of how the mother is treating her 7 year old).
Maybe this puts debates about homework/exam practice things into perspective...

I feel like a really nice parent now, one of those "You are wonderful whatever you do" types - should we be hardening up on the kids?

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142 ... na+parents


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 Post subject: Re: Chinese parenting
PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 4:06 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 5:06 pm
Posts: 267
wow! I'm feeling like an angel...

Will take a printout of this and show it to my DC... :twisted:

About time I got some appreciation!


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 Post subject: Re: Chinese parenting
PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 5:07 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 9:28 pm
Posts: 2439
Now I feel like a completely, lazy mother. But not everyone can be first in the class. Or be classical pianists. Or get straight A's all the time. I'm definitely a Western Mum. Has anyone actually asked the children what they feel like, or is there such peer pressure amonst parent to achieve via thier children.

Time to arrange the next sleepover...!


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 Post subject: Re: Chinese parenting
PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 5:19 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 27, 2008 9:51 pm
Posts: 2237
Oh dear, this is such bad timing.

We used to have a daughter who did all this stuff off her own bat and still found time for sleepovers, computer games etc., but has turned in recent weeks into prematurely teenaged, hoodie-wearing, unmotivated slacker from h*ll. I am SO tempted to print this out, take it home and start applying it...

Mike


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 Post subject: Re: Chinese parenting
PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 5:49 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 30, 2009 12:06 pm
Posts: 2095
Location: Birmingham
I did find it interesting that the writer suggested that 'Western' parents would blame the child's school, teacher, syllabus, resources, etc if they were not doing well, but that Chinese parents would place the 'blame' firmly on the child and insist that they work harder.

There is NO WAY I am going to the extreme of the writer - but perhaps we should encourage children to shoulder responsibility more? Mt ds2 has a sort of victim mentality - if he didn't do well in an exercise/homework etc he has a host of things to blame it on - the homework being 'wrong', lightbulb being dim, the baby crying, the smell of cooking...you name it.
In contrast, ds1 would sit and complete his practice work with a toddler biting his knees, the neighbour fixing his roof and a baby screaming in his ear, and would not be phased!


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 Post subject: Re: Chinese parenting
PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 6:02 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 25, 2010 6:33 pm
Posts: 287
I am not impressed, but disgusted. Back to the dark ages...


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 Post subject: Re: Chinese parenting
PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 6:26 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:19 pm
Posts: 6257
Found the whole article very sad. There seems so little room for enjoying one's children and having fun as a family.


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 Post subject: Re: Chinese parenting
PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 6:36 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 83
Maybe that's why Vanessa Mae doesn't want to have a relationship with her mother.


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 Post subject: Re: Chinese parenting
PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:06 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 83
Would also like to add that my DC also love it when they 'get' a piano piece and they too enjoy playing their pieces more once they've 'got it' but they didn't have to suffer the pain to gain the pleasure!


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 Post subject: Re: Chinese parenting
PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:16 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:57 pm
Posts: 1446
Mmmmm, firstly I wonder what is the point in all these children being forced to learn the piano and violin and it really is a cliche. How many of them actually use it in later life? :?

That's not to say that learning an instrument is not beneficial as DS2 studies 4 including his voice. I doubt he'll ever be a professional musician but he loves music, for now. In saying all that I am the type of mother that makes sure my child studies an instrument for a minimum of six months before they decide to give it up. Once they have commited (not necessarily by six months) and get their own instrument it is on the understanding that they then learn the instrument for the duration of prep school so around four/five years. I don't care if they get to grade 1 or grade 8 on it but I am not spending hundreds or, in DS2's case, thousands of pounds on an instrument for my child to give it up because they are bored with it.


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