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 Post subject: Motivation
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 12:12 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 19, 2011 11:50 am
Posts: 2
Does anybody have any motivational tips to keep my dd on track?
Dd1 passed her 11+ in 2009 and I have been pestering dd2 that she needs to do some work for ages if she stands any chance of passing.(she is currently at about 4c / 4bs, so with some work stands a chance!) For months she has not wanted to do anything and this week the penny has finally dropped and she has started doing some 10 mins test. The problem is I don't know how long the enthusiasm will last for... so I need some tips to keep her working... bribary is always a good one :) but wondered if anybody had any other ideas that they used with the children.
Many Thanks


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 Post subject: Re: Motivation
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 6:20 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:57 pm
Posts: 1167
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Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Motivation
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 6:51 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 09, 2006 6:09 pm
Posts: 379
Location: groombridge, e.sussex
A friend was having similar issues with DS2, he assumed he would follow older brother to his school (a super selective), although friend and teacher agreed that he was not on right track. They had a "meeting" with him, the teacher actually telling him that currently he would not be going to his brothers' school. Straight away he pulled his socks up and put in loads of effort. Needless to say he passe dwith flying colours! Perhaps your DD just needs a reminder of the rewards at the end of the work?


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 Post subject: Re: Motivation
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 7:18 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:52 pm
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sp wrote:
A friend was having similar issues with DS2, he assumed he would follow older brother to his school (a super selective), although friend and teacher agreed that he was not on right track. They had a "meeting" with him, the teacher actually telling him that currently he would not be going to his brothers' school. Straight away he pulled his socks up and put in loads of effort. Needless to say he passe dwith flying colours! Perhaps your DD just needs a reminder of the rewards at the end of the work?

Not really 'needless to say' - there are children who pull up socks (or indeed never let them droop in the first place) and put in loads of effort and still don't get there. What I have observed on the forum is that younger siblings do tend to do well - after all, the family has already had a trial run :) - and those few who don't get into the top flight schools do well elsewhere because parental interest and support is already in place.

Definitely agree with the little and often approach - also habit and routine is great for most kids - It can easily become as unthinkable not to do your 11 plus prep as not to brush your teeth in the morning.

Actually - with my son - I might settle for tooth brushing for now. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Motivation
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 10:10 am 
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Joined: Thu May 19, 2011 11:50 am
Posts: 2
Thanks for all your comments, I agree that the little and often approach is manageable, as long as I still allow her time on the trampoline she seems ok to work, fingers crossed it stays like that. Just hope we haven’t left it too late for a little and often approach, may need to escalate very soon to a lot and often approach !!!

Belinda – I am there with the wine and chocolates !!! think by the time dd has taken her 11+ I will need a subscription to weight watchers :D

Push-pull-mum – That’s it giving up now – still have to remind her to clean her teeth every morning at that’s at 9 years old! No hope really :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Motivation
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 6:13 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2011 2:49 pm
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I'm afraid I am with the bribery camp. My DD wants a mobile phone and I have promised one for the last day of the 11+ so long as she doesn't get huffy about doing the work.
I have always rewarded effort in my house and she will get one if she works hard. We have had one or two bad days but I always remind her of the carrot which spurs her on.
Short term she can watch TV or play on the DS after completing a test.
I also like wine and chocs as my reward too!


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 Post subject: Re: Motivation
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 8:58 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 12:54 pm
Posts: 483
We had lots of motivation battles with our Yr 5 daughter when we started - and still do to some extent. I think a lot of it for us is about managing expectations - she needs to know how much she has to do and when she'll do it. And I need to not expect too much! She seems to need a constant stream of eating treats whilst she's working - a cherry for every question sometimes! Or a chocolate biscuit at the end of a paper. I see them as rewards rather than bribes :)

We also have an agreement that on one day a week (Saturdays was her choice) she does no work at all. It makes for a lovely day for all of us.


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