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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 2:11 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2011 9:15 pm
Posts: 26
Feeling really demotivated at the mo, any advice will be warmly received.
Started preparing DS for super selective Grammar school about end of March. I do wish I had started earlier but for one reason or another it didnt happen. Anyway I felt it was better late than never so Ive just tried to do my best. Didnt really know where to start , no-one in DSs class doing this, couldnt seem to get a tutor recommended, tried a few , not really satisfied but do now have someone who my DS and I like. Ds is in year 5, levels are 4b/4a. Got my own system going, doing predominantly Bond. DS isnt particularly impressed with doing extra work after school, we do about 1 and a half hours a day. He does it , but only just.

I am now beginning to feel, well ive felt a bit like this from the start, that realistically we are not going to make it,at the same time I dont want to give up either! Comparing to those children who do get in im wondering if we r really only touching the surface wrt preparation. I still havent started on practice papers for Maths, the school is Latymers and the papers are tricky to say the least. plan to start this in summer hols by which time i hope to complete maths syllabus. still on bond 10-11non vr DS currently gets between 85-95%, and as for English DSs weakest subject, well getting son to read is like pulling teeth.!

Today met a parent by chance who has got children into latymers and when parent told me what the did with their DS to get in it really has hit me they I might be way off the mark! An assessment paper every morning before school, reading of many CLASSICS, working 9-5 sat and Sun. I know my DS would never do this amount of work and honestly I dont think ive got it in me to make him do that. Is there anyone out there who feels that an averagish achievin child going to an averagish state primary with a mediocre amount of tuition from a mother who is struggling through some of the content at times! and who started pretty late in the day can actually make it!!! :?


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 2:26 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:32 pm
Posts: 6963
Location: East Kent
personally I think that is a ridiculous amount of work and I wouldn't make a child go through that. Have a look at other posts about Latymers ( use the search facility)


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 2:30 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2011 3:39 pm
Posts: 36
Location: Watford
I think you could probably do it but only if your DS wishes this too.

My DS had (still has sometimes) a similar attitude but last week we had a long discussion, we looked at the schools in the area, saw the good ones and the bad ones online, and he decided he really REALLY wants to get into Parmiters. I told him that it is his choice, and I can only support him as much as I can, that I can provide him with a tutor (coming once a week) and we can tutor him a few more days personally. In order for us to achieve that we created togheter a rutine, wrote it down on paper and agreed to it. Now we don't have anymore moaning as he knows exactly what days he is practicing.

I totally understand your panic, I feel the same, we do maths tests and I sometimes feel like screaming, he has no issues doing the harder ones but he makes silly mistakes on easier ones or he doesn't read the problem completely. To be honest I panic every week until the tutor comes, he tells me more stories about children he tutored in the last 7 years, how some were at a lower level than my son and still got their school, how my son in great, so I calm down for a day or two. :?

I do think you have time, but your DS needs to want this with all his heart otherwise he would not agree to all the efforts.

Good luck!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 4:10 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2011 9:15 pm
Posts: 26
Thank you for the honest replies.I have tried tentatively to explain to my DS the benefits of going to Latymers...but he really doesn't get it. He's quite immature in that regards, and the reason I dont want to try to fully convince him is because I,( I know I sound sooo negative) but I deep down feel that we probably wont make it and I dont want him, or me to feel disappointed.

I must seem such a negative person ,all the things I encourage my children not to be. I just do not want to be unrealistic and then feel so let down at the end of it.

Anyway for now I will keep trying, the extra work does seem to be helping my DC at school, Ill be interested to see if his levels have risen since the last few months, should be getting report soon., and does my DS really have to read classics, Mr Men books seem to be a struggle for my DS right now.... He hates reading!!!!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 4:14 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2011 2:49 pm
Posts: 99
Of course you can!

Have you got any CAT scores as high ones could boost your confidence.
What do his teachers think?

I sit here from a point of only just above average CAT scores and no confidence from the school on my DD passing but I feel she has got it and owe it to her to give it go.

I also agree with Luna - if he wants it he will pit the effort in.

If you don't try you will never know.

Nothing ventured Nothing gained!

Ps. You've always got us to support you so that you can support your DS.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 4:26 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2011 9:15 pm
Posts: 26
Thank-you chocolatey Mum, your reply is really kind. I will show my complete ignorance here but I really am not sure what CAT scores are all about? MY Sons teacher doesnt seem too familiar with grammar school stuff but did say he thought my Son was bright and that he thought i should give it a go :)

I guess I should sign off now and do some work with my DS now!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 11:08 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:25 pm
Posts: 463
I think you are being abit too harsh on yourself-you may have started later then originally planned but you are doing all that you can right now to help.I don't think you would be the only one to be slighlty overwhelmed but there are children who do gain places with less time prep time.

I think a level 4b is the average for a year six child so that is something which can be improved and your sons nvr scores are good.Everyone needs to start somewhere, but I would ignore comparing your child as there is always going to be someone who is doing far more than you.

Perhaps you could take your son to an open day,where they would be able to get a snapshot of the school and this might motivate them abit more,but maybe reduce the time into shorter slots and offer more rewards for more effort. :lol:

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 02, 2011 8:27 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:32 pm
Posts: 6963
Location: East Kent
Little and often is the best way, don't forget games too. Learning isn't all practice papers.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 02, 2011 8:53 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:30 pm
Posts: 960
And 90 minutes a day on school days is FAR TOO LONG for a 9/10 year old. Get some Bond 10 minute tests. Do a couple of them a day - maybe in the car on the way to and from school. Once the summer holidays come you can start doing 90 minutes a day.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 02, 2011 9:20 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2011 9:15 pm
Posts: 26
Thank you so much for the replies and tips, I do feel a bit more positive now, I will go back to my initial motto when we first began that we wont know unless we try! Thanks once again and all the best to those of you on this journey!


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