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 Post subject: Ready to give up....
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 5:52 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 23, 2011 3:55 am
Posts: 33
Don't know how much more of this I can take :cry: . DS is bright, always top group in everything, loves maths and hates English. He is year 5, June born, and at 4c English, 4b Maths and reading age of 12. We are in competitive area, but not highly competitive like Bucks from what I understand as I realise his SATS scores would mean he didn't have much of a chance in other areas of UK.

If I left him on his own to do comprehension homework his answers are dreadful, eg Why did Aunt Jane feel that way? Answer: because she was sad
Which she wasn't, plus that is the answers and punctuation used. He just can't be bothered - just wants to do things as quickly as possible to get away from work.

He has had some tutoring and just started a new tutor this week whom gave him a standardised score of 111. He is mainly going to do VR with him which leaves me with Maths and English.

I try and give him a couple of pages of Nfer papers through the week as he doesn't get homework - this should take about 15mins - however, he sulks, cries, says he can't do it... gets me super stressed out... and generally causes so much upset in the house. This evening score was 4/16 :(

I really think *** it, I can't do this anymore. I am working and studying for a degree too and the 11 plus stress is too much for me...

Feel like packing it all in......... :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:


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 Post subject: Re: Ready to give up....
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 6:00 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:22 am
Posts: 3664
How strange I've just posted a similar thread elsewhere ! Do you think it could be the weather ?!

I feel exactly the same , but luckily my trump card is that the only other boy in his class taking the 11 plus is his nemesis , he can't stand him and so I've made a big thing about how he's going to feel when he takes it and DS doesn't..it has worked slightly :? I also feel like just screaming at him and saying I can't be bothered and just leave it but we know that we won't do that because we care too much. So , I suppose the only answer is to try and get them to feel they really want to do it rather then just having to sit down and do a load of boring work.It's not easy and I'm hoping some wise old owl from here will have all the answers ! :D


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 Post subject: Re: Ready to give up....
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 7:00 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 2:22 pm
Posts: 710
scarlett wrote:
How strange I've just posted a similar thread elsewhere ! Do you think it could be the weather ?!

I feel exactly the same , but luckily my trump card is that the only other boy in his class taking the 11 plus is his nemesis , he can't stand him and so I've made a big thing about how he's going to feel when he takes it and DS doesn't..it has worked slightly :? I also feel like just screaming at him and saying I can't be bothered and just leave it but we know that we won't do that because we care too much. So , I suppose the only answer is to try and get them to feel they really want to do it rather then just having to sit down and do a load of boring work.It's not easy and I'm hoping some wise old owl from here will have all the answers ! :D


God, I could have posted that as well! I have a bright Y5 boy who seems to cry and strop petulantly if things aren't going his way. He seems to be better with Maths and English (though again, some of his answers are rushed and based on the assumption that the marker 'sort of knows what I mean because it's obvious'!) but when the codes in VR rear their ugly head it all kicks off!

I have no answer except bribery and catching him in a good mood. Very difficult when younger siblings are around and a) being annoying and b)being distracting and when you have school work and or anything else that looks slightly more interesting!

Arghhhh


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 Post subject: Re: Ready to give up....
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 7:28 pm 
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Posts: 33
Hi both - nice to feel not so alone with this! I suppose I am feeling the guilt too of the pressure he is under when I really think he should be having fun after school, not doing more work!

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm... suppose tomorrow is another day and hopefully a better one for all of us!


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 Post subject: Re: Ready to give up....
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 7:47 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:03 pm
Posts: 1413
Hi Devonmum, I was just thinking I go through these temper tantrums with my DS and we're not even at the 11+ yet. I am going to be a broken woman by then :roll: ! I think it's particularly worrying for the parents because they know what is riding on this period, when the DC are not fully aware of the implications.

I think the DC are exhausted at the moment, coming up to half term, so perhaps that's part of it. And they know that the preparation is to do with a change - of scene, friends, etc etc, which must be a bit anxiety-inducing, even without realising it. It's the next stage of their life; growing up a bit more.

Perhaps a chat about all that, a couple of days off and a treat, might help restore him a bit?

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Seize the day ... before it seizes you.


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 Post subject: Re: Ready to give up....
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:05 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 4:22 pm
Posts: 347
Location: West Yorks
I agree with fatbananas, we are still in the middle of winter and picking up all the bugs and colds, it's nearly half term as well.

You have my full symapthies as I am at uni as well and I understand how much of a struggle it is to fit everything in. It is hard enough managing with regular school work and after school activites without trying to fit in prep for the 11+ on top of all that.

I could have written your post on Saturday, I nearly throttled my DS who was so peeved with having to do work that he wrote so hard on his paper you can read it three pages down :evil:

I have made a contract with him which dictates days on which we will work and also behaviour that is expected (from both of us :D ) and also I try to have some snacks for us while we are working.

We are both still coming to terms with how much there is to do, I am shocked and thinking that maybe I don't need to sleep and maybe I can fit it all in and he is just annoyed that I haven't forgotten about it yet :lol: :lol:

Vic x

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 Post subject: Re: Ready to give up....
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:19 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 9:28 pm
Posts: 2439
There must be something in the air - I nearly throttled both children tonight!

The elder ds didn't revise for hs tests tomorrow, but did the homework due in later in the week.

Second (year 5) child didn't want to do his 11+ work, and has been in a contrary mood.

I am a certified frump this evening, and have poured myself a large glass of red wine :P hiccup!


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 Post subject: Re: Ready to give up....
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:30 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 4:22 pm
Posts: 347
Location: West Yorks
pheasantchick wrote:
I am a certified frump this evening, and have poured myself a large glass of red wine :P hiccup!


ooh yes please, make mine a very big one!

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 Post subject: Re: Ready to give up....
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:34 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:22 am
Posts: 3664
I'm on my second glass...feel much better ..the world's a beautiful place :P


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 Post subject: Re: Ready to give up....
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:34 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:44 pm
Posts: 357
I'm staying in a travelodge in Thame ready to take my son to do his 11+ in Aylesbury tomorrow (we live too far to risk arriving late for the test)

He has just had a bath then appeared crying his eyes out saying he did not want to leave his current school (we are moving 100 miles so no way he can stay in current school). Great prep for tomorrow.

Poor mite - I really feel for him - too much stress with moving house, moving school and taking important exams.


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