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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 6:33 pm 
Going through an eleven plus test, I know that the eleven plus is extremely stressful. Does it need to be? Does it change your childs future? I would really like to know other views! :D

lulu :mrgreen:


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 7:21 pm 
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Does it change your childs future? I would really like to know other views!


This is a rather strange question: How would you know whether it changes your child's future, given that you will not experience the alternative ? (You can only experience one future, not many. Oops I am getting confused here! :shock: :shock:

Errr... :?


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 7:22 pm 
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Errr... :?


By the way forgot to sign in , INEX


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 8:13 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:10 pm
Posts: 8206
Location: Buckinghamshire
Anonymous wrote:
Quote:
Does it change your childs future? I would really like to know other views!


This is a rather strange question: How would you know whether it changes your child's future, given that you will not experience the alternative ? (You can only experience one future, not many. Oops I am getting confused here! :shock: :shock:

Errr... :?


Hi INEX

I understand your thinking, but the 11+ is a "pivotal point" in some children's lives, and I think that is what is meant here.

Having been through Number One Son missing out on the 11+, I can say that it does "change your future" - it will change our future and his if we have to somehow fund private school, it has changed his future because so many of his friends have left his school and he is more alone than before. There are so many other changes to "what might have been", but I shan't go on.

However, to answer Lulu's very wide question, I would say that the power of the 11+ to change any child's future, and the stress that it creates, is entirely in the hands of the parents.

Wherever you live, you know the schooling options, you know your child. You must evaluate them and make a list of "best to worst options", and then work with those. The stress that any child feels from the 11+ can be managed if parents are wise and have their own clear strategy on what to do if the worst happens, and present that positively to the child.

It all comes down to being prepared, and that is where this webiste and Forum are invaluable.

Sally-Anne


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 Post subject: unneccessary stress???
PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:33 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:25 pm
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in reply to what lulu wrote i do agree that the eleven plus is very stressful and has a huge on impact on the child but if with all that work the child gets through to a good school then the work has paid off. Having sat the eleven i think that every child should get a chance to sit it so that they dont regret it when they are older. Even though i sat the exam i still regret not getting through because of the **** school that i had to go to instead!!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:51 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2008 4:25 pm
Posts: 2610
I sat it many years ago. The test itself was not stressful I enjoyed doing them and the practice tests we did in school beforehand. Home tuition etc was very limited, infact I have only recently found out it went on at all. Also with so many Grammar schools available countywide the competition for places was less. If we could go back to something similar it would cut out some of the stress but not all I fear.

Yes it did change my future. I am naturally apathetic and would not have had the qualifications I have now if I hadn't got into the Grammar school. Without them I would not have the lifestyle I now have and would have led a far more insular life. My friend who was academically just as bright transferred to a comp in second year due to relocation and did not do as well as I. My parents certainly couldn't have afforded a private education and though some children who went to the secondary modern still achieved good results they tended to be the hard workers. I feel very much the same about the system today and it is the reason my gut instint tells me to encourage my children to go for the Grammar option..


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 11:28 am 
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Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 1:28 am
Posts: 91
Location: Wirral
When I took the 11+ (too) many years ago there was no tutoring or other preparation, I don't remember worrying about the outcome and for me it wasn't stressful. I suspect my parents hid their concerns from me. I wasn't aware of the advantages of the grammar school at the time but know I have benefitted from it.

As a parent, when my DD took the 11+ last year, I found the whole process stressful, particularly the three month wait for the results. Although I tried to keep this from my DD, all the children were waiting for allocation day and discussed it a lot in school, and she became quite anxious at the end.

Now that she has been at the new school for a month I know it was worth every minute of the worry for her to be in a school that she chose and which she fits into so well. But I'm aware that it's a gamble, even for a bright child, and if she hadn't passed I may well have regretted putting her through it.

And there again, if she had never gone in for the 11+, I would always have wondered 'what if?'...!


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