Does it change your childs future? I would really like to know other views!
This is a rather strange question: How would you know whether it changes your child's future, given that you will not experience the alternative ? (You can only experience one future, not many. Oops I am getting confused here!
I understand your thinking, but the 11+ is a "pivotal point" in some children's lives, and I think that is what is meant here.
Having been through Number One Son missing out on the 11+, I can say that it does "change your future" - it will change our future and his if we have to somehow fund private school, it has changed his future because so many of his friends have left his school and he is more alone than before. There are so many other changes to "what might have been", but I shan't go on.
However, to answer Lulu's very wide question, I would say that the power of the 11+ to change any child's future, and the stress that it creates, is entirely in the hands of the parents.
Wherever you live, you know the schooling options, you know your child. You must evaluate them and make a list of "best to worst options", and then work with those. The stress that any child feels from the 11+ can be managed if parents are wise and have their own clear strategy on what to do if the worst happens, and present that positively to the child.
It all comes down to being prepared, and that is where this webiste and Forum are invaluable.