Time to say goodbye

[menagerie]

Bustwinks, up thread you mentioned that you told your DS that his sister got in because she worked harder and that grammar would have been too much hard work. I think that was a very clever thing to say, because if he ever regrets it, you can just remind him that he has every opportunity to get great results at his comp too - he just has to work as hard as the grammar schools expect children to work. He may just blossom late. DS2 is looking very much that way inclined.

[Frustratedmum]

Hi there, it sounds like your son will get your full support wherever he goes and with that, I suspect he'll do just brilliantly in the comp you mention which sounds great.
However.........I'm going to be a tiny bit awkward if I may and ask if it is also your son's choice as much as yours? If so, ignore what I'm about to say and I really do mean I think he'll do fab!!
The only reason I ask that, is my own experience of the eleven plus was that I wanted to do it and know I was able, but my parents wouldn't let me, for which I've never actually forgiven them for, I didn't reach my potential and always wonder what if?? Now, two very important differences there, are that I decided not to put any effort into Secondary after that-my fault and I had absolutely no parental support throughout school and actually told not to aspire to anything as I had to get a job at 16!! Your son clearly has the support, but my thought is, many years down the line if for any strange reason your DS didn't perhaps get the highest results he wanted, will he regret and wonder what if I'd worked harder at primary school and tried for Grammar? His results for yr5 sound perfectly respectable and although my DD didn't like the test prep (especially in the summer hols) she didn't want to give up her chance of trying. You have a great back up school if he doesn't make it a pass,so is there a lot to lose by trying? Hope you don't mind me saying all this, it's just, even though it's all my own doing in the end, I know how bitter I still am many years later. Even if your son seems happy now with the decision, they just cannot see 6/7 years down the line, no matter how intelligent.

[bustwinks]

Hi Frustratedmum,
Thank you for your comments, Its was both his and my choice that we are not going down this root .
..and to be honest if I could I would take my DD out and put her in the local comp....the journey is huge and costs us a fortune, she has to be at the bus stop for 7.15 and dosen't get home till 4.30....our local school is a 15 minutes walk and finishes at 3pm !!!!...
.... but she loves it and is thriving there...but I think she would thrive wherever she went....this was her choice and I have to respect it

Moan over

[ginx]

Bustwinks,

Think you're wonderful to make such a decision. Especially after working so hard. My dd has friends who are stressed out - at the age of ten - about the 11+, because their parents are pushing them hard. In my dd's opinion, based on their "being in the bottom half", or from my opinion listening to parents, I think it is pointless putting some children in for the exam. I think it doesn't matter if the child isn't stressed out, but if parents and children are, what really is the point?

We think we have a tiny, tiny chance, and my dd is desperate to try ... so we're going to. Different children. But I really admire you. Good luck.