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 Post subject: 11+ and hormones
PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 10:21 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 9:16 am
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I am finding this revision/preparation journey a real roller coaster !! DD can be on a high one minute with 85/90% practice papers and then when silly mistakes are made and gets scores of 70% ( only on the NVR ) she takes it really hard and she then feels she won't pass and gets quite cross with herself and very emotional. I am trying so hard to be level headed about all this but sometimes I really do wonder if I am doing the right thing. I know she really wants it but she is very, very hormonal ( is getting growing pains etc etc ) and so IMO her reactions to things regarding the 11+ can be quite all consuming.

I don't know if hormones are more prevelant with the girls but am finding the hormonal side of her quite difficult to deal with. She is working quite hard but don't want to feel due to her hormones am stepping on eggshells iykwim or be a bit more relaxed about the revision due to her going through this hormonal stage and all that it entails.

Any advice from those who have been through the 11+ process whilst dealing with with their hormonal DC at the same time greatly appreciated.

Many thanks.


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 Post subject: Re: 11+ and hormones
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 8:02 am 
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Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:22 am
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My son is also very emotional and I think it must be hormones too. He has been having all kinds of meltdowns over quite trivial things and yest. had a big wailing episode about not wanting to go to DS school because he's a bit mean so therefore the whole school must contain mean boys :? I wanted to say let's see if you pass first , but thought that might set him off again. DS1 has actually tried to be really kind to him since then , as he says he remembers how he felt doing the 11 plus...he said it was a worrying time. :(

I'm just trying to make myself available for chats ......before bed, when he's on his own , seems to be quite productive and just try not to start emotionally yelling back ! I think DS knows he's being a bit silly but just can't help himself ( I know that feeling once a month ! ) but they have to get the work done ..just make sure she knows she is doing well ( she's doing brilliantly ! ) has lots of rest and a chance to fit in fun things too. It's nearly all over :D


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 Post subject: Re: 11+ and hormones
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 8:08 am 
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Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:18 am
Posts: 306
I think another relevant factor is that they are finally realising that the exam is coming soon. We've all experienced the problem that the children don't appreciate how the time is passing (or perhaps can happily push exam angst into the future), but with the end of the summer term next week, they can't help but notice that time is running out.

And that, in our house, has caused a few panics.


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 Post subject: Re: 11+ and hormones
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 8:35 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 9:16 am
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Thank you Scarlett and Samlet

She has been hormonal for quite a while before the 11+ stuff and is mature in many ways. But what with my hormones and hers.....Well you can only imagine what out house is like at times :lol:

You know slamming doors, raised voices, over reactions, sensitivity etc ( and thats just from me :lol: ) and am finding that, compounded with the 11+ is just making for quite a difficult journey. Many times she has said whilst she is having a 'hormonal induced tantrum' that she doesn't want to do this, que more slamming doors, and to which mostly my reply is, "that is fine, your happiness is the most important thing and I want you to be happy" and then the next thing it is big cuddles all round and she says of course she wants to do this. Its the ups and downs that I find quite tiring.

Is probably normal 11+ prep behaviour but coupled with how she is feeling hormonally I think her feelings to all this are exasperated.

Samlet I agree the exam is pretty much as soon as she goes back to school in September so I think you are right in that they are realising is not long away at all.

Scarlett, think I need tips also on how to not emotionally yell back, failed on that one more than once I think :roll:

Thanks for the advice :)


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 Post subject: Re: 11+ and hormones
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 11:52 am 
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I'm just back from a morning of beauty treatments / pampering...so feel all relaxed and ready for anything :D

I find it just makes things worse when you get all het up yourself and you just need to keep calm . I expect girls are different ( and far worse ) then boys though. I just do what I try and do with DH and let DS rant , give him space and time by himself and then he usually comes round and is fine, wanting lots of hugs at the moment though. :D There are a couple of boys in DS class who gave up with the 11 plus halfway and are now top level 5's, ..we discussed that and I said that it was a shame , as they were capable .He said that wasn't going to happen to him because he wasn't going to give up. We also discuss how it's nearly done and dusted and then he can relax and I've had to promise to let him have friends over every single day of the week :shock:

As long as your DD knows that you are supporting her, that she isn't going through this alone and above all you love her...then that will carry her through, I'm sure . DS1 told me after he passed that he was so glad that I helped him and it made him love me even more :) ( not sure what he would have said if he'd failed :lol: )


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 Post subject: Re: 11+ and hormones
PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 8:57 am 
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Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:56 pm
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Are some children hormonal from about age 2 onwards? My children are just like yours but have been so for a long time, and are still rather young ........ hopefully it's not precocious puberty!! I'm starting to think I'm maybe just no good with children.

One of them use to stage frequent "leaving home" sagas (in year 1) where she'd pack a bag and walk out of the house. She did this one rainy Sunday while an engineer from Transco looked on incredulously while he fixed a gas leak. These events generally happen because "you don't love me".

The hissy fits have reduced in frequency but I get some fantastic lines like "It doesn't matter, I don't want to be an author" when I suggest the occasional improvement to spelling or punctuation. She's only just 8 - is there any hope for me?


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 Post subject: Re: 11+ and hormones
PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:09 am 
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I think that sounds very sensible...why bother with something if it's not needed ?! My DD is always dramatically crying or getting worked up over nothing...all practice for when the time comes :) Hopefully the gas man didn't ring social services ..I'm wondering if he was the same man who came to my house recently, left his van doors open and ( as it was his first visit ) didn't realise my dog's penchant for jumping in the back of random vans and going to sleep in the far corner. An hour later he drove back with an over excited dog hanging out of the passenger window , fending off the phone calls from irate customers wondering why he was late. :oops:


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 Post subject: Re: 11+ and hormones
PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 10:21 am 
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Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:56 pm
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:lol: :lol:
If it was him, there's a danger he would have driven off with my DD.


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 Post subject: Re: 11+ and hormones
PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 12:51 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:57 pm
Posts: 1167
.


Last edited by Belinda on Sat Nov 03, 2012 6:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: 11+ and hormones
PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 1:00 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:22 am
Posts: 3664
................................actually , I have been known to frequent that area :D Perhaps I could put my dog's behavioural problems down to hormones too !


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