The 2016 Thread

[salsa]

salsa - The actual hand/glove expression dates back to King Charles XIV John of Sweden (1763-1844), no less, who is said to have remarked, "qu'il fallait gouverner les Français avec un main de fer couverte d'un gant de velours".

I could answer your other questions but to be honest I obviously don't know you, or for that matter your DC(s), or your circumstances, and any specific advice from me might do more harm than good. It is really down to individual parents to make their own judgements about these things but you could arguably do worse than use my template as a framework to build upon.

I'm just curious, don't worry. Both my sons are very different. My eldest is already at grammar school.
I ask because I am fascinated about how people learn, what motivates them and what works. I have an open mind, but at the end of the day, as parents we do what we "think" is better for them.

For parental advice, however, I tend to seek more modern views especially those intended for the upbringing of children. Having said that, there are opposing views even from this century's "experts".

[Amber]

salsa - The actual hand/glove expression dates back to King Charles XIV John of Sweden (1763-1844), no less, who is said to have remarked, "qu'il fallait gouverner les Français avec un main de fer couverte d'un gant de velours"..

I think it was actually Napolean, particularly as Carl Johan was more likely to have said it in Swedish.

Either way, not everyone thinks it is a great motto for parenting small children.

[moved]

I had a look on word origins.

From here (Arthur Lévy, Napoléon intime, 1893):

L’Empereur disait souvent que les Français devaient être gouvernés par une main de fer dans un gant de velours.

[’The Emperor often used to say that the French had to be governed by an iron hand in a velvet glove.’]

According to this Listserv page, it goes back to Bernadotte, aka King Charles XIV John of Sweden:

_L’Intermédiaire des Chercheurs et Curieux (Notes and Queries Français)_,
vol 156, p. 618 (10 Nov. 1874):

<<Qui donc a la premier employé cette metaphore qui devait avoir tant de
succès? En connaît-on quelque édition antérieure à celle que rapportent les
biographes de Bernadotte, lesquels assurent que le roi de Suède aurait dit
au roi de France (Louis XVIII), qu’il fallait gouverner les Français avec
une main de fer couverte d’un gant de velours?>>

"Suaviter in modo, fortiter in re” was the motto of the British Army’s Women’s Royal Army Corps, who translated it as something like “modest yet resolute”.

[Amber]

Jag har faktiskt fel.

Sorry and I stand corrected but I still don't think it is a great motto.

[moved]

I thought you were correct Amber - they were both using the Latin translation.

Just interesting. As a child the nuns in my infant school used to use an expression about a strong hand with a soft glove.

We have many expressions that are similar 'Good cop, bad cop' comes to mind!

[Lynniew100]

Hi,

Just thought I'll add my 2 pence worth to this discussion.

I strongly believe in the iron hand, soft gloves approach. Children need our guidance so that they can develop their potential to the fullest. Maturity is something that can be cultivated.
I am a full time mum to 3 children. My 2 oldest are in year 4 and year 2. Both started being home tutored by me since year 1, using appropriate bond, schofield & sims books. Both are natural at maths, and slightly weaker in English. We read everyday and do at least one comprehensive paper each week. But they still manage to have time to enjoy pastimes like dance, drama, tennis, gymnastics and karate.
It is a strict routine but it is not overwhelming to them and they both are incredibly proud of their academic ability and understand that to achieve good results, one needs to first put in the hard work.

[pu06]

Year 3 is too early, not before starting of year 5. Let them enjoy their childhood and frankly speaking before year 5 wastage of money

[equilibro]

Hi,

Just thought I'll add my 2 pence worth to this discussion.

I strongly believe in the iron hand, soft gloves approach.

Good for you Lynniew100; always gratifying to see a kindred spirit.

[equilibro]

My DS is in Y4 and I have started him on a structured programme of my own design, which is essentially walk first run later. I DIY tutored my DD in the same way and she takes her 11+ this month; she is well prepared e.g. consistently pulling 90+% scores on VR and I am confident that she will pass. I have not spent a single penny piece on tutoring (sorry tutors, honest!) and I created my own mocks.

I'm pleased to say that our friendly postie brought the fateful 11+ results envelope today, on schedule, and DD has passed.

[wangxiaosara]

Currently on the same truck, my DS is in year 4. Each evening, I will sit down with him doing half an hour English and Maths. He is not allowed to watch TV or play computer games before these works. Difficult at the beginning, get into the routine now.

My partner sometime reads him a bed time story, sometimes he reads on his own before bed.