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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 8:33 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2014 8:15 am
Posts: 147
I realise the question i am about to ask isn't stricktly 11+ related, but it is to do with our plans/hopes/expectations/ideas we have about the future career path of our children (which in turn could influence the school choices).

What i would like to ask is: what job/profession/career do you imagine and/or would like your child to choose in life? What jobs/careers (and university courses) are good/above average/ambitious/suitable for high achievers/well paid/in demand that you would choose for our child i it was up to you? (of course i know life doesn't always go as planned and our children will not necessarily make the choices we want them to make.)

The reason i am asking is because my children ask me for guidance and advice regarding their future job or university choice and i feel i lack knowledge of the world and working world to challenge and broaden their minds enough. I do not really know all what's out there. Any ideas welcome. Thank u!


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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 8:36 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:51 am
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Never never never choose a career for your child.
All you can do is let them get info and learn about a wide range of careers and see what they take to. Most of my school friends are very successful but the majority doing what they planned when they were at school (apart from one - whose father planned her career, lot of stress on the way)


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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 8:48 am 
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Blimey, I only know one person who is doing what they planned at school...honestly, she is a nurse. The rest have deviated massively or did not know at school. Only one of mine knows what he wants, that is the local agricultural college and farming, but this may change of course, he is also interested in tree surgery, I may steer him away from that....lots f money, but high risk...mum would worry a lot!

I also have a friend who's dad forced law down his neck from the age of twelve, at 45 he gave it up, did electricians courses and is now happily working for himself and supporting his family fairly stress free and happy. His dad is still alive and still putting pressure on!

Oooh just remembered a lad who's dad wanted him to follow him into the square mile...He went straight in from uni, I cannot remember the bank he worked for, but within a month he had lost and was hiding 500k (this was the early nineties) he was panicking every night and updating us down the pub. By week 5, he fessed up, walked out hastily and is currently a music teacher. :lol:


Last edited by southbucks3 on Thu May 01, 2014 8:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 8:51 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2014 8:15 am
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I didn't mean to choose career for your child agains their will and inclinations. I would like to have more knowledge so i can share it with them to help them make their choices. You say "most of your friends are very successful", so share with us, what do they do? It is by talking to people about their ideas that we can actually learn about new things we didn't know existed. My son for instance is a brilliant mathematician, but my knowledge of jobs that could suit his talent is limited, hence i was hoping to learn from people's experiences.


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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 8:55 am 
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Also, i wonder whether grammar school choice could actually guarantee or help get a better career in the future.


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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 9:02 am 
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Success is a funny thing, really it is a case of being the best at your chosen career, when your son starts secondary school the diverse curriculum will allow him to see what he is most gifted at.

There is a chap round here that started off digging holes for a living, he is now frightfully rich running a business specialising in digging drains. When I say frightfully rich, I mean above and beyond most of our expectations of rich!


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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 9:41 am 
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I think all you can do is guide and support them and help them find the resources to find out the information they might need.
I have 3 DCs - all at GS:
DC1 (18) - has struggled with knowing what she wants to do in life. GS was steering her down the traditional academic route & it led to a lot of stress. Will she go to uni? I still don't know.
DC2 (year 10) - has a pretty good idea of what he wants to do, but I suspect may change. I have pointed him the the direction of information that may help him choose subjects, but he is fairly laid back and hasn't stressed about any of it yet.
DC3 (year eight) - is adamant he knows what he wants to do, so asks for no guidance - if he changes his mind all we can do is help and support him in investigating other areas.

What I am trying to say is, if they don't know what they want to do, there isn't really anything you can do to advise - you aren't them and can't make these sorts of decisions for them. The best thing I feel I can do is be there to catch them when they fall, but to support and discuss when they ask for help, as you obviously have done with yours, OP.
As a matter of interest, of my 5 closest school friends, several of them are still doing what they set out to do (lawyer, journalist, nurse), two are not. I'm in a related field that I didn't know existed when I was choosing - there are degrees in it now, and it is what I would have chosen. My parents couldn't possibly have advised about it though.


Last edited by scary mum on Thu May 01, 2014 10:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 10:17 am 
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As a careers adviser, I would support those that have said support them to find out information, try out work experience, learn to fail (picking them up when they try something that doesn't turn out as expected), encourage them to gain a work ethic, regardless of the vocational area (even a Saturday job in a supermarket gives them skills they will never learn at school), but don't ever impose your will or way on them - even about going to uni or not - it has to be their choice and their decision.

Whatever area you are in, there should be a careers advice service running - it has been called the Connexions Service in the past and the County Council should know who has a contract to give advice in your area. It used to be free at point of access (in schools or in a central office) but I cannot guarantee that any more as the govt, in their wisdom decided Careers Advisers weren't needed - I notice they are now saying again that good careers advice is one of the key features denying our young people proper access to future careers and it needs to be reintroduced...no sh*t Sherlock...!!

As a parent, your role is to support but I would always recommend getting impartial (not from anyone involved with the school, unless they are an outside agency coming in) independent advice from someone else, where you are not present, so your child can speak freely about their ideas, aims and ambitions. As south bucks rightly says, success is measured in many different ways. If an individual feels fulfilled, happy and secure and that they are making a difference, even if they are living hand to mouth, who is to say that they are worse off than a stressed out CEO of a FTSE100 company?


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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 10:35 am 
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It all starts big for the kids, they are full of dreams and imagination where the sky is the limit, but then comes the harsh reality of life and they become disillusioned, see that their choices and opportunities in life are limited.
I am beginning to think that grammar school can have little effect on their final success in life, that it is their personality, their creativity that will ultimately grant them success or lack of it. I see my children at this stage of life are so naive that i worry life will teach them that to have the talent is one thng, but to know how to make the right choices is even more important.


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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 10:54 am 
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Well, what are their favourite subjects? At school? Extracurricular? It's one place to start.


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