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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:01 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:11 pm
Posts: 66
hi fellow members, i need your help.

inspite of doing very light work on the day before exam and sleeping for at least 11 hours on the night before exam day, and appearing absolutely calm and relaxed before exams, why does my child feel nauseous and suffer from headache during eleven plus exam and feels like running away from the exam hall. these are all from his own words and this is happening in all exams.

he does not apparently appear to have any health issue. i am worried about his health and future life as he has to write lot of exams. just to let you know he is one of the oldest for eleven plus exams - he is 11. and also i m sure these symptoms would have obstructed/impacted his ability to perform to his best potential.

i have trained him a lot for these exams and encouraged him. he is v bright and also i never told him that it is 'do or die' situation. i told him not to worry about results and not getting into a grammar school is absolutely fine and not end of the world.

he wrote lot of mock exams too. although he used to be anxious about/before them and very tired after them, he never reported any headaches or nauseous feeling during the mock exams.

does anyone else face this? i am quite worried. please help. thanks in advance. :cry:


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:15 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:56 pm
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Please can you explain more clearly. How many exams has he sat? Exactly when did the headache and nausea occur - before, during, afterwards etc. How bad was the headache and nausea? Do you know if it has affected his performance or not?

Has he sat exams on different days / different weeks? Did he feel well in between?


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:16 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:21 pm
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This is anxiety.

Although you have told him it's not 'do or die' you say:

Quote:
i have trained him a lot for these exams


Quote:
he wrote lot of mock exams


Both of these statements say the contrary to him; he knows the 'real ones' matter.

I would cut down on any further prep and lots of relaxation; he has to believe ' not qualifying won't mean I'm not loved'.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:22 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:56 pm
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Yes, it could be anxiety, but without more detail it really is not clear. There are some contradictory statements in the post.

Also, a lot of children (and adults) do have exam / performance nerves, whatever you like to call it. There isn't always an easy solution. And it can happen in any child, prepared or not, with a parent who cares about the result or not. This is why a lot of parents and children choose not to do exams.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:30 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:11 pm
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thanks for your responses folks...

he has written 3 exams and2 more to write. large number of exams as there are no grammar schools in our borough and we can move home if required. exams were on different days, at intervals of 1-2-3 days. so do u suggest we stop revising with him for the next two exams? he feels these symptoms only 'during' exams. not at all before. after exam also he said he did not feel hungry.

he is absolutely fine except for 'during' the exam.

i only worry that he may forget maths formulae if we do not revise. we do just one hour work on the day before exam. by 6.30 pm the revision is over.

am i right that these health symptoms would have hampered his performance? thanks


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:48 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:56 pm
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No, they may not have hampered his performance. It may just be the way he interprets "the jitters" that some people get in real exams. Some people do fabulously well while feeling terribly nervous, and some very laid back people score almost zero.

If the headache has gone straight after the exam it can't really be a thumper of a headache brought on by tension etc - it's maybe nerves during the exam itself. Maybe he needs to eat some sweets and have some sips of water straight before it starts.

Interesting he doesn't feel awful beforehand too. Can he eat breakfast on exam days?

Or maybe he's telling you this as he's worried he hasn't done well enough and he wants you to feel there is a physical reason for it.

Are his exam clothes comfortable when he is sitting down?

It won't necessarily make much difference if you revised the day before or not. Go with your instincts. Some kids are better with complete distraction and rest from work for days / weeks beforehand, others feel happier knowing they've crammed a bit the day before.

My child suddenly got worried the week before the exam and she's never really been particularly concerned about tests etc before that.

I used to have exam nerves. Then I had a period of doing so many exams they got thoroughly boring and I started to lose concentration during them. We're all different and we keep on changing. It doesn't mean he'll hate them next year.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:59 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:41 am
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Location: Essex
Aside from the issue of how many 'mathematical formulae' there are to remember for the average 11+ exam, may I be just a bit brutal and wonder how you think the poor lad is likely to fare in a school for the academically most able, if you are so worried about him forgetting such vital elements if they are not drummed into him every day?

If your DS is bright in the first place, I suspect that you are worrying over nothing, and agree with other posters that although you say you are telling him that passing even one of all these exams isn't such a big deal, the very fact that you are sending him here there and everywhere to take them - not to mention multiple mocks - says otherwise pretty clearly.

Perhaps you could ask him if there is anything that he would like to have a brief last look at, if you really can't bear the thought of a couple of days without...

Incidentally, how does your DS feel about the possibility that the result of all this exam-taking will be that the family will be uprooted and moved away from his current home and friends, or do you not feel particularly tied to the area / community you live in?

_________________
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.Groucho Marx


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 2:03 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:11 pm
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Thanks a lot for your advice @Mystery. I am sure the headache goes after exam as in one exam he said that he had headache and nauseous during first session and not during second session of that exam. I have decided not to even revise now. i also think he is fatigued and nervous. Also I will try sweets. I already feel better. The problem I think is that if I do not revise and tell him to be laid back, he may not try his best during exam. He has done that in mock. In one mock he ranked in top ten and in the following mock he ranked 200th. so i am struggling to find balance and bring out the best in him. i am trying out different approaches. thanks again.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 2:17 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 9:54 am
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He needs to wind down a bit

mentor ma wrote:
thanks for your responses folks...

he has written 3 exams and2 more to write. large number of exams as there are no thanks


This is quite a lot of exams and I will do nothing in between these exams.

mentor ma wrote:
thanks for your responses folks...

so do u suggest we stop revising with him for the next two exams? he feels these symptoms only 'during' exams. not at all before. after exam also he said he did not feel hungry.

thanks


Yes stop all revision, or do one every other day. The headaches could be a build up of anxiety and only shows during the exams. To minimise the build up they will need to wind down.

mentor ma wrote:
thanks for your responses folks...


i only worry that he may forget maths formulae if we do not revise. we do just one hour work on the day before exam. by 6.30 pm the revision is over.

am i right that these health symptoms would have hampered his performance? thanks

Do you have any evidence that he forgets formulae? and which ones are these?

11+ is not about remembering formulae, its more about finding answers logically.

To minimise these symptoms you may have to relax one full day without any revision (especially one day before the exams)


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 2:19 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:11 pm
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@ToadMum, thanks for your concern. we will not be moving to extremes, just few miles away to make commute easier so we will not lose touch with our friends. also we need bigger house so house move is anyway a desired option. @Motion, thanks. i will follow this advice.


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