Tiger parenting for the 11+

[Stroller]

Was SPGS your preferred choice all along though, and the one school locally where you thought that your dd would thrive, or did you have a range of good "back-ups"? Are you going to be disappointed if she doesn't get in? Perhaps the issue of how important the "goal" is must also come into the equation.

That's a fair point. No, we don't view any of this stuff as life or death and we haven't thrust all our eggs into any one basket. Our problem is that where we live, we are not highly ranked by any of the admissions criteria used by local schools (looked after / faith / sibling already there / proximity, etc). Our nearest comps range across more than one borough, and none is ranked outstanding, but they would be fine. Probably not dissimilar to DD's primary school. With the local demographics and dearth of secondary provision by the state though, there's a real danger that we will be at the bottom of everyone's list except - potentially - for super selectives.

FWIW DD is capable of thriving in either kind of school. She found the girls she met at the various indie days friendly and funny, so I think she would be okay with that transition from state too.

Having a choice would be a fortunate position to be in. We'd be grateful for some kind of certainty, but I don't think we'll be truly devastated unless we're left without a place [which happened to us previously, hence the concern].

[LostInTheShuffle]

I think I have already told the story on here about the girl my daughter first met at the Sutton mock whose family had given her a kitten. If she didn't pass the Tiffin Girls exam the kitten was going to be taken away. She was being subjected to a regime of a large number of hours' preparation a day. She didn't pass. Poor little thing. Another case for Childline I think.

That sounds so cruel, even if it was meant as a joke (which I hope it was).

[Peridot]

No it wasn't! My daughter was really shocked that someone could do that to a ten-year old.

[Mittleme]

Amazing .

6-7hrs of work every day? how is that possible please?

From the time a

child gets back from school to the child going to bed at night , i cannot even count up to 7 hrs ?

[reader88]

In a 2013 half-term DD had a plan to do 4 papers a day, after one of my colleagues said her DD studied 5 hours a day. The plan failed badly - after 1-1.5 hours DD's concentration gone. I was amazed at the creative mistakes she made. Having tried a couple times to put extra hours so that DD could "record" those mistakes, we both felt exhausted and ineffective.

There is another way - we decided to just make the best use of her 1-hour focus. Miraculously many foolish mistakes disappeared. Encouraged by better results, DD became more engaged in study, she timed a test herself, checked results by her own and noted down her errors. By the end of 2013 I observed a steady progress on all four subjects - English, Maths, VR and NVR.

Learning is related with age. At age of 10, her concentration period was extended to 2-3 hours, and some difficult subject became easier. Comprehension and Creative Writing are examples. We have no tutor and English is my third language. Her progress wasn't apparent till Nov. 2014. I guess partially due to the fact she was more mature and could appreciate more on implicit reference etc.

At school time DD studied 0.5-1 hour per day, including weekend; During summer, 2-3 hours max. I guess she might do much more hours than her classmates, but significantly less than some DD/DS here. The question is what value would be to inspire a kid to do more hours when his/her brain is shut down by nature?

DD passed Kent, Bexley and Newstead Wood tests with flying colors, went through HBS round 1 and sat in round 2, and was invited for an interview in SPGS and CLSG. I am wondering whether she could achieve all these if pressed to study for 5-6 hour. She could still work on her creative mistakes!

[ToadMum]

No it wasn't! My daughter was really shocked that someone could do that to a ten-year old.

Not to mention the parents' attitude towards animals...

[tiffinboys]

6 to 7 hours of study each day in tgecsummer holidays is not uncommon such is the fierce competition for success

sbarnes - I would say that IS very uncommon - I don't know anyone that would subject their child to this regime.

When DC was preparing for the entrance tests, we did come across some summer intensive courses, 3 hours before Lunch break (VR/NVR) and optional 3 hours afternoon (English/Maths) - 4 days a weeks. Home work on top of that. The courses were running to their full capacity. We were lucky - the dates and timings didn't suit us. We went on weeks holiday, with just couple of books to read.

I can still see some intensive courses being advertised locally and on net for 3.5 to 4 hours a day, 5 days a week, with home work. Add parents enforced regimes of one to 2 practice papers extra. Much more than 6 hours a day during summer break, just before the entrance tests.

You can also see some tuition centres and newspaper adding to the parents fear. One tuition centre with branches all over London is famous for appearing in London Evening papers just on or after the national allocation day.

[LostInTheShuffle]

Learning is related with age...Her progress wasn't apparent till Nov. 2014. I guess partially due to the fact she was more mature and could appreciate more on implicit reference etc.

We had a similar experience with our DD. She would plateau for a period of time and then make a leap in progress, which we attributed to her mind maturing with age (more capable of processing materials that she previously found challenging).

I know it may sound crazy or even irresponsible but we decided not to teach her certain topics or approaches to solving certain types of problems because we wanted her to be able to cope with surprises on an exam. Our concern was that if she got into a school because she was over-prepared and then struggled, she might be miserable through no fault of her own (more precisely, her parents would be at fault). Instead, we focused on building a strong understanding of the basics - this applied to both maths (eg, focusing not on memorising formulas but understanding the fundamental concepts) and English (eg, helping her to better communicate her thinking but not introducing higher-order analysis that would be beyond her mind's processing capacity).

[Jules7]

I think I have already told the story on here about the girl my daughter first met at the Sutton mock whose family had given her a kitten. If she didn't pass the Tiffin Girls exam the kitten was going to be taken away. She was being subjected to a regime of a large number of hours' preparation a day. She didn't pass. Poor little thing. Another case for Childline I think.

I am so shocked at this. Cruelty on two levels - to the child and the animal. I can't understand the mentality of parents who would even consider this.

[sonasona]

Do what you feel is best for your child. Each child is different and needs to prepare for their targeted schools appropriately.

Competition in most areas is intense and the majority of parents are doing a lot more with their children then they tell you about!