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PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 10:51 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:07 pm
Posts: 2660
Dear ALL

This is carrying on from the thread 11 plus results...I believe some parents are merely playing with words....saying ' my child received no tuition and they still passed.'

The word tutor in its basic form means to give instruction.....that instruction can be given by a Private individual OR a Parent.

I firmly believe that a child cannot pass the 11 plus without some form of tutoring [ I concede it can happen, but its not the norm ]

As individuals we have to make a decision whether to buy someone in or go it alone [DIY]......but guests should not condemn others for going down that private route, should they so wish [ its a personal decision].....some parents enjoy the parent /child bonding......others say it just causes arguments

One of my main reasons for posting on this site is to help those who wish to TUTOR their own children.

Patricia


Last edited by patricia on Tue Apr 04, 2006 7:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 11:12 am 
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Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2005 10:30 am
Posts: 182
Dear Patricia,

Of course we get into semantics here and it depends what people understand by 'having a tutor'. Most, I think, interpret that as a private tutor. I agree completely that few, if any, would get through here (N London) without help. I have two major concerns with private tutors. First, whilst they can be a huge help, a considerable number (I think) are pretty useless. Establishing which camp they're in can take valuable time and knowing a good tutor is greatly prized information. Second, I have only been prepared to take so much time out of my kids' weekends to help prepare for tests and this pretty much amounted to the time it would take to ferry them to/from a good tutor. Too much time devoted to preparation racks up the pressure on kids considerably and, moreover, the emotional penalty for 'failure' too.
Finally, going through the process with the child yourself can be gruelling, but ultimately, very rewarding.

For what it's worth, I've no doubt the tutors on this site (yourself included) are extremely good.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 12:48 pm 
Hi
My child passed and got 98%

She did 12 familiarisation papers

yes I talked her through ones she got incorrect, and explained how they were done.

I alsotold her not to waste time on questions if she wasn't sure of them and move to others first
Only 4 of them were the NFER ones with multiple choice
The other 8 were 100 questions no multiple choice ( given by the school)

That said, I have always discussed and encouraged things of academic nature with my child so her knowledge is expansive.

I must admit. I was rather shocked by her result. But very pleased obviously


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 2:13 pm 
Ditto james and guest. Totally agree with you both. I have not had my children coached to pass the 11+. I decided to do some work with them at home myself. By buying books and papers from this site and a few from W H Smith. We didn't religiously go through the books start to finish, but picked out a few topics that they needed help with. From October half-term we did a few vr papers and then went over any points they were getting wrong. I tended to be the same type questions reoccuring.

We went into the exam with a very relaxed attitude. No pressure, no big expectations. We put the Chelmsford Grammers first, then the Westcliff grammers (generally you can get into Westcliff with a lower pass then Chelmsford Grammers). But realistically were expecting our third choice school, which we would have been really please with. to our amazement our child was offerred KEGS (Chelmsford). We were very surprise. I definately think the relaxed attitude helped. Some of my sons friends were so pressured by their families, they had been having tutoring for the past year and now they have not got their first choice they feel failures.

I couldn't afford to pay a private tutor, nor would I agree to paying a private tutor to pass an exam. These children are going to have to cope in Grammer, they will have to cope with GCSE's, A's and possibly Uni. You cannot coach your child through life.

In Chelmsford we have one rather populare tutor. He boasts 80-90% pass rate of a Grammer place. He charges £26 per hour, each session lasts one and a half to two hours and coaches in groups of 6-10. However, to have the honour of him coaching your child you have to pay £170 for him to assess your child. He only takes on the very capable and you have to ask yourself, would these chilcren have passed anyway. they then have to agree to give up all other activities for that year otherwise he will not take them on. No scouts, guides, dancing, football, music, clubs etc. He says they must be fully focused. from Summer holidays onwards he sees your child 5 times a week. Can you imagine after all this, the childs disappointment if they don't get their first choice school?


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 2:20 pm 
On this thread, can I join in and say that I have a child currently in year 4 who I shall put foward for 11plus. I came across this website by accident and it has frightened the life out of me re: tutoring. I took 11plus as child, passed and was never aware of tutoring or pressure. I have been staggered by lengths to which people, quite understandably, go to in order to secure place for child. I am now unsure how many children at my child's present school have passed 11plus through natural talent, school help or private tutors. It is not something that is openly discussed and I now fee I shall have to join the "group". I would like to tutor/prepare my child myself, but like most parents if we don't succeed at 11plus, we cannot afford independent and alternatives are not really alternatives. Any advice? We will shortly be moving to Kent to enable us to apply for 11plus.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 3:08 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:07 pm
Posts: 2660
Dear Unsure

The decision whether to Tutor your child yourself or buy someone in, is totally down to you and your child.

James, guest and Essex mum all tutored their own children with some good results [ and so did alot of other parents], but if you feel its not for you then no one should condemn you for your opinion/decision.

If you want to do it yourself.....do your homework, find out who publishes your areas tests, is it VR/NVR/English/Maths is it standard form or multiple choice. There is a section on Kent...look at the posts. In addition there is a section on the main website.....although there was a dispute whether it was the correct information...under the SATs section of this forum. Just go out and ask questions [ My fathers favourite saying....' you dont get, if you dont ask! '] Ask parents/tutors/schools/.

Should you wish to employ someone [ its YOUR choice remember] again do your homework, as the above have stated their are some HORROR stories about. You need to find out the details I have mentioned above first.....then see if the tutor is giving the right advice, if not.....move on. Some tutors will come personally recommended [ always a good sign].

At the end of the day its your choice, we [ parents and tutors posting on this forum ] can only offer advice .....you have to make the decision that is right for you.

Patricia


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 4:34 pm 
Hi, My son has just got through the Bucks system on Appeal after missing the 'pass' mark by a few - he is also a December birthday. I had no idea about the 11+ as both my husband and myself lived in an area where grammars did not exsist. I had my son 'tutored' by an ex year 6 teacher who came recommended. He had his 'lesson' with a friend ( as advised by the tutor) who said that some children find it too intimidating on a one to one basis and there would also be someone there to make it more 'fun' and to share things with. He probably had about 4 mths worth of tuition, 1 hr a week. This suited my son very well. I truly believe that the 11+ is such a unique test and cannot be compared with any 'normal' learning undertaken at school that some form of tuituon is definately needed. At my sons school 14 passed out of the 90 or so children that took the exam and i know for a fact that at least 7 were tutored. Every child is different and you as their parent know them best and what might work for them.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 6:18 pm 
I actually also think that being prepared for the 11 plus can be in many ways to do with parent attitude all through life.

I am not in any way insinuating anyone here is like this, but a friend of mine goes to work to send her child to a private school which boasts a 99% 11 plus pass rate, They do papers from year 3!!!
This means she can ward all responsibilty onto the school ( who have to honour their pledge and are pushing the children regardless of their ability) and rarely sees her child. She works all week, gets someone to collect him from school, and goes out several times a week.
I on the other hand gave up work when I had mine, ( and no we're not well off; my hubby earns a pittance!) and I have always talked to them discussed things with them, read with them make up stories with them, taken them for walks, let them see much of life and nature, and i find my children knows far more general things than many their age just through this. I have always believed children learn best when they are having fun and when at home, that is how my kids have learned things.

I think to coach from year 3 is ridiculous.

as someone above said, they need to pass GCSEs A levels etc and if they need copious amounts of coaching to pass the 11 plus they will struggle with future exams.
Once at grammar school they will feel under pressure to match the performances of their peers.

My friend wants her son to pass the 11 plus and go to grammar school for one reason! She is a snob lmao

I am pleased my daughter got the school she wanted ( which isnt the main grammar school I might add. With 98% pass she would have got it, but we preferred the less regimented and more friendly, homely local grammar, and that was our reason for choosing it. Its good christian ethos, excellent reputation and anti bullying policy, not because it was a grammar school. We'd have chosen it had it been a nomal comp.) but she wasnt pushed to pass, and we are proud of her for being her.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 8:54 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 3:47 pm
Posts: 1348
Location: Berks,Bucks
Hi Guest,

Totally disagree with you on tutoring! All the children I know who have passed the 11+ had been tutored, some very heavily. Clever children who were not tutored, did not pass.
What chance does a child who isn't tutored have if everyone else has more practice? Only very few exceptional children will get through!

And, like Patricia, I wouldn't make a difference between a child being prepared by a parent and by a tutor. Any child who received some help with preparing has been coached somehow!


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 9:15 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:10 pm
Posts: 8201
Location: Buckinghamshire
Patricia

Thank you for moving this discussion to a new thread. I really felt it was unhelpful for "Totally Distraught" to be reading about other children getting marks of 98%, when her child has just failed the 11+.

Sally-Anne


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