Educating a footballer!
Moderators: Section Moderators, Forum Moderators
-
jazzteddy
re: bad dads last post
Your post here echoes what many know to be true but are afraid to say. I do believe that this site is very informative and usefull, but often worry that many parents could be pushing their children too hard, towards the 11 plus. Undoubtedly there is a lot to be said in favour of a grammar school education, but should we pursue this at all costs...After all even a child who has been top of their class in year 6 will find that the endless homework does take up so much of their time, then there are the longer travel times they have to get used to.
My eldest son was always top in class but wanted to go on to secondary school with his other friends, he was not brave enough to sit the 11 plus.
He did however regret his lack of confidence and always wished he had been brave enough to sit the test. He left school with 11 GCSE's mostly grade A's, did his A levels and is now in his final year at uni. Would he have done better at grammar, who knows, will it effect his future career, probably not. I am always proud of him in all ways, never pushed him and let him do the choosing and he has turned out great!
Enter son number 2, more confident, outgoing and again a prime grammar candidate. He asked if he could sit the 11 plus, we knew he really wanted to give it a go, so he started practise at home, (around 5 months before the test). he also had 8 lessons with a tutor to give him a few tips and let him know what to expect. He went to the school open day and loved what he saw, so we supported him. We did buy a few books, he mostly did not bother with them, got bored with reading the classics his tutor suggested, we did 4 or 5 old test papers, he only wanted to do the maths! We decided that if he really was the right sort of pupil for a grammar education then his true ability would shine through.
The 11 plus is both an opportunity and an experience in life, after all we dont always make it, but sometimes we do and we learn from that.
Our youngest came home from school today full of smiles, his house had won the first round of tug o war, his 3 man team were triumphant. Yes he is at grammar school, he loves it all, the sport, the choir, latin, the new friends, the whole experience has been right for him. Thats my point really, its not what is right for us (believe me as many are unimpressed as are impressed when he says what school he goes to). All the kudos belongs to him, he sat the test not me, he goes to grammar school, not me, it was his choice. But dont think that i am not proud, because I am, he aimed high and got what he wanted, I do hope that it will continue to be good for him. If the shoe fits...... let them have a go. Finally excuse my typos but i was not brave enough to sit the 11 plus and these newfangled macbook thingys are even harder than operating the dishwasher.
Good luck with everything.
My eldest son was always top in class but wanted to go on to secondary school with his other friends, he was not brave enough to sit the 11 plus.
He did however regret his lack of confidence and always wished he had been brave enough to sit the test. He left school with 11 GCSE's mostly grade A's, did his A levels and is now in his final year at uni. Would he have done better at grammar, who knows, will it effect his future career, probably not. I am always proud of him in all ways, never pushed him and let him do the choosing and he has turned out great!
Enter son number 2, more confident, outgoing and again a prime grammar candidate. He asked if he could sit the 11 plus, we knew he really wanted to give it a go, so he started practise at home, (around 5 months before the test). he also had 8 lessons with a tutor to give him a few tips and let him know what to expect. He went to the school open day and loved what he saw, so we supported him. We did buy a few books, he mostly did not bother with them, got bored with reading the classics his tutor suggested, we did 4 or 5 old test papers, he only wanted to do the maths! We decided that if he really was the right sort of pupil for a grammar education then his true ability would shine through.
The 11 plus is both an opportunity and an experience in life, after all we dont always make it, but sometimes we do and we learn from that.
Our youngest came home from school today full of smiles, his house had won the first round of tug o war, his 3 man team were triumphant. Yes he is at grammar school, he loves it all, the sport, the choir, latin, the new friends, the whole experience has been right for him. Thats my point really, its not what is right for us (believe me as many are unimpressed as are impressed when he says what school he goes to). All the kudos belongs to him, he sat the test not me, he goes to grammar school, not me, it was his choice. But dont think that i am not proud, because I am, he aimed high and got what he wanted, I do hope that it will continue to be good for him. If the shoe fits...... let them have a go. Finally excuse my typos but i was not brave enough to sit the 11 plus and these newfangled macbook thingys are even harder than operating the dishwasher.
Good luck with everything.
-
Guest
Can I throw in something slightly off thread? Drastic Dad, have you checked which are the appropriate 11+ materials for your area? If you pick up the wrong stuff, you can spend a lot of time preparing question types that don't come up, or much worse, you might miss out on question types that do.
Best of luck to you. I'm sure you'll find the right path in the end.
Y
Best of luck to you. I'm sure you'll find the right path in the end.
Y
-
Drastic Dad
- Posts: 138
- Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:14 am
- Location: Middlesex
Lots and lots of different point of views. Thanks all. I went to pick him from his school yesterday and we had a chat. I was shocked by the whole weekend spent on the DS and internet, hence this post and all the moaning. Anyhow, I told him the story of my life (the one mentioned above), about my father not pushing me and my resentment now that I know that I could have done with some guidance from him. I told him categorically that I don't want him to pass his 11+ but I want him to do his best, not only in these exams but in everything in life. Excellence is a way of life and the future will belong to only the people who know how to be good at whatever they do. He seems to understand what I meant. After finishing his work, he started doing his NVR stuff himself without my asking, got 7 out of 10 in the same question that earned him only 4.5 the other day and seemed more enthusiastic. I told him not to worry about the NVR as he had a lot of homework but he forced me to let him do it and print out his question sheet.
As far as sports are concerned, I still think that they are over-rated. All these losers roaming our streets were once sporting heroes till they reached adolescence. Only education teaches you to think about the future and aim high, reach for excellence and above all respect and positively utilise the greatest of all gifts: life. I had a sort of Wordsworthian childhood and had the opportunity to roam hills, climb trees, fish in shallow rivers and climb rocks that ordinary people would not dare approach. Now this is a sporting activity that I have respect for. Total independence to develop one's physical, mental and intellectual capabilities simultaneously.
I work for a huge organisation with 1200 staff and more than 150 work-area managers (apart from the office staff and the higher managerial hierarchy 'upstairs'). Most of the managers worked their way up through the ranks and only some are qualified for the job. You can tell the difference with your eyes closed. Graduates are generally more articulate, sympathetic, clued-up and definitely command more respect from the people who are totally unaware of their background. In a highly unionised environment, it is only these managers who prove themselves more effective repeatedly. One of our bosses is a former 'famous' national athlete and now a coach who coaches athletes in his spare time. He just does not know how to speak to people. Extremely rude, arrogant, ignorant and horrible character, so much so that 400 of my colleagues wrote and signed a petition against him and they had to take him off the shop-floor, promoted him to a higher position where he has absolutely no interaction with staff. But this is just one instance, I must not generalise it but this is my experience. I have spent time, a lot of time at he campus and last 13 years in full time employment. The best people I ever met were at the campus. I supervise people Monday to Thursday and mange my group on Fridays. I believe in leading by example and it works. You have to state the objectives and visibly strive with the team to attain them, giving everybody respect, consideration and above all a smile all along the way. Never had a problem with anybody, one or two issues that arose were dealt with swiftly and honestly. I personally know the background, preferences, problems, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses of every single one of my thirty team mates. People are very interesting only if you invest some time in knowing them properly.
Coming back to my son, I am sure he will be OK. He does not have to pass his 11+, all I want him to do is to give it his best shot, not only this but everything else, including football. I have seen him play, he is good at it and sets up more goals than any other of his team mates, himself scoring as well but prefers to pass it on to the striker in front of the goal. That should sum up his character. He is too nice, too soft and considerate and thoughtful to 'work his way up' (as they say). He needs strong support and only solid education can give that support. There is more beauty in decency, consideration and thoughtfulness than in arrogance and aggression generated by ignorance and myopia.
As far as sports are concerned, I still think that they are over-rated. All these losers roaming our streets were once sporting heroes till they reached adolescence. Only education teaches you to think about the future and aim high, reach for excellence and above all respect and positively utilise the greatest of all gifts: life. I had a sort of Wordsworthian childhood and had the opportunity to roam hills, climb trees, fish in shallow rivers and climb rocks that ordinary people would not dare approach. Now this is a sporting activity that I have respect for. Total independence to develop one's physical, mental and intellectual capabilities simultaneously.
I work for a huge organisation with 1200 staff and more than 150 work-area managers (apart from the office staff and the higher managerial hierarchy 'upstairs'). Most of the managers worked their way up through the ranks and only some are qualified for the job. You can tell the difference with your eyes closed. Graduates are generally more articulate, sympathetic, clued-up and definitely command more respect from the people who are totally unaware of their background. In a highly unionised environment, it is only these managers who prove themselves more effective repeatedly. One of our bosses is a former 'famous' national athlete and now a coach who coaches athletes in his spare time. He just does not know how to speak to people. Extremely rude, arrogant, ignorant and horrible character, so much so that 400 of my colleagues wrote and signed a petition against him and they had to take him off the shop-floor, promoted him to a higher position where he has absolutely no interaction with staff. But this is just one instance, I must not generalise it but this is my experience. I have spent time, a lot of time at he campus and last 13 years in full time employment. The best people I ever met were at the campus. I supervise people Monday to Thursday and mange my group on Fridays. I believe in leading by example and it works. You have to state the objectives and visibly strive with the team to attain them, giving everybody respect, consideration and above all a smile all along the way. Never had a problem with anybody, one or two issues that arose were dealt with swiftly and honestly. I personally know the background, preferences, problems, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses of every single one of my thirty team mates. People are very interesting only if you invest some time in knowing them properly.
Coming back to my son, I am sure he will be OK. He does not have to pass his 11+, all I want him to do is to give it his best shot, not only this but everything else, including football. I have seen him play, he is good at it and sets up more goals than any other of his team mates, himself scoring as well but prefers to pass it on to the striker in front of the goal. That should sum up his character. He is too nice, too soft and considerate and thoughtful to 'work his way up' (as they say). He needs strong support and only solid education can give that support. There is more beauty in decency, consideration and thoughtfulness than in arrogance and aggression generated by ignorance and myopia.
-
Drastic Dad
- Posts: 138
- Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:14 am
- Location: Middlesex
How do you find these details? Thanks for the heads up.Anonymous wrote:Can I throw in something slightly off thread? Drastic Dad, have you checked which are the appropriate 11+ materials for your area? If you pick up the wrong stuff, you can spend a lot of time preparing question types that don't come up, or much worse, you might miss out on question types that do.
Best of luck to you. I'm sure you'll find the right path in the end.
Y
-
Guest
First off, have a trawl through the relevant local forums on this site. It is probably discussed ad nauseam on the Bucks/ Berks/ Surrey sections. If in doubt call the LEA. Most are pretty helpful. Also check whether they publish anything online; Links are likely to be found on the county websites. Some schools also hand out info at their open evenings and/ or over the phone. I'm sure that you can make a few anonymous enquiries if you are worried about seeming "pushy".
-
Drastic Dad
- Posts: 138
- Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:14 am
- Location: Middlesex
Thanks a lot, will do all this. Thanks a lot. Very helpful posts indeed.Anonymous wrote:First off, have a trawl through the relevant local forums on this site. It is probably discussed ad nauseam on the Bucks/ Berks/ Surrey sections. If in doubt call the LEA. Most are pretty helpful. Also check whether they publish anything online; Links are likely to be found on the county websites. Some schools also hand out info at their open evenings and/ or over the phone. I'm sure that you can make a few anonymous enquiries if you are worried about seeming "pushy".
