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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 12:14 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 11:50 pm
Posts: 4
Dear All

Just found this forum which is great.Its the only thing thats keeping me going at the moment.

My daughter sat the 11+ on Saturday and burst into tears when I collected her saying that it was awful and she had to guess so many answers because she got the timing so wrong.I have to say we`ve had better weekends.

I thought it was going to be such a relief when it was all over but its even worse!

Very difficult to analyse where she went wrong .
Any tips or words of encouragement would be great.Now becoming an expert on appeals process and 12+option or should we just take it on the chin come March?

Daughter and Wife now stopped crying.

Cheers

One Tired Dad


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 12:25 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 4083
Hi, One Tired Dad.

How about you just keep hugging her ( and Wife) for the moment and te11 her you are so pleased that she sat the exams. It doesn't matter now if for whatever reason things went pear-shaped. It can happen to anybody at any time. You are not cro55 with her.

I don't know which area you are in but I remember looking at the Appeals Sections every single day ti11 March (a11ocation Day)after my child sat his exam because although he seemed confident, we would never know until the actual day of reckoning if a11 went OK at the tests.

You can't do anything now about the test but if it is as bad as you think, then prepare for the worst. That way, it give you some strength to cope with anything on National A11ocation Day.

Take them out at the weekend for a treat and you try to relax as we11....that way, your daughter wi11 feel that she hasn't 'failed' you and her mum by not doing the test we11. She knows you love her a11 the same.

Sleep tight.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 12:52 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 11:50 pm
Posts: 4
Hi LBSWM

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement.

I`ve done most of the things you`ve suggested and I know we will just soldier on until the big day in March.

Took the whole family out for Sunday Lunch which they enjoyed

Very expensive weekend let alone the amount of money I`ve invested in Kleenex tissues.

Many thanks once again

Tired Dad


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 1:09 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 4083
We11 Done, One Tired Dad,

Money we11 spent!

From now ti11 March, keep busy, keep warm, enjoy the Christmas Holidays and keep a11 distracted.

You can always come here for a chat when the womenfolk lose the plot...we do that quite a bit. You are their HERO (Super Dad and maybe even Santa) so keep their chins up. I do this a11 the time when things go awry, " I am the parent, I am the parent, I am the parent"..

It wears me out sometimes but it has to be done.

Hope you are not TIRED when you next post.

Best Wishes or should it be Good Morning....


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 Post subject: Little Miss Sunshine
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 5:53 am 
In the movieLittle Miss Sunshine, grandpa says to the little girl... losing is not about winning the contest but not participating.

In the end it does not matter who won it, but your daughter did it, thats what it matters.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 8:18 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:10 pm
Posts: 8204
Location: Buckinghamshire
Wilson...come back wrote:
Any tips or words of encouragement would be great.Now becoming an expert on appeals process and 12+option or should we just take it on the chin come March?


Hi Tired Dad

I'm really sorry to hear that all the ladies in your life are falling apart. We tend to do that over things like exams, stress, burnt puddings, trousers that don't fit, a brand new wrinkle ...! :roll:

More seriously, I'm glad that they have stopped crying now - all the advice you have had so far is very good, so I won't repeat it.

The one caution I wanted to post is that you do need to check that the 12+ exists in your area. Bucks still has it, although it is something of a throwback to a bygone age, but we are quite unusual.

Try posting on the section for your County to check.

Good luck - and why "Wilson ... come back"? :lol:

Sally-Anne


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 11:12 am 
Wilson...come back wrote:
Dear All

Just found this forum which is great.Its the only thing thats keeping me going at the moment.

My daughter sat the 11+ on Saturday and burst into tears when I collected her saying that it was awful and she had to guess so many answers because she got the timing so wrong.I have to say we`ve had better weekends.

I thought it was going to be such a relief when it was all over but its even worse!

Very difficult to analyse where she went wrong .
Any tips or words of encouragement would be great.Now becoming an expert on appeals process and 12+option or should we just take it on the chin come March?

Daughter and Wife now stopped crying.

Cheers

One Tired Dad


Poor dad! If you are in an area where you have all ability comps (not everywhere does I know) get her into one of those. It is not too late to change your LEA preference form, or shouldn't be. My daughter transferred to a grammar school at 14, having been at a brilliant comp in another part of the country, and just fell apart. Not for academic reasons as she was acknowledged to be in the top 2% of her age group and could cope perfectly easily with the work, but because the teaching wasn't as good and the personal interest in her wasn't there. She left asap and has never taken A Levels. I would always choose a really good comp over even the highest achieving grammar, so I hope you have one available to you. These schools have to be the best because they have to engage all children, not just those that are naturally interested. :D Hope this helps you. BTW she may have done perfectly fine with her guesses!!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 2:15 pm 
My daughter did her exam a couple of weeks ago - she was full of confidence and had done well in practice papers but on the day her timing went and she didn't finish the paper. Well, as you can imagine we didn't hold out much hope especially as lots of her friends finished and came out saying how easy it was! Guess what, we got the results last Friday and she passed! So please please don't give up! You never know!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 3:09 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2007 3:15 pm
Posts: 78
Hi Tired Dad

I really feel for you and your family. I think these exams put a massive strain on our young children and on families. As Little Miss Sunshine said, we all need to be so proud of our children just for sitting the 11+ or selective exams, regardless of the outcome. There's not much point in advising you to try and forget it until March because it's impossible - although you will hopefully find that your daughter may gradually not think about it after a while.
All the best to you and your family.
abcdef
P.S. I believe your "Wilson...come back" name refers to Tom Hanks' basketball friend in Cast Away. Brilliant film - we could all do with a Wilson!!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 3:48 pm 
Hi Tired Dad

I just typed a really long reply and then lost it!!

Are you in Essex? I ask because if so, a lot of the children seem to have had to leave out / guess some of the answers to the VR paper so your daughter is not alone. The number my daughter had to guess varies each time she mentions it to someone else - anywhere between 3 and 12 PLUS the 2 she left out completely (as she keeps reminding me!) I've just had to stop listening otherwise I'll be constantly fretting until March (as if i won't be anyway!)

I'm just trying to instill into her that I am incredibly proud of her for giving it a go and trying her best. If she gets in we will be thrilled, but if she doesn't (not because she's failed but because other children just had a better day than her on Saturday) and she goes to the local comprehensive, then it will be very, very lucky to get her.

I can only imagine how you must have felt when your daughter came out crying. The atmosphere was so tense waiting for them and for that to happen is your worst nightmare. My husband didn't even come back with me to collect our daughter because he found dropping her off so stressful (wimp!)

As the others have said, these exams put massive pressure on our children but they are incredibly resilient and can cope with most things. I suspect that in some ways the biggest pressure on them is the fear of disappointing us parents and we can do something about that by reassuring them that we love them and are proud of them regardless of what the outcome of this one exam is. Perhaps if passing the 11+ doesn't appear to be "the be all and end all" to us, then it is less likely to be so for them. I'm still secretly addicted to this forum though - I'm even considering joining rehab!!


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