I am not anti parents doing what they think is best for their children - but I think I have the right - don't I? - to question them about their decisions.
You have exactly the same right to question other parents as I have the right to question you about your decisions regarding secondary education.
You do however (and I'm sure its not intentional) often very aggressive in the way that you ask your questions. You clearly have principles (a good thing) but as you have stated yourself cannot necessarily follow them through
And I wish that my principles were strong enough to send my daughter to our nearest secondary school - but to my shame they aren't
My point is this. I am not sure it is fair to be hyper critical of parents who do not fall in the perfect parent mould (be it tutoring, worry about homework or many of the other things that bug us as parents in what seems to be an increasingly high pressured world) if you are not able to follow your conscience and principles for whatever reason to the letter yourself. This is purely an observation and it may well be that I have completely misconstrued your point.