Go to navigation
It is currently Tue Dec 06, 2016 4:04 pm

All times are UTC




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 73 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 8  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Not Pushing children
PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 11:46 pm 
I wonder how many parents with children who have passed the eleven plus can say that they didn't have their precious children tutored, or now find themselves checking their homework and making them change it to read correctly?

I know I can... I let my children be who they are and I can truly; honestly say that with my hand on my heart. No tutoring ever, no homework help unless asked, and then not giving answers, but guidance on how to achieve the required equation.

Grammar schools would be a more equal playing field if parents backed off and only helped the child when and if asked for guidance, at the same time being very much less controlling.

Children I believe never fear failing the 11+ or gaining the mark required acceptable for any exam, they fear the disappointment that parent will feel is not acceptable... such pressure, but still parents cover it with so many excuses...


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:01 am 
if you have the time, type in HOMEWORK, TUTORING, EQUAL PLAYING FIELD, PRESSURE, STRESS or any of the points in your post, you will find hundreds and hundreds of posts discussing your views.

It seems there are many who have gone through the hand wringing and the aggro of worrying about their precious children, their 11+ and their schooling.

Happy reading.


Top
  
 
 Post subject: Re: Not Pushing children
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:02 am 
Anonymous wrote:
I know I can... I let my children be who they are and I can truly; honestly say that with my hand on my heart. No tutoring ever, no homework help unless asked, and then not giving answers, but guidance on how to achieve the required equation.


Well aren't you a saint, then!


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 11:09 am 
your views sound very honourable,I have different ones; my son, was at the top of his class at primary school,was very bright and keen to work hard, had no tutoring to get into Pates (we didn't know then that people did this!) He was on the waiting list, and, thankfully got in.He has thrived and is now in year 11. We also have a daughter, who is as bright as her brother and was desperate to join him,she has the same urge to work hard and achieve her best,(no pushing needed or given) did we have her tutored? damn right we did. We are a "normal" family,no high income here! but felt a duty to give her the very best chance to get in, as we have always felt that we let our son down. However bright kids are, they have to learn the techniques to answer the questions.We didn't want her to have the torture of waiting that my son suffered. I didn't "push " her but have always talked to her,sung with her and read with her,both children have had my time,help and encouragement,and will continue to do so.If i could have helped her to learn the skills she needed,I would have,she still needed to perform on the day.


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:17 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:30 pm
Posts: 960
Maybe your son wouldn't have had the "torture of waiting" if it hadn't been made so important that he got into a particular school? I don't think 10 year olds are really that concerned about what school they go to - it's us paretns who worry about it. And a good thing too - I don't want my daughter thinking that she is somehow better than her friends becasue she got into grammar school and they didn't. ANd if she hadn't got into grammar school, then I sure as **** wouldn't want her thinking she wasn't as good as her friends who did!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:19 pm 
Quote:
I don't think 10 year olds are really that concerned about what school they go to - it's us paretns who worry about it.


Sorry I think you're wrong. We looked around secondary schools in our area and my son chose his favourite school which happens to be really tough grammar. He really wants this school as he thinks it is 'in a different league to the others'. we have never said this and never made it seem like the most important thing in the world. If he goes to the decent comp round the corner thats fine by us. He had a tutor (he wanted it and we looked for one that has a good pass rate for the chosen school) and he loves every minute of it. Quote; Mum my sessions with ........ are so much better than school I learn so much , can I continue to go to her after I have finished my exams'. The answer to which unfortunately is no purely from a cost perspective. Some children really do have inner drive and enthusiasm. His siblings are not like that at all (oldest wanted to go to the local school and thats just fine by us) and we don't treat them differently.

Just out of interest Katel why did you send your daughter to a grammar? I have read your other posts and you just seem to be so anti the school system and anti homework and anti parents who chose to do what they feel is the best for their children. If you don't like it why did you join in with 'the system'?


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:32 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:30 pm
Posts: 960
I am anti the system - I think it stinks. But I am very pro education. And because I live in an area where the non selective schools have been badly damaged by the selective system I accept that my daughter will get a better education at the grammar school. I wish this was not so. And I wish that my principles were strong enough to send my daughter to our nearest secondary school - but to my shame they aren't

I am anti homework because no one has proved to me that it has any educational advantage at all.

I am not anti parents doing what they think is best for their children - but I think I have the right - don't I? - to question them about their decisions. And I genuinely believe that the grammar school system no longer provides the way out of disadvantage that it used to because parents who understand the system use it to their advantage. It makes me very cross that bright children from disadvantaged backgrounds, with parents who don't/can't help them have very little chance of getting into a grammar school these days.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:45 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:30 pm
Posts: 960
And I love, love ,love the education my daughter is getting - I just think that every other 11 year old should get something as good. Why on earth should my dd get better drama and music and dance just because she passed the 11+? I could just about understand why she gets better academic teaching, but drama? art? sport?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:56 pm 
Quote:
I am not anti parents doing what they think is best for their children - but I think I have the right - don't I? - to question them about their decisions.


You have exactly the same right to question other parents as I have the right to question you about your decisions regarding secondary education.

You do however (and I'm sure its not intentional) often very aggressive in the way that you ask your questions. You clearly have principles (a good thing) but as you have stated yourself cannot necessarily follow them through
Quote:
And I wish that my principles were strong enough to send my daughter to our nearest secondary school - but to my shame they aren't
.

My point is this. I am not sure it is fair to be hyper critical of parents who do not fall in the perfect parent mould (be it tutoring, worry about homework or many of the other things that bug us as parents in what seems to be an increasingly high pressured world) if you are not able to follow your conscience and principles for whatever reason to the letter yourself. This is purely an observation and it may well be that I have completely misconstrued your point.


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 2:00 pm 
Quote:
Why on earth should my dd get better drama and music and dance just because she passed the 11+? I could just about understand why she gets better academic teaching, but drama? art? sport?


I completely agree with that. I must say that my sons chosen school provides all the extras and this was the main selling point to him. Opportunities afforded to his older brother are limited for which the blame has to be shouldered by the comp (which I hasten to add is considered to be a successful school academically).

Must go - time for lunch!!


Top
  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 73 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 8  Next

All times are UTC


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
CALL 020 8204 5060
   
Privacy Policy | Refund Policy | Disclaimer | Copyright © 2004 – 2016