Don't get too stressed over the 11+
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olivergreenwood
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- Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:59 am
Don't get too stressed over the 11+
I've been reading all these posts and everyone is (as expected) getting stressed. But a lot of this is because people don't understand that grammar schools are not everything. I failed the 11+ and the 13+, having had tutoring. I didn't do very well at school. I went to the local comp which, I recently found, had a 5 A-C pass rate of about 46%, actually lower than the national rate when I first joined and didn't do particularly well there, for the first 3 years. I've just finished my finals at Oxford University and am expecting a very good grade. Don't forget that these institutions can crush children's confidence, as Oxford did mine for the first two years. Long term success does not completely depend on which school you went to but on your attitude and dedication. With hindsight, I'm glad I failed the tests because when I started doing extra work by myself, I became top of my year at the comp and it gave me confidence and determination to work harder. I've tutored children for the 11+ and some children, though bright, are simply not academically-minded but will do well later. It's good to want the best for your children but be careful you don't put your faith in the wrong thing.
Thanks for this Olivergreenwood as it does seem the ultimate failure to some when their kids dont get into GS.
Just shows from you success that grammar schooling is not the only path and perhaps this will ease the pain of some of those going through appeals at the moment.
Of course this will not stop the anxiety as we will still want our kids to go to the "right" school!! But it might put it in perspective.
Just shows from you success that grammar schooling is not the only path and perhaps this will ease the pain of some of those going through appeals at the moment.
Of course this will not stop the anxiety as we will still want our kids to go to the "right" school!! But it might put it in perspective.
Well said.
I think too that your attitude is a main contributor to getting on.
My hubby has lots of qualifications. He is confused why his efforts were
not rewarded in the same way as mine.
I have no qualifications, I cant spell, I dont know my times tables, I did not pass my 11+. I wish I had.
I started with nothing and am now well off. I know it was my attitude
as I did not have anything else to contribute.
My two children are grammer school kids, I am glad that we went this route, they will have had by the end all the chances to get on in life,
but still it is thier attitude that will determine how they get on in life.
You have proved this point and should be proud of yourself, well done for
achieving your goals.
Just a short note too about attitudes. In America they congratulate each other on success, here we seem to think someone is bragging if they mention doing well?
I think too that your attitude is a main contributor to getting on.
My hubby has lots of qualifications. He is confused why his efforts were
not rewarded in the same way as mine.
I have no qualifications, I cant spell, I dont know my times tables, I did not pass my 11+. I wish I had.
I started with nothing and am now well off. I know it was my attitude
as I did not have anything else to contribute.
My two children are grammer school kids, I am glad that we went this route, they will have had by the end all the chances to get on in life,
but still it is thier attitude that will determine how they get on in life.
You have proved this point and should be proud of yourself, well done for
achieving your goals.
Just a short note too about attitudes. In America they congratulate each other on success, here we seem to think someone is bragging if they mention doing well?
Well done on doing so well for yourself - good luck with the results. Yes I am getting stressed over the 11+ but only because I want the best for my child - what parent doesn't? As long as he isn't stressed then mission accomplished.
My main reason for hoping my son goes to a grammar school is that the non-selective schools in my area are so poor. His temperament means that he will follow the path of least resistance and I feel that at any of our non-selective schools he will be allowed to get away with it and indeed peer pressure will mean it is expected. In a grammar school environment, however, even doing the bare minimum will get him producing good work because the base line expectations are so much higher.
So while your get-up-and-go got you the results you were capable of, my son's laid back attitude could be his downfall if he is not given a kick up the backside every now and then. Being in an environment full of high achievers will bring out the best in him - his work in primary school went from mediocre to very good just by sitting him near the brighter children in the class (and no he didn't just copy their work!) - peer pressure worked to his advantage - it became cool to be clever.
My main reason for hoping my son goes to a grammar school is that the non-selective schools in my area are so poor. His temperament means that he will follow the path of least resistance and I feel that at any of our non-selective schools he will be allowed to get away with it and indeed peer pressure will mean it is expected. In a grammar school environment, however, even doing the bare minimum will get him producing good work because the base line expectations are so much higher.
So while your get-up-and-go got you the results you were capable of, my son's laid back attitude could be his downfall if he is not given a kick up the backside every now and then. Being in an environment full of high achievers will bring out the best in him - his work in primary school went from mediocre to very good just by sitting him near the brighter children in the class (and no he didn't just copy their work!) - peer pressure worked to his advantage - it became cool to be clever.
Hi AndyB,
I think as parents we need to aim high, hope for the best and work towards it. It does help to be with high acheiving kids.
I imagine the most imprtant thing is to give our children the tools to do the job, to make them familiar with the type of questions they are likley to get, to give them some idea of the time peramitrs of the test.
But as the old saying goes, you can only take a horse to water, you cant make it drink.
take care
Cindy
I think as parents we need to aim high, hope for the best and work towards it. It does help to be with high acheiving kids.
I imagine the most imprtant thing is to give our children the tools to do the job, to make them familiar with the type of questions they are likley to get, to give them some idea of the time peramitrs of the test.
But as the old saying goes, you can only take a horse to water, you cant make it drink.
take care
Cindy
Hi Cindy
You are so right and when it comes to the crunch we can't take the tests for them.
I have always said to my childrenthat as long as they can truthfully say they have done their best then I don't mind whether they get 10/10 or 2/10. It's my job to make them believe in themselves so they can achieve their potential whatever that may be.
You are so right and when it comes to the crunch we can't take the tests for them.
I have always said to my childrenthat as long as they can truthfully say they have done their best then I don't mind whether they get 10/10 or 2/10. It's my job to make them believe in themselves so they can achieve their potential whatever that may be.
Ewll done AndyB
I wish I had know what the 11+ was like before I took it.
I am 48 now and can still remember sitting at my 11+ test. I had never seen this syle of questions before, I looked around myself the whole test
wondering how the other children seemed to be doing it. I felt thick, I gave in..
That said I still could not pass the test now, but in the case of my children
I might not have known the answers, but I knew where to find them.
It was not as greater task as I first imagined. All I had to do after familurising them with the style of question and letting them have a go,
was to find out the questions that they did not know the answers to and work on those. I was surprised, they knew about half, and the others we worked on, with the help of my hubby.
we did about half an hour, or two pages a day, only marking them once a week. Once they understood the style of question, about two weeks before we worked on the time issue.
I used the carrot and stick approach, it suited my children.
Oh, and they were reminded the usual, if you dont know it, go on to the next one and come back when finished.
These seem obvious methods to us, but not to children.
take care
Cindy
I wish I had know what the 11+ was like before I took it.
I am 48 now and can still remember sitting at my 11+ test. I had never seen this syle of questions before, I looked around myself the whole test
wondering how the other children seemed to be doing it. I felt thick, I gave in..
That said I still could not pass the test now, but in the case of my children
I might not have known the answers, but I knew where to find them.
It was not as greater task as I first imagined. All I had to do after familurising them with the style of question and letting them have a go,
was to find out the questions that they did not know the answers to and work on those. I was surprised, they knew about half, and the others we worked on, with the help of my hubby.
we did about half an hour, or two pages a day, only marking them once a week. Once they understood the style of question, about two weeks before we worked on the time issue.
I used the carrot and stick approach, it suited my children.
Oh, and they were reminded the usual, if you dont know it, go on to the next one and come back when finished.
These seem obvious methods to us, but not to children.
take care
Cindy
