Struggling at GS
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No. I actually really do appreciate your remark. You are right. Of course he will get our support if needed, especially in the first year, however I would like to reduce my input.You will probably not appreciate my comment but if he has gained entry on the back of extensive help from you, I'm not sure it is then especially fair to remove that help. As a tutor, I tell my parents that the children gaining entry to a highly selective school is the beginning of the journey and not the end.
There comes the time when our kids need to learn how to fend for themselves , they need to find their own ground even if it meant not being at the top of the class. They need to found out what the consequeces of not doing homework or doing it badly are. Until now he always had homework done neatly and properly because of my nagging and me standing over him all the time.
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fm
Yes, I do agree. It is very difficult to get the balance right.
I left my very laidback eldest pretty much to fend for herself at grammar school which she attained with a very limited amount of tuition. When her GCSE mocks were fairly awful (mostly C's and D's apart from two 'A's in her best subjects), I debated with myself what to do and finally did help her--organising, supervising and tutoring her to make up for her lackadaisicalness. She did go on to get 9 A's and 2 A* despite her physics teacher predicting she'd get C on a good day! Or maybe because.
Was that the right thing to do? Probably not. As she proceeded to be just the same about AS levels, only this time I didn't bail her out. After much repeating and resitting and some clever manoeuvring on her part, she did eventually get away to a decent university where she continues to work on a 'how little can I get away with doing' basis.
I have learned the hard way to accept that intelligence is one thing and drive and ambition another.
What will I do with her younger sister who is just entering grammar school this year? Not sure. Probably support her more at Key Stage 3 in the hope that doing well from the outset will make her want to continue to do well, but step back after that.
I left my very laidback eldest pretty much to fend for herself at grammar school which she attained with a very limited amount of tuition. When her GCSE mocks were fairly awful (mostly C's and D's apart from two 'A's in her best subjects), I debated with myself what to do and finally did help her--organising, supervising and tutoring her to make up for her lackadaisicalness. She did go on to get 9 A's and 2 A* despite her physics teacher predicting she'd get C on a good day! Or maybe because.
Was that the right thing to do? Probably not. As she proceeded to be just the same about AS levels, only this time I didn't bail her out. After much repeating and resitting and some clever manoeuvring on her part, she did eventually get away to a decent university where she continues to work on a 'how little can I get away with doing' basis.
I have learned the hard way to accept that intelligence is one thing and drive and ambition another.
What will I do with her younger sister who is just entering grammar school this year? Not sure. Probably support her more at Key Stage 3 in the hope that doing well from the outset will make her want to continue to do well, but step back after that.
Ha! Ha! We all have this soft spot when it comes to your children.When her GCSE mocks were fairly awful (mostly C's and D's apart from two 'A's in her best subjects), I debated with myself what to do and finally did help her--organising, supervising and tutoring her to make up for her lackadaisicalness.
I think you understood what I meant. At the end of the day the final result matters. Our kids will appreciate our help and effort later....when they have to deal with their own kids:).
Leaving my DS (by the way, does it stand for DEAR SON? I have noticed this new trend on this web; not sure I'm reading it right) to cope on his own is more like a wishful thinking than reality, however I wil try (esp. now after seeing his Y6 schoolwork - super laziness). Actually, absolutely unbelievable. I know he knows the rules, but he never follows them. Tricky!
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KES Parent
I wouldn't worry - if he has been at a state primary school he has probably been driven almost insane with boredom with all the endless practice for SATS that he could probably have done standing on his head a year ago. My son was at this stage 6 years ago and I really didn't know how we were going to get him to the end of Year 6, and things are even worse now, I gather. He soon perked up once he got to secondary school, and at KES they don't do KS3 SATs (we carefully checked before sending him there!) I am sure your DS will be fine, and the school will be well used to clever lazy boys and keep his nose to the grindstone.moose wrote:[Leaving my DS (by the way, does it stand for DEAR SON? I have noticed this new trend on this web; not sure I'm reading it right) to cope on his own is more like a wishful thinking than reality, however I wil try (esp. now after seeing his Y6 schoolwork - super laziness). Actually, absolutely unbelievable. I know he knows the rules, but he never follows them. Tricky!
Thank you KES parent. I hope you are right.
Sth must have gone wrong in school.
My DS is the only one of two children in his class, who has Grade 5 in music and he received SATISFACTORY result in music at the end of the year!
In maths again he was one of the few who got into GS , maths being his favourite subject and he came out with only GOOD mark!
I must say that he is very far from being naughty. Lazy , yes , but not naughty. All teachers always stress out how attentive, good and helpful he is in school. (I wish he was like that at home!)
I relly find it odd!
Sth must have gone wrong in school.
My DS is the only one of two children in his class, who has Grade 5 in music and he received SATISFACTORY result in music at the end of the year!
In maths again he was one of the few who got into GS , maths being his favourite subject and he came out with only GOOD mark!
I must say that he is very far from being naughty. Lazy , yes , but not naughty. All teachers always stress out how attentive, good and helpful he is in school. (I wish he was like that at home!)
I relly find it odd!
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fm
I am always baffled by the difference between my opinion of children I tutor and the school's--and it works both ways. Sometimes I have quite average children whom the school are praising to the heights and I often have very clever children whom no one has noticed.
My own child's year 5 teacher implied she may not be GS in maths and she had me believing her for a while yet daughter went on to score 48/50 in NFER maths test for one of the grammar school entrance exams she sat--a much harder exam than Sats.
The moral of the story is I think some primary school teachers confuse intelligence and personality--and always have.
My own child's year 5 teacher implied she may not be GS in maths and she had me believing her for a while yet daughter went on to score 48/50 in NFER maths test for one of the grammar school entrance exams she sat--a much harder exam than Sats.
The moral of the story is I think some primary school teachers confuse intelligence and personality--and always have.
