when is it time to admit defeat

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Guest

when is it time to admit defeat

Post by Guest »

i am at the end of my tether i can spent vast amounts of money on books and but i cant improve my childs mark above 60 % with 2 weekd=s to go is it time to call it a day :cry:
usa
Posts: 141
Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:36 am

Post by usa »

Dear Guest
Do you know where the problem is - is it timing, nerves, or certain questions? Get back to this site and I am sure someone can advise you further.
No - dont give up.
USA
patricia
Posts: 2803
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:07 pm

Post by patricia »

Dear Guest

What part of the country are you from?

What papers have you been using?

Patricia
Sally-Anne
Posts: 9235
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire

Post by Sally-Anne »

Guest

I feel so sorry for you and your child. Please do post back and we will do all that we can to help you.

Don't give up, but also don't despair. My son didn't pass the 11+ - he was always a marginal case - and he is thriving despite it. There is life on the other side of this wretched exam.

Best wishes
Sally-Anne
Jed

Post by Jed »

My daughter never liked VR either - in fact the more we did, the worse she seemed to get, even though we followed all the advice about technique and practice.

Of course, that didn't stop her wanting to pass, but her brain just didn't seem to click with this kind of test and she didn't finish either of the real tests.

She got 116 in the real test, but came out of primary with all level 5s (which puts her in the top 12% nationally according to the statistics), is thriving in a good comp and has long since forgotten the 11 plus. So, as Sally-Anne says, there's life after the 11 plus.

Maybe it's time for you and your daughter to relax and see what happens. Remind your daughter of the things the 11 plus is NOT asking her to do (e.g. write a story/sing a song/recite a poem). These were the things our daughter was good at and it made her feel better when we emphasized that the test was narrow and maybe didn't suit the more creative (scatter)brains.

Jed

PS Sally-Anne - it's great your son is thriving - does this mean you're still going for the 12+, or are you hesitating?
angelz
Posts: 75
Joined: Tue Aug 15, 2006 2:20 pm
Location: Lincolnshire

Post by angelz »

Jed wrote:Maybe it's time for you and your daughter to relax and see what happens. Remind your daughter of the things the 11 plus is NOT asking her to do (e.g. write a story/sing a song/recite a poem). These were the things our daughter was good at and it made her feel better when we emphasized that the test was narrow and maybe didn't suit the more creative (scatter)brains.
Your daughter is very lucky, you sound like a great family :D
angelz
Jed

Post by Jed »

Dear angelz

Thanks for the compliment. I think we've also had a bit of luck in that we have a good comp nearby.

I think the key really is perspective. Some kids really don't like VR and it's not your (or the tutor's) fault. We speak from experience as we have two daughters. We moved into Bucks when the eldest was 10 and had no idea they still did the 11 plus. We didn't know any of the other parents and didn't find out until a week before the tests when our daughter came back from school with the Bucks practice papers! We still didn't really understand what was going on, but she passed anyway with 130 and was offered a grammar place. It's interesting in hindsight to remember that her 3 scores were 138, 122 and 114 (at that time they took the average of the top two). Bizarre differences that perhaps reflect natural ability rather than tutored consistency?!

Five years later, the second daughter's turn and we'd caught the 'preparation' bug. She didn't like VR at all (see previous post) and failed.

There's a moral there somewhere!

Jed
Sally-Anne
Posts: 9235
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire

Post by Sally-Anne »

Hi Jed

I think "agonizing", rather than hesitating, describes it best! We'll sign him up for it and then make up our minds after Christmas.

Glad you daughter is doing so well - it is so heartening for people like Guest to know that the 11+ is not the be all and end all.

Best wishes
Sally-Anne
Guest

Post by Guest »

thank u all 4 your replies. My daughter is weak in vocabulary and each test paper brings with it a long list of words for her to learn and she mixs all the meaning up when she tries to learn them.

i have brought nfer ips tutors papers and cd1 she scores low in all of them and i feel i have failed her for not starting earlier.x
usa
Posts: 141
Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:36 am

Post by usa »

Dear Guest - no you certainly havent failed your daughter. You have obviously tried very hard for her, in buying all that material for study.
You never know - she might actually "do it" on the day and gets nervous with Mum breathing down her neck!! Are you Bucks? How did the school practice papers go?
USA
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