I went through all this with my DS two years ago and that was nerve crunching enough. I'm now doing it all again with my DD and up until yesterday thought we were handling all okay. It should have been easier than with DS because DD is the more academic of the two.
We've done lots of revision and practice papers and DD seemed to be great at VR
but less confident in Maths
. It wasn't that she couldn't do the questions, just that she was erratic in her performance. Half of the papers she completed in the time and got a good or excellent score but the other half she failed to complete in the time BUT still got almost all the questions she did do right! Well the last two maths papers she did were good ones so I thought she'd finally settled. Then yesterday she did a paper and I was devestated to find it was the worst score she had ever got. She hadn't finished (did less questions than ever) but still got most of the questions right. She later told me she'd got to question 17, looked at the time left and felt so hopeless that she knew she wouldn't finish so what was the point anyway!!!!
I spent thewhole evening trying to explain that she was not hopeless, just nervous and that she was very capable of not only completing a paper, but also doing very well (I pointed out all the papers where she'd done just that!) She just needed to calm down and have a bit of faith in herself. I don't know what happened - maybe there has been some talk amongst friends at school about the 11+ that knocked her confidence.
I'm just not sure what to say or do - should I just forget any more practice and leave it to her? My instinct is to just hug her and say it doesn't matter, but it does matter very much to her. She just doesn't accept it when I tell her this isn't a test of her intelligence, just a way of deciding which kind of school she would be suited to and if it turns out to be non-selective then she could do just as well there. But I know if I take this stance she will say that I don't think she can do it either!
Just have to play it by ear - we've done everything we can and its up to her now - if she really wants this she will do her best. Whatever the result we're still proud of her and love her. Everyone else seems to think she will be fine and have no trouble -its only DD herself who seems to have doubts (and then she makes me worry!)
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest...