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PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 8:21 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:42 pm
Posts: 193
I've been reading and posting on quite a few topics since I joined the forum.

I remember all the posts before and after the exams and the waiting for results. The the agony of DS not passing the Bexley test, but then scraping through on the Kent test. Then the sad feelings when Shellebelle's DS didn't get the results they wanted.

Then the long wait to find out what school my DS was going to be offered.

He got Wilmington (as many who read here will know). I am so happy that he was offered the place and the acceptance letter has already been sent off.

HOWEVER I have a horrible sense of guilt.

Reading posts of parents whose DS and DDs passed with much higher scores but didn't get a place because they live too far away e.g. Gercha, just makes me feel bad.

I come to the conclusion that provided you've passed the exam the rest is down to pure luck.

I have been trying to think of a way of making selection fair, but I don't know if there is one. What may seem fair to one person won't seem fair to another.

Anyone else on here whose DS or DD scraped through the exam, got a place and now feels guilty?


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 8:28 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:20 pm
Posts: 4660
Please don't feel guilty BigRob.

We all know what a lottery it is when we embark upon this adventure - it's a chance we all take, win or lose.

If someone isn't allocated a place it's not any one person's fault - it's the system.

Be pleased for your son, I would be.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:30 am 
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I am pleased for him Snowdrops, but it is heart rending to hear of children deserving a place ( & possibly more deserving) who don't get in.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:45 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 9:29 am
Posts: 60
Location: orpington
Bigrob,

please don't feel bad.....it's not about who deserves it more (or less)
like snowdrops said its the system. if i had known my son wouldn't get a place in a grammar school (because of catchment) i wouldn't have put his name down for the test. it would have been less stressful and i probably would have got my first choice of non selective school for him (my other son and daughter did)
that is my argument.....

i'm so happy for you and your son and all the others who got their grammars

Dal


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:01 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:20 pm
Posts: 4660
BigRob, my DD passed the 11+, scoring highly.

She didn't get a place - out of catchment.

You have absolutely NO NEED TO FEEL GUILTY.

It was a chance we took and I'm glad we did, otherwise we'd always be asking, what if?

Enjoy it please, for us!!

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:40 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2008 4:47 pm
Posts: 90
Oh Bigrob

Am so sorry if I made you feel guilty. Your son has EVERY right to his place at Wilmington and you must be really, really happy for him (which of course I know that you are).

It's the system that is really unfair. I understand how it works and to be honest a lot of it is down to location and sheer luck, but my ds is struggling to understand - bless him. This year with 250 more children passing the Kent test this has meant that the distance for allocations has been much shorter. I had a really strong feeling that this would happen and although people kept saying "oh, you're ok, you're son will get into a Grammar school easily" I was still very cautious. It's a tough year, but it's a long time until September so we are just hoping for a lot of movement within the school places.

We are hopeful and we are getting information ready together to appeal to Wilmington. I know appeals are rarely successful but as I told my ds "you have done everything that I have asked you to and performed exceptionally well, now it's down to your father and I to do what we can to try and get you a place".

You got your place fair and square Bigrob and I wish every success for your son. You never know our sons may be playing together yet in the Wilmington playground come September!!!!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:47 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:42 pm
Posts: 193
Hi Gercha

That would be goof for them to meet n play AT Wilmington.

I hope you realise I didn't start the post to get you all to say - don't be daft.

It was just how I have been feeling - but thanks.

I think I have bored everyone at work and all my friends to death. Saying he's in and explaining all the heartache stories on here.

And I guess for every one on here there are 10 that aren't.

I do wish you all luck with the appeals.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:17 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2008 4:47 pm
Posts: 90
Thanks Bigrob, fingers crossed for all the children who are on waiting lists or are going to appeal.


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