ultimately I'll have to pickup the pieces as he won't be able to go to college or get a job so he'll continue to play GTA and watch youtube videos throughout his twenties!
He does sound like one of mine
I think rather than 'pick up the pieces', I am supportive. So with the first I tried to sort the problems out for her, really that was no help at all. We went with this in the end and my subsequent DC: 'You chose this route, even though you were given advice from school and home - it is not our fault -, so these are now your choices ...' We will still provide you with a lovely home etc
It was not a disaster and high A level grades were achieved. I still have a Y12 making all sorts of poor choices (he ignores older siblings too), but me not nagging means we are still very close.
I am incredibly proud of my eldest 2 DC, they weren't stars at school and didn't work hard, but they have secured excellent uni places on challenging courses and now work very hard indeed. They will end up being some of the highest achievers of their old school years - and it has all come from within. I think, for them, they had to fail and discover what they wanted. It really has empowered them.