Should he stay or should he go?

Discussion and advice on Sixth Form matters

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nell
Posts: 44
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 1:31 pm
Location: south

Should he stay or should he go?

Post by nell »

We have a bit of a dilemna as to whether to stay at co-ed indie for 6th form or leave to fantastic extremely well regarded Sixth Form College. My DS waivers between the two choices and we have to give notice this Friday if we are going to leave. I would be really interested to hear others' opinions on the merits of staying or going. In a nutshell, he has been incredibly happy at school , has fully immersed himself in the sport , D of E , and all that is on offer. He isn't particularly academic and lacks self motivation when it comes to work which is one of the reasons that he feels it maybe better for him to stay on. The teachers all know him well, he won't have to waste time getting to know the ropes and new people, he can hit the ground running with the AS levels which I am led to believe is what you have to do . The fly in the ointment is that there has been a bit of a discord this year with some staff changes which have directly affected my son and have unsettled him. As a result one of his best friends has decided to leave.

There is a lot to be said for moving on to a more realistic environment at 16. It can be a little stifling for an independent spirit to stay on at an educational establishment where they have to hand their car keys in to matron (not that my DS will be having a car of his own ) follow a certain dress code and still be living within the same confines as an 11 year old. At Sixth Form College there are more subjects on offer , new friendships to make however there are also many more distractions which for a child like mine could be disastrous. I have spoken to other parents who have children in the sixth form at the indie and some are happy and others a little disillusioned. My main concern is that my son has someone on his case and plenty of encouragement but it seems that in some circumstances the support is not there so therefore why pay if you can get the same and maybe more for free!

As I said he has been incredibly happy and has a wonderful group of friends most of whom will be staying :lol: After another incident (nothing he was involved with but a decision made that he disagrees with) he came home yesterday saying he is 80% certain that he wants to leave. (Bear in mind that two weeks ago he was asking where we were going to get his suit for 6th Form from!)We have told him that it is his decision but are keen that the decision is made for the right reasons.

Help!!! :?
hermanmunster
Posts: 12818
Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:51 am
Location: The Seaside

Post by hermanmunster »

I sense that you would prefer to let him stay but are concerned that the environment is not the real world.

It sounds to me as though there are far more positives for where he is than negatives.

re the REAL WORLD... plenty of time for that later. I went to an all girls direct grant grammar (those were the days). Very sheltered . Survived fine at Uni 120 miles away in London!
T.i.p.s.y

Post by T.i.p.s.y »

Hi Nell,

Remembering your previous issues with a place for your youngest son then would this be a way to free up some fees so he can go to a boarding or more expensive school that will take him?

If he is a hard worker and will not get swayed then you may as well let him have this opportunity. I would find out how the other sixth formers take to inde pupils joining them though.

What progress have you made with your youngest - PM me if you wish.
KB
Posts: 3030
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:28 pm

Post by KB »

Have some relevant experience - would recommend staying put.

They really do need to hit the ground the running & unless its really essential I would not recommend moving - it takes a while to make new friends, settle into different environment and get to know staff (and for them to know students).

Sixth form college probably will be more 'adult' but getting that freedom at this point sounds like it might not be right for your DS where as at Uni they do have time to settle in before academic pressure sets in.

Most schools like to encourage 6th formers to take responsibilty in some areas so although there will be restrictions he should be able to feel 'different' from the rest of the school in some ways.

I think alot of 16 year olds have had enough of the confines of school so his eagerness to move on is quite understandable but it is quite a bit less than two years in the 6th form & it passes very quickly, with a constant stream of exams etc and application process for Universities. Being somewhere you know during that time has huge advantages. In hardly any time he will be moving away to spend 3 or 4 years at University and all the freedom he wants - the next 2 years will probably be the most stressful & it helps have support & security of familiarity.

Get him to count up how many weeks he will actually spend at school during the 6th form (accounting for holidays & all the study leave its not many!) -easier to stay put & concentrate on getting to his choice of Uni where the next stage of his life really starts!
another mother
Posts: 269
Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:46 pm

Post by another mother »

We are also going through this - but have till this evening and she has lost the form for the comp!!!!! Is this fate!?

I think in her heart she wants to stay put at her indie - grades matter to her and friends who have made the move in the past years have on occasion ended up doing several re-sits. The move is likely to be disruptive. There is clearly and rightly far more emphasis on being independent in terms of learning and work management at the comp (but any sixth form will expect more of you than GCSEs demand) and it will be more real, more 'fun', more normal - and mixed. However staying she has the definite advantage, as your son will, of having teachers who know you, and secure friendships and a chance to lead things. And she has, like your son, been very happy so far - a lot of people have said to us if it aint broke..

What has also happened, as some wise people on this forum predicted, is that some of those girls who initially accepted boys indies have decided to stay put so the exodus is less than we thought. This might happen for you too? But it is really hard, as we've discovered, if a best friend is going and you feel you are not being adventurous too. Has he got other good friends staying? Will new people come in?
KB is usually very good on this I think!! But that doesn't mean we are all sorted out yet!
londonmum
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Aug 15, 2009 9:07 am
Location: London

Post by londonmum »

Moving a child for sixth form means the new school only has 2 full terms to get to know them before having to write the university report.

Given to me as a strong reason why London girls should not switch to Westminster, unless they ware the types who will hit the ground running. But assume it applies elsewhere.
KenR
Posts: 1506
Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2006 6:12 pm
Location: Birmingham

Post by KenR »

Firstly let me say that I am probably slight biased having gone to a 6th form college myself and my other half teaches in one.

Having said that though, there can be significant advantages in moving, particularly if the child has any concerns about the environment and quality of teaching in the existing independent school.

It's a known fact that some schools and teachers have struggled to get to grips with the recent curriculum changes and this can affect performance and grades. Let your child decide.

I would recommend visiting the college and talking to staff, however be quick - most 6th form colleges are well over subscribed for Sept 2010 entry.
KB
Posts: 3030
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:28 pm

Post by KB »

Didn't mean to suggest that 6th form colleges in general aren't good at delivering - more that there needs to be a very strong reason to move given all the risks involved.

I think the current year 13 has had a rough time as a result of all the changes but hopefully school will have learned from the experience and those in Year 11 atm should be OK!
nell
Posts: 44
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 1:31 pm
Location: south

Post by nell »

Thanks for all the great advice. All the points made are so valid. Luckily we have been offered a place at the college already so we are in a fortunate position. I think we will give notice to the school as we don't want to forfeit a terms fees should he/we decide that the college is the best option. This worries us slightly as if he were to get freezing feet about moving nearer the time would they let us slip back in?! :? The registrar has told us that there is a waiting list for the sixth form but I think that is largely irrelevant since they do not yet know how many will be moving on (and from what I hear there are quite a few)

We have now been told that we have the Easter hoidays to mulll it all over so at least that gives us a bit more time. :roll:
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