New Dilemma

[Looking for help]

Well jemima there's a whole thread somewhere on here about dealing with interference from relatives, you may get some interesting tactics on how to ignore your inlaws. I wouldn't worry terribly much about what other folks think....it really is up to your son at the end of the day, and in these days of nothing but bad news, if he's happy, then I think that's half the battle.

I think they do become much more of a worry as they get older

[hermanmunster]

tell the in laws to get a life (and a ticket to glastonbury.. oh herman, really). Have done a survey of the doctors I have seen today (sample size = 4) and 100% said they would do something different given the chance.

[Marylou]

Indeed back ON T...sorry OP, didn't mean to start anything! Just thought you could do with some stress relief at the moment.

I suppose medicine has always been one of those courses which, by definition, require you to have made your career choice before going to university, which is not the case for many other highly academic courses. Deciding what you want to do for the rest of your life is a big step, and I think it's good that your DS tried it, otherwise he might always have wondered about it. He's made a brave decision but is now free to pursue his real vocation - and making a career out of something that you really enjoy can only be a good thing.

Back in the heady days of free tuition and maintenance grants, I knew someone at university who studied dentistry for a year (both parents were dentists), then changed courses and graduated in law, and is now a successful accountant and has been for many years. I decided after spending a year doing a PGCE that teaching wasn't for me. Work experience is all very well, but the realization that this is what you're going to do for the rest of your life is an effective way of focussing the mind on what might seem a radical decision.

Good luck with the inlaws! Ultimately it's your DS's life, not theirs, and our role as parents is to support where we can. Wishing your DS all the very best for the future - he deserves it.

[jemima]

Maylou - thanks,
Guess no one is surprised that he's going for music.

[jemima]

Hermanmunster,
You are really great saying these comforting things - I will try to take heart from your comprehensive survey! I just need himto get somework now until his 'dream' course next year! Do I sound bitter.....?
I am currently listening to my DC3 do her grade 8 mock exam and I actually 'resent' the piano because of the trouble it's caused!

[jemima]

Looking for Help,
Yep agree about the inlaws - luckily we rarely see them and will hold off telling them until everything is totally sorted. The only thing about them pursuing their dreams and happiness is they also need to accept responsibility - we may need a word with him about this - difficult at their age but they are still wanting financial support and we can't just keep handing out money without him taking responsibility.
Sorry for the three posts in a row butI get muddled about whoI am replying to otherwise.

[Belinda]

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[jemima]

Thanks sooooooo much. Apparantly DS is on telly tonight and has a performance job tomorrow too, so I guess at least he's made a start on getting on with the music - he's also got a main part in an opera. I am proud of him and glad he does seem so happy to be involved in what he enjoys. I guess when he asked for two specific pieces of music and a conductors baton for Christmas (subsequently forgetting to buy a stethoscope) I should have seen it coming:) Reading Belinda's stories do ring true - he used to play the piano constantly at home and couldn't walk past it without sitting down to play.

[Belinda]

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[hermanmunster]

Oh yes Belinda, definitely chocolate and ... yes more chocolate!

Jemima - glad to hear things are sorting out OK - remember those breathing exercises in labour? - you might need them while talking to the in-laws, fingers crossed for you.

I was amused by the Xmas presents and the lack of stethescope .... very telling.