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 Post subject: Sleepless night
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 7:34 am 
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Joined: Tue May 27, 2014 7:30 pm
Posts: 6
Hello everyone, I first joined this forum over 8 years ago when we were looking at secondary schools for DD1, I have been a regular reader and have gained lots of very useful information. It has helped me through 11plus exams, school choice, GCSE choices, GCSE revision worries, GCSE results, AS choices etc, University process, interview stress and so on. Thank you! So here we are on the verge of A'level exams having successfully negotiated the very long journey and I've just had my first sleepless night over realising that this is not all just theory - my lovely DD1 is actually going to be leaving home and living a long way away. I am sorry for sounding pathetic, but the whole process has been heading towards this point and it's only just become real to me. She applied for accommodation at her insurance choice yesterday and I think that's what finally brought it home. I am sorry for the very long post but I just felt like getting it out of my system. It has been such an exciting and stressful few years and this forum has been so helpful. I am very proud of what DD1 has achieved and very excited for her as she heads off, but I will miss her so much!


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 Post subject: Re: Sleepless night
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 8:34 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:45 pm
Posts: 4608
I think every parent on this forum knows exactly how you are feeling. Part of being a parent is to give them wings, all I can say is that it's one of the most difficult parts of parenting, most of us would like them to be still playing in the sandpit, running around in the garden and painting pictures for us. Enjoy your summer with DD when the exams are over.


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 Post subject: Re: Sleepless night
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 9:40 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:28 pm
Posts: 2364
Its a really tough time so don't feel silly. Do try to enjoy the time you will get together rather than thinking about what you are loosing.
When I get really down I try to think about the parents who would love to be in our position and try to feel grateful for having offspring that are alive and generally fit and healthy and have the opportunity for a happy secure future.


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 Post subject: Re: Sleepless night
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 9:46 am 
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Joined: Tue May 27, 2014 7:30 pm
Posts: 6
Thanks scary mum, we are taking a break from revision to go shopping for a dress for Leavers' Ball - more stress! Just feeling nostalgic and emotional, which makes a change from stressing over school issues!


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 Post subject: Re: Sleepless night
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 10:09 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:03 pm
Posts: 1413
It sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your DD, so you won't ever lose her - you'll just continue to share more of the important moments in each other's lives.

I imagine she also feels 'funny' (even if it hasn't hit her yet): the excitement of beginning her adult life, coupled with missing the familiar stability you have given her. But she knows you are there for her :D

_________________
Seize the day ... before it seizes you.


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 Post subject: Re: Sleepless night
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 11:07 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 11:19 am
Posts: 888
I'm a year behind you, but already having the odd moment when I think about how different life will be when dd1 goes off to university ... I console myself that the terms aren't *that* long and she'll be back before we know it. And then a year later dd2 could be following! The house will be very quiet.

Not sure it's really sunk in for dd1 either - we were talking the other day about how relatively old various of our friends are - e.g. who had their first baby youngest, who will be what age when their youngest child turns 18 ... dd1 asked me "so how old will you be when *I* turn 18?" ... swiftly followed by "oh my god, that's this year!"


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 Post subject: Re: Sleepless night
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 11:55 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:28 pm
Posts: 2364
Revels toke- hope she is going somewhere nice for you to make the odd visit with treats and meals out :)


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 Post subject: Re: Sleepless night
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 12:39 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 27, 2014 7:30 pm
Posts: 6
All your lovely comments have just made me even more emotional! It's going to be a long summer! I am very aware that I am so lucky to be in this position. A family member lost their 18 year old in tragic circumstances two years ago so I take nothing for granted. I am also very lucky as both her firm and insurance are in beautiful cities that I can't wait to visit for the odd weekend. I just seem to have spent so many years taking information from this forum and suddenly I am at the point where it all leads to and it is so exciting but also very daunting. I had a vivid dream last night about dropping her off at uni, and woke up in a panic realising it is really going to happen. This forum is fantastic, and even though I have silently lurked for the last 8 years I have found it incredibly helpful - as I am sure many others do too.


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 Post subject: Re: Sleepless night
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 1:47 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2010 7:25 pm
Posts: 77
I feel for you! This time last year I could have written the exact same thing - all of it. I'm still here (still finding this forum enormously helpful - thank you all). I genuinely did not think I would cope without DD at home and dreaded dropping her at uni last year. But I'm happy to say (for the most part) I'm coping very well :)
DD is wonderfully happy at Uni. She hasn't come home apart from holidays. She has stayed in touch with old school friends, made new friends and grown and matured in so, so many ways. In turn our relationship has matured too. It is no less than it was, it has just moved on to another equally enjoyable phase. She too is in a lovely city and I definitely look forward to my train trips once a term.
With facebook, text and skype it is really easy to keep in touch on a casual basis, without all the expectations and angst of the weekly/monthly phonecall home that I remember when I was at uni.
I'm so proud of her and I'm just a little bit proud of me too.
It's an amazing time (albeit flying by); hopefully you will find much to enjoy about it too.
Good luck to both of you. Enjoy the summer.


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 Post subject: Re: Sleepless night
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 3:11 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 27, 2014 7:30 pm
Posts: 6
That sounds perfect mrs mum, and I really hope to be feeling like you this time next year. It's definitely true about technology helping to keep in touch in a non-pressured way. I love seeing my nephew's updates on Facebook about what he's done in his first year at uni - if my daughter does half the things he did she will have a fab time! The best was when his relationship status changed to 'in a relationship'. He was always the most shy and awkward boy but he has found love and blossomed and his posts are full of lovely romantic pictures of him and his girlfriend!


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