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 Post subject: DIY or pay a tutor?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 11:28 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 23, 2009 12:06 pm
Posts: 209
Location: Rugby
Having just been through the DIY 11+ route I am evaluating the whole process. Being a teacher and willing to spend huge numbers of hours working on learning the 11+ myself in order to teach my DD, I am left with a few nagging doubts. Although it was a very rewarding process to teach my DD the 11+, it was very difficult. I think it was a combination of love and hate at times and sheer stubborness on my part.

I probably spent about 3 - 5 hours researching and planning for every hour I taught DD.
Approx 200 hours of my time (much of it on this website) in one year.
Hours of arguments between DD and myself.
DW is convinced I am obsessed with 11+
A great experience, and glad it is over.

Was it worth all of the effort, or should I have gone to a tutor?
I think in hindsight, I should have employed a tutor and done some additional support myself.

Has anyone else had similar of different experiences?

To DIY or not to DIY, that is the question?

What do tutors recommend? (Apart from the obvious answer).

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 Post subject: Re: DIY or pay a tutor?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 11:33 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:32 pm
Posts: 6966
Location: East Kent
For me it boils down to how well you and your your child work together.

Some children like the time spent with a parent, for others they respond better to someone else...

I have loads of patience with other peoples children, but not my own...! :evil: :evil:


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 Post subject: Re: DIY or pay a tutor?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 11:36 am 
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Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2009 1:51 am
Posts: 1161
i really enjoyed the DIY route. My dd and i definetly bonded throughout and have remained very close and i think the hours spent working together contributed to this.

I did research before i taught but certainly not the hours tou talk off, it was more laid back. May be in your area you were tutoring for superselectives? This was not so for my dd. I knew she just need a bit above a pass so would treat the DIYing as just part of the normal day - not done at weekends.

We argued occasionally but it was not the norm for us.
I asked her at the start if she wanted to go down this route and told her what it would involve. I said it would need extra work and she kept to her side of the bargain so thoughtout i just felt very proud of her.


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 Post subject: Re: DIY or pay a tutor?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 1:06 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:47 pm
Posts: 698
Location: Essex
Depends on your confidence in your own ability and on the relationship between you and your DC.

I tutored DS and we got the result we wanted without any arguing. It surprised me just how enthusiastic and biddable DS was as his teachers got little from him in school. A private tutor may or may not have worked for him. I liked knowing how he was progressing and the insights into the workings of his mind. Home tuition meant that we could shoehorn sessions in around our other activities more easily. He didn't have to give up any activities.


Last edited by First-timer on Tue Nov 23, 2010 9:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: DIY or pay a tutor?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 4:39 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2009 1:51 am
Posts: 1161
First-timer wrote:
. Home tuition meant that we could shoehorn sessions in around our other activities more easily. He didn't have to give up any activities.

...


yes i liked the DIY route because of this - we would just fit it in after the park, a scoical event or an out of school club


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 Post subject: Re: DIY or pay a tutor?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 6:21 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 9:28 pm
Posts: 2439
I went down the paid route which worked for us. I was moved into a grammar school area towards the end of year 4 so had to learn quickly what it was all about. I got recommended a tutor who fortunately had a space. It was the best decision I took.

She didn't just prepare my son for the 11+, she prepared me as well. I was totally ignorant of what what it contained, the standard required etc. A combination of her (and everyone here on this site) got me and my DS through the whole process. I'll be honest, although I could probably do the maths, I would have no idea how to teach the NVR and VR.

I think that before getting a tutor, I naively thought that because my son is bright, he would have passed. Now I know that some preparation is needed and the route you decide, ie. DIY or paid depends on your personal circumstances. For me, the paid option worked.


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 Post subject: Re: DIY or pay a tutor?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 6:57 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 3:38 pm
Posts: 2083
Location: Maidstone
DarkEnergy wrote:
I think in hindsight, I should have employed a tutor and done some additional support myself.


In hindsight thats what I would have done too. I went down the DIY route too but my daughter is seeing tutors now so I can see the difference in her attitude.

We ploughed along and it was a lot of hours dedicated on my part to learn the ropes and her part too. She resisted at the start but realised it wasnt worth the fight so we carried on until her 11+ exams. After the 11+ exams I got her 2 tutors one for her English and the other for Maths and the difference is remarkable. She thinks her maths tutor is the best thing since sliced bread. She has seen her 4 times now and last week on wed and thursday she was doing maths on her own will with no homework :shock:

To say I was shocked is an understatement, she has never done anything like that before with me. Apparently she says her tutor explains things in a much better way than I did so she was just testing herself to see how much she understood. I thought my DD was fine with me but its only now I am seeing the change in attitude. The novelty will probaly wear off later but she never had that novelty with me. Saying that it is was a rewarding experince and I am aware of where she is and what areas she needs help with.

If I do the process again, I will get a tutor and supplement at home.

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 Post subject: Re: DIY or pay a tutor?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 7:17 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:59 am
Posts: 5922
I wonder if the answers would be different if you asked successful/non-successful 11+ candidates? The warm glow of bonding over Bond might be a little cooler if the child missed the pass mark; equally, if a child sailed in with the highest marks ever recorded, one might question selling the family silver to invest in an expensive tutor. I imagine the successful feel they did The Right Thing; the unsuccessful would probably change their tack, in retrospect.


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 Post subject: Re: DIY or pay a tutor?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 7:22 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:32 pm
Posts: 6966
Location: East Kent
when my children were going through 11+ we just did a pack of past papers and went over the ones they got wrong, explaining how to do it.

not sure that would work now.

when I tutor children these days I aim to improve the way they approach questions, speed them up on their mental maths and recall of facts , build vocab and confidence..in short more than just drill them to pass the Kent test


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 Post subject: Re: DIY or pay a tutor?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 7:51 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 3:38 pm
Posts: 2083
Location: Maidstone
Amber wrote:
I wonder if the answers would be different if you asked successful/non-successful 11+ candidates?


This definately affects how you feel, if you DIY a few papers and they whizz through why would you ever dream of employing a tutor? if you pay a tutor and they fail you probably think you could have done a better job yourself. Thats why I think marrying the two maybe the way to go but if that fails I am not sure who will get the blame :lol:

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