Whose choice?

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Tue May 26, 2009 1:27 pm

What do you do when you choose a school because you think its the right one for DC but DC wants to go to the other school and is claiming to be upset if you say no? If DC's choice is still good should they get their way or if they do not would they spend the next two years at prep school being unhappy because they have to prepare for a school they do not want to go to eventhough the parents would be convinced DC would thrive there? Assuming long conversations and pros and cons had been discussed with DC what would you do?

Post by **hermanmunster** » Tue May 26, 2009 1:36 pm

Tipsy, ultimately parents have to make the decision, they have the chequebook (or not as the case may be) , they jucggle the transport, they have to cope with the consequences if the school is the wrong one, so far better that is their choice in the first place

The main trick I think is to limit the choice in the first place - I know you've looked at lots of schools, and this is probably adding to your problems over this, but in reality most people only have a choice of a very few.
Parents have to do a very heavy sell on the one that they would like and manage to sideline the other gradually over time, preferably by hardly mentioning it!. Most kids will accept that they can't have everything they want and that sometimes the parents choice can turn out to be the best place after all.
The key probably is that the children trust the parents judgement enough to have their best interests (educationally or otherwise) at heart.

Guest55 · Post by **Guest55** » Tue May 26, 2009 1:37 pm

Personally I would let them choose if the other school is acceptable - I know people will disagree but, as a teacher, I have seen the effects of children being 'forced' to go to a school they do not want to go to.

I was allowed to choose between two GS at age 11 - I chose the newer mixed one - I'd probably not be a Mathematician if I had gone to the other one.

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Tue May 26, 2009 1:42 pm

I have looked at a lot of schools but we are now firmly down to two.

My main worry is the last two years of prep school being miserable for a child if they were desperate to go to school X. Ironically the school that would be right for DS1 would not be for DS2 but DS1's choice would be right for DS2!

Post by **hermanmunster** » Tue May 26, 2009 1:53 pm

T.i.p.s.y wrote: Ironically the school that would be right for DS1 would not be for DS2 but DS1's choice would be right for DS2!

you can't win! - at least it would be 50% right!!!

Snowdrops · Post by **Snowdrops** » Tue May 26, 2009 2:07 pm

I have to agree with Guest55.

If it's down to two schools I would let DS choose.

(but only on the proviso that there is nothing inherently wrong with either of them and you'd be more or less happy with whichever school won out in the end).

Ed's mum · Post by **Ed's mum** » Tue May 26, 2009 2:17 pm

Oh dear...

I agreed with Herman...

...and then I agreed with Guest55!!

Both have really valid points. Argh. Sorry Tipsy.

Will have a really good think about it.

Guest55 · Post by **Guest55** » Tue May 26, 2009 2:24 pm

That's the fun of being a parent AND a teacher - you have to see things from both sides - and you do not necessarily get the same answer

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Tue May 26, 2009 2:24 pm

Yes, who'd have thought I would have made a decision

but another problem crops up!

I'll leave it up to your imaginations to work out what one I picked!

Ed's mum · Post by **Ed's mum** » Tue May 26, 2009 2:26 pm

I insist that you PM me right away young lady!!!