Help with 6 year old who can't stop talking
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pixiequeen
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Help with 6 year old who can't stop talking
I wonder if anyone else has had this problem, or if anyone has any ideas on how to resolve it.
My 6.5 year old DD2 is very bright, and in a mixed Y1/Y2 class. When she was in YR the teacher always said how hard working and enthusiastic DD2 was. Last year (Y1) there were some comments (different teacher) about too much day dreaming, and in the last couple of weeks of this autumn term (same teacher), DD2 tells me she sometimes has to sit on a table on her own to do her work because she talks too much and distracts the other children.
I was going to approach the teacher about this but she went off sick and didn't come back until a couple of days before the end of term so I thought I would leave it until the new year.
At dinner today we were having a conversation about new year's resolutions and I suggested to my DD2 that less chatting and more concentrating at school might be a good idea and she replied that she just couldn't stop talking but the teacher had threatened to move her down a group (not sure if because the standard of her work is falling or so that she won't be with her friends.) if she couldn't stop.
I fully appreciate that my DD2 shouldn't be allowed to distract other children but I don't know how to help her. She can't stop talking at home either but I'm reluctant to squash what we view as an inquisitive mind, not a nuisance.
Any ideas on how to deal with this would be really appreciated . I'm worried that getting moved down a group would squash DD2's confidence and cause her to do less work, not more.
On a different note DD2 has got off to a less than fabulous start to the new year by spending part of the afternoon in casualty having her fingers bandaged after having put her hand in the hinge of the bedroom door just as DD3 slammed it....
I think you could have heard the screams on the other side of town...
Pixiequeen
My 6.5 year old DD2 is very bright, and in a mixed Y1/Y2 class. When she was in YR the teacher always said how hard working and enthusiastic DD2 was. Last year (Y1) there were some comments (different teacher) about too much day dreaming, and in the last couple of weeks of this autumn term (same teacher), DD2 tells me she sometimes has to sit on a table on her own to do her work because she talks too much and distracts the other children.
I was going to approach the teacher about this but she went off sick and didn't come back until a couple of days before the end of term so I thought I would leave it until the new year.
At dinner today we were having a conversation about new year's resolutions and I suggested to my DD2 that less chatting and more concentrating at school might be a good idea and she replied that she just couldn't stop talking but the teacher had threatened to move her down a group (not sure if because the standard of her work is falling or so that she won't be with her friends.) if she couldn't stop.
I fully appreciate that my DD2 shouldn't be allowed to distract other children but I don't know how to help her. She can't stop talking at home either but I'm reluctant to squash what we view as an inquisitive mind, not a nuisance.
Any ideas on how to deal with this would be really appreciated . I'm worried that getting moved down a group would squash DD2's confidence and cause her to do less work, not more.
On a different note DD2 has got off to a less than fabulous start to the new year by spending part of the afternoon in casualty having her fingers bandaged after having put her hand in the hinge of the bedroom door just as DD3 slammed it....
I think you could have heard the screams on the other side of town...Pixiequeen
We have a similar problem with DS2 - he just can't shut up, he lives his whole life with an almost constant running commentary!! It's not usually a problem at home and we have some interesting conversations but when it spills over into school there have been some issues.
He is OK in English and Maths lessons where they are streamed according to ability but in general lessons he has a tendancy to leave his work to make sure the other children on his table are getting on OK (bless him). At parents evening in Y3 the teacher was very sweet about it but asked us to tell him that it is her job to do the teaching and make sure everyone understands. Unfortunately, because he is such a good natured and easy going chap he tends to get put with either the less able or disruptive children which just makes his "problem" worse. He has been better in Y4 and seems more able to control himself - in fact he says the others on his table are disturbing him with their chatting! (Pot, kettle, black)
As punishments go, being asked to sit alone to work isn't so bad and may help to reinforce the message that chatting should be limited to the playground. If DS was sat on his own I would say something to him like "the others may not be such fast workers/may need more help/have to concentrate really hard etc which they find difficult if he is talking".
An informal word with the class teacher may help - it shouldn't be too much of a problem to experiment with seating arrangements to find something that works better (DS's teacher seems to move children round on a fairly regular basis).
He is OK in English and Maths lessons where they are streamed according to ability but in general lessons he has a tendancy to leave his work to make sure the other children on his table are getting on OK (bless him). At parents evening in Y3 the teacher was very sweet about it but asked us to tell him that it is her job to do the teaching and make sure everyone understands. Unfortunately, because he is such a good natured and easy going chap he tends to get put with either the less able or disruptive children which just makes his "problem" worse. He has been better in Y4 and seems more able to control himself - in fact he says the others on his table are disturbing him with their chatting! (Pot, kettle, black)
As punishments go, being asked to sit alone to work isn't so bad and may help to reinforce the message that chatting should be limited to the playground. If DS was sat on his own I would say something to him like "the others may not be such fast workers/may need more help/have to concentrate really hard etc which they find difficult if he is talking".
An informal word with the class teacher may help - it shouldn't be too much of a problem to experiment with seating arrangements to find something that works better (DS's teacher seems to move children round on a fairly regular basis).
DS has talked all the way through school. Some teachers isolated him and some teachers shouted. Nothing had any effect. He is now in y8 and I'm guessing exactly the same. The end of y7 report said that they hoped that with a bit more maturity he may learn when to be quiet!
I have tried being reasonable, reasoned with him; I have tried being cross, threatened him and finally at 13 I am trying bribery, but he said he doesn't want rewards for effort grades as he feels he should achieve this himself.
I have tried being reasonable, reasoned with him; I have tried being cross, threatened him and finally at 13 I am trying bribery, but he said he doesn't want rewards for effort grades as he feels he should achieve this himself.
You could be describing my son! He is constantly talking and has done all his life. He talks to himself all the time. I don't see it as a problem but when he had a tutor for the 11+ it annoyed him and he couldn't understand it at all and in fact got quite irritated by it and said that he must learn to be quiet because he isn't allowed to talk in the 11+!!! Yes he was quite well aware of that, thanks!andyb wrote:We have a similar problem with DS2 - he just can't shut up, he lives his whole life with an almost constant running commentary!!
His teachers have never mentioned it to me apart from his teacher this year (yr6) who said that he seemed to constantly talk through his thought processes, but I don't think she saw it as a problem. As far as I know he doesn't do it to the extent it's a problem at school.
Having children who have trouble concentrating and have suffered for years from others in the class chatting away I am delighted to see a parent of a chatterer taking it seriously 
If your DD is one of those who can chat & work then it must be difficult for her to see what the problem is. Presumably she would get her work done more quickly if she wasn't talking though? Is there something she likes doing that could be offered as a reward if/when she gets her work done - to a good standard obviously! - without talking? Have in mind some kind of interesting extension work of a kind she would enjoy.
Maybe as she gets older she will understand better that talking in class isn't so much 'naughty' as 'unkind' because it stops other people working. But that is difficult for a 6 year old to take on board.
I agree that moving her down a group doesn't seem like a very postitve response - not least because if the work is easy she will probably need to concentrate less!- sitting her by herself seems like a more measured response as it is actually dealing with the issue!
Also agree that you dont want to stop her talking at home but could you help her to practice working on a task without talking just for limited periods of time (not necessarily school work, just getting dressed, looking at a book, colouring etc) - maybe making sure she has plenty of time to chat afterwards
The difference between teaching methods in year R and KS1 may explain why this wasn't an issue before - the former is much less formal - so maybe DD needs gentle support in learning how to work in a more formal environment?
Bet your DD isn't the only 6 year old girl in the class who likes a good natter
If your DD is one of those who can chat & work then it must be difficult for her to see what the problem is. Presumably she would get her work done more quickly if she wasn't talking though? Is there something she likes doing that could be offered as a reward if/when she gets her work done - to a good standard obviously! - without talking? Have in mind some kind of interesting extension work of a kind she would enjoy.
Maybe as she gets older she will understand better that talking in class isn't so much 'naughty' as 'unkind' because it stops other people working. But that is difficult for a 6 year old to take on board.
I agree that moving her down a group doesn't seem like a very postitve response - not least because if the work is easy she will probably need to concentrate less!- sitting her by herself seems like a more measured response as it is actually dealing with the issue!
Also agree that you dont want to stop her talking at home but could you help her to practice working on a task without talking just for limited periods of time (not necessarily school work, just getting dressed, looking at a book, colouring etc) - maybe making sure she has plenty of time to chat afterwards
The difference between teaching methods in year R and KS1 may explain why this wasn't an issue before - the former is much less formal - so maybe DD needs gentle support in learning how to work in a more formal environment?
Bet your DD isn't the only 6 year old girl in the class who likes a good natter
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Sally-Anne
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I am glad to see someone else make that point, because DS2 has suffered at the hands of a chatterer in the past, and it really did affect his progress when he sat next to him.KB wrote:Maybe as she gets older she will understand better that talking in class isn't so much 'naughty' as 'unkind' because it stops other people working.
Personally I feel that people who talk non-stop as adults tend to come across as self-centred. I know a few people like that and I often find myself thinking: "Why do you assume that what you have to say is more interesting than what anyone else has to say?" (A couple of them bring to mind the phrase "verbal diarrhoea"!
) If only for those reasons, it is good to see parents taking it seriously, because I think it can be a social problem later in life.
Also agree that you dont want to stop her talking at home but could you help her to practice working on a task without talking just for limited periods of time (not necessarily school work, just getting dressed, looking at a book, colouring etc) - maybe making sure she has plenty of time to chat afterwards
I think that is very helpful advice, and I shall be using it "in reverse" with DS2, who tends to be very quiet around adults outside of the family. I shall brief him to say that "I would like you to join in the adults' conversation at least three times during lunch", or similar.
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pixiequeen
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Thank you every one for your replies. Hearing from those of you whose children have suffered by sitting near a chatterer has galvanised my resolve to deal with this. (I had been considering ignoring it and letting the teacher deal with it for better or worse but I think I need to get involved.) The child my DD2 chats to is one of her best friends and the girl's mum is a good friend so I would hate her to be feeling that my DD2 was preventing her child from achieving in class.
I think I will catch the teacher first thing on Weds. when school starts back and see if we can hatch a plot.
I will definitely have a go at asking her to complete a task at home in silence and I will try explaining to her about listening to other people and about conversations being two way affairs, as on reflection she does often talk over other people and not let them finish what they are saying.
Thanks again, everyone. It's so good to have a place to discuss these issues.
I think I will catch the teacher first thing on Weds. when school starts back and see if we can hatch a plot.
I am considering going straight in with the bribery via a sticker chart at home with a prize for 10 'no chatting' stickers. Obviously this will only work if the teacher is willing to give me feedback everyday about how much chatting has occurred.I have tried being reasonable, reasoned with him; I have tried being cross, threatened him and finally at 13 I am trying bribery
Only criticism of DD2's work has been that she works too slowly - so the chatting is presumably affecting her work as well as everyone elses. Unfortunately at the moment I don't think she can understand why she should do her 'best' work all the time rather than her 'good enough' work.If your DD is one of those who can chat & work then it must be difficult for her to see what the problem is. Presumably she would get her work done more quickly if she wasn't talking though?
I will definitely have a go at asking her to complete a task at home in silence and I will try explaining to her about listening to other people and about conversations being two way affairs, as on reflection she does often talk over other people and not let them finish what they are saying.
Thanks again, everyone. It's so good to have a place to discuss these issues.
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Sally-Anne
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Hi pixiequeen - early in one year we were told that DS1 was talking too much (though it wasn't as problematic as your situation) and then we found out that he was sitting next to his "bestest friend on the whole world" (they have literally known each other since the day they were born). They were separated and things improved dramatically - hope it helps.
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Sassie'sDad
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We've got one at Rugby too! He's ever so nice and very bright but an absolute nut for articulating all his anxieties in the most audible (constant) way. My dd showed real nerves about the end of term exams ( intended for internal purposes only) when she never had any probs with 11+, or entrance or scholarship. But everyone has been letting off with their nerves and the end of term exams have been a BIG DEAL!
On the last day I could stand it no longer and rang the school to say how stressd I was. They were very good and made a point of settling everyone. Have to admit I am glad more than 4 decades have passed since I was that (tender) age; but still young enough to wish I wasn't!
On the last day I could stand it no longer and rang the school to say how stressd I was. They were very good and made a point of settling everyone. Have to admit I am glad more than 4 decades have passed since I was that (tender) age; but still young enough to wish I wasn't!