Changing your mind
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Looking for help
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Changing your mind
Aaaaaaargh, offers all in, 1st choice and 2nd choice decided, and then......'Mum what if I want to do Law, not Maths' . Grrrrrrrrrr. Subject wise, probably ok but how does one go about changing at this late stage for September 2010 ? Help, I'm all out of ideas, daughter is driving me mad 
(ps I did tell her I thought Law was a good idea 
at the outset ). I have advised a year out 
Thanks from a thoroughly desperate mum x
(ps I did tell her I thought Law was a good idea at the outset ). I have advised a year out Thanks from a thoroughly desperate mum x
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Looking for help
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Thank you yoyo, I am beginning to feel that my life is becoming a pantomime 
. She is a very bright girl, and I think I have always known she has not been too sure what to do next, equally talented in both arts and science subjetcs, but to change her mind NOW 
I will tell her to stick to the plan, I think
. She is a very bright girl, and I think I have always known she has not been too sure what to do next, equally talented in both arts and science subjetcs, but to change her mind NOW I will tell her to stick to the plan, I think
I can't advise but can tell you of my experience.
I wasted a year doing Accountancy which I hated and then in panic swapped to Theology because I knew I could breeze it. I know I would have preferred English, Law or Psychology, so it was a big mistake and I will always regret it.
It is tough having to make these decisions when you don't really know much about the world and what is available.
With hindsight I should have taken a year if not more out and taking a degree was cheaper in my day. I don't now if there are currently finacial benefits for going next year but when their time comes I will encourage my children to take gap years unless they are really sure. Baring in mind that my DH also took the wrong degree.
I wasted a year doing Accountancy which I hated and then in panic swapped to Theology because I knew I could breeze it. I know I would have preferred English, Law or Psychology, so it was a big mistake and I will always regret it.
It is tough having to make these decisions when you don't really know much about the world and what is available.
With hindsight I should have taken a year if not more out and taking a degree was cheaper in my day. I don't now if there are currently finacial benefits for going next year but when their time comes I will encourage my children to take gap years unless they are really sure. Baring in mind that my DH also took the wrong degree.
AAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!! The world doesn't need any more lawyers!!! (although obviously I am biased having a Maths degree myself...)
Can you (calmly?) get to the bottom of why she's feeling like this? Plenty of people can start to panic at this stage if they feel stuck on a treadmill, giving up too many options too soon. Is she perhaps "good at Maths" without loving it, in which case the prospect of three years of advanced study is beginning to be scary.
Are there any possible joint honours courses within the same university that an offer could perhaps be transferred to (some do quite an interesting range of "Maths and.." options). Or some universities can be quite flexible about switching areas of study after the first year.
I would imagine it is too late to change subject completely for this September - after all, the various law admissions people will already have made their offers. It might be possible to ask for the current offers to be deferred for a year to give her time to think and perhaps try and get some relevant work experience in a law firm to see if that's really what she's interested in, but without burning her mathematical bridges just yet.
Maybe some proper careers advice (not that I know where you can get that) from someone completely outside the school might help to clarify what it is about law that has become attractive (the money? the fact that it's a new subject not done to death at school? watching Legally Blonde?) and whether there are in fact options in the Maths/ Science field that could also still appeal.
Don't panic - she needs her anxieties to be taken seriously rather than being pushed into something she's not convinced about, but perhaps she should be actively doing some research herself into the various options suggested above. If she doesn't want to put the extra work in at this stage it might just be a case of cold feet and last-minute panic about having to grow up and start making adult decisions for herself...
Best of luck!
Solimum
Can you (calmly?) get to the bottom of why she's feeling like this? Plenty of people can start to panic at this stage if they feel stuck on a treadmill, giving up too many options too soon. Is she perhaps "good at Maths" without loving it, in which case the prospect of three years of advanced study is beginning to be scary.
Are there any possible joint honours courses within the same university that an offer could perhaps be transferred to (some do quite an interesting range of "Maths and.." options). Or some universities can be quite flexible about switching areas of study after the first year.
I would imagine it is too late to change subject completely for this September - after all, the various law admissions people will already have made their offers. It might be possible to ask for the current offers to be deferred for a year to give her time to think and perhaps try and get some relevant work experience in a law firm to see if that's really what she's interested in, but without burning her mathematical bridges just yet.
Maybe some proper careers advice (not that I know where you can get that) from someone completely outside the school might help to clarify what it is about law that has become attractive (the money? the fact that it's a new subject not done to death at school? watching Legally Blonde?) and whether there are in fact options in the Maths/ Science field that could also still appeal.
Don't panic - she needs her anxieties to be taken seriously rather than being pushed into something she's not convinced about, but perhaps she should be actively doing some research herself into the various options suggested above. If she doesn't want to put the extra work in at this stage it might just be a case of cold feet and last-minute panic about having to grow up and start making adult decisions for herself...
Best of luck!
Solimum
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Oh solimum, do you know my daughter - Legally Blonde is her favourite. I have no idea where all this is coming from, I think she is a wee bit afraid of the future, and she is good at maths, but I think it doesn't really inspire her. She is also very good at History, and has been thinking a bit more about this I think, essay writing seems to be a strong point. I think I will encourage her to continue with her application fro this year, but if she doesn't want to go in September, then a gap year will be the order of the day, with some work experience to help her make up her mind.
Thanks for your advice, I agree, it would be awful to end up doing something you are not happy doing.
PS Tolstoy, I am an accountant, and after 20 or so years at it, I would say you made the right decision, getting out when you did , it doesn't get any more exciting
I have no idea where all this is coming from, I think she is a wee bit afraid of the future, and she is good at maths, but I think it doesn't really inspire her. She is also very good at History, and has been thinking a bit more about this I think, essay writing seems to be a strong point. I think I will encourage her to continue with her application fro this year, but if she doesn't want to go in September, then a gap year will be the order of the day, with some work experience to help her make up her mind. Thanks for your advice, I agree, it would be awful to end up doing something you are not happy doing.
PS Tolstoy, I am an accountant, and after 20 or so years at it, I would say you made the right decision, getting out when you did , it doesn't get any more exciting
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another mother
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Oh I can see us in this position all too soon!
Can't she do a law conversion course after a maths degree- and thus keep her options open. Friends of ours who are barristers advise doing a degree you care about before training. And say this makes you a better lawyer?! (I have no opinion on that but someone may!)
We have other friends whose dds have begun courses only to realise it's absolutely the wrong thing (architecture, Scot Lit, french) - it is unsettling and disturbing to leave (and a bit expensive) but NOT the end of the world. They've all reapplied and had or are having good partial gap years. You do lose time but life is not a race all the time - I feel they are all rather more mature for having done this.
Can't she do a law conversion course after a maths degree- and thus keep her options open. Friends of ours who are barristers advise doing a degree you care about before training. And say this makes you a better lawyer?! (I have no opinion on that but someone may!)
We have other friends whose dds have begun courses only to realise it's absolutely the wrong thing (architecture, Scot Lit, french) - it is unsettling and disturbing to leave (and a bit expensive) but NOT the end of the world. They've all reapplied and had or are having good partial gap years. You do lose time but life is not a race all the time - I feel they are all rather more mature for having done this.
I can only echo Tolstoy. I chose my degree subject because it was the one I found most difficult at school I was equally good at science and arts/humanities in terms of grades and should have chosen an arts subject. I was actually more talented and interested in the humanities etc.
Once at University, it never have occurred to me to "give up" my chosen degree. I struggled through, did not do as well as I should have and have never recovered my confidence.
I wish I'd had parents who could have helped me like you're helping your DD -- even just talking it through with someone who had some insight into life after education might have helped
I was equally good at science and arts/humanities in terms of grades and should have chosen an arts subject. I was actually more talented and interested in the humanities etc. Once at University, it never have occurred to me to "give up" my chosen degree. I struggled through, did not do as well as I should have and have never recovered my confidence.
I wish I'd had parents who could have helped me like you're helping your DD -- even just talking it through with someone who had some insight into life after education might have helped
PS Tolstoy, I am an accountant, and after 20 or so years at it, I would say you made the right decision, getting out when you did , it doesn't get any more exciting
Still don't know what I'm doing! I did do a law diploma after teaching for 5 years and it was definitely the right subject for me, unfortunately wrong time as children kind of knocked those dreams on the head.
I can relate to that Red it all started to go wrong for me when I tried to swap my biology A'level to English, the school weren't amenable and I didn't have the confidence to fight for it. Big mistake.Once at University, it never have occurred to me to "give up" my chosen degree. I struggled through, did not do as well as I should have and have never recovered my confidence.
I have a barrister friend who spends much of his time dealing with statistics and science - because he's got into a field of law dealing with medical disasters. I'm sure a degree in maths or science would have been useful to him! There's much to be said for another mother's suggestion.another mother wrote:Oh I can see us in this position all too soon!
Can't she do a law conversion course after a maths degree- and thus keep her options open. Friends of ours who are barristers advise doing a degree you care about before training. And say this makes you a better lawyer?! (I have no opinion on that but someone may!)