parents advice (Bucks)
Moderators: Section Moderators, Forum Moderators
parents advice (Bucks)
Hi all, Obviously new to the forum and we are looking for a little advice.
we would like to know if anyone can tell us what we can tell our son who has been crying himself to sleep every night since learning of an unsuccessful appeal ( we hope it was not because of us as we were awfully nervous and i in particular am not a good public speaker especially in a room with six strangers).
We are at a loss, we stupidly thought it was a forgone conclusion as he attained 120 in both of his papers,Had the backing of his head and recommendation of 2;2.
His predicted sats were high4's maybe 5's .
We know that it is a bit of a lottery but we honestly did not expect what happened next, Another lad in our sons class had his appeal on the same day,in the same building Also had the same predicted sats and 2;2recomendations but test scores of 119 and 116 was successful on appeal !.
Since learning this our sons teacher has urged us to contact the local authority and ask them for a reason.
We did not give the panel his reading age or spelling age as we were told that his school did not do these but now his teacher has told us that he is a 10.6 ( we cannot remember the name of the test as we are still a bit dizzy) and has been for two years, could this be the reason?( we cant understand how we were not told these before the appeal).
So please can anyone tell us how to explain our son how you can get a lower score and still be ahead of those who did better in the test.
Many thanks David
we would like to know if anyone can tell us what we can tell our son who has been crying himself to sleep every night since learning of an unsuccessful appeal ( we hope it was not because of us as we were awfully nervous and i in particular am not a good public speaker especially in a room with six strangers).
We are at a loss, we stupidly thought it was a forgone conclusion as he attained 120 in both of his papers,Had the backing of his head and recommendation of 2;2.
His predicted sats were high4's maybe 5's .
We know that it is a bit of a lottery but we honestly did not expect what happened next, Another lad in our sons class had his appeal on the same day,in the same building Also had the same predicted sats and 2;2recomendations but test scores of 119 and 116 was successful on appeal !.
Since learning this our sons teacher has urged us to contact the local authority and ask them for a reason.
We did not give the panel his reading age or spelling age as we were told that his school did not do these but now his teacher has told us that he is a 10.6 ( we cannot remember the name of the test as we are still a bit dizzy) and has been for two years, could this be the reason?( we cant understand how we were not told these before the appeal).
So please can anyone tell us how to explain our son how you can get a lower score and still be ahead of those who did better in the test.
Many thanks David
Re: parents advice
This is very sad. Sometimes things just don't work out.
I can only say that how your son deals with this is down to how you deal with it.
One of my children was top of HT list many years ago, passed elevenplus, went to grammar, was completely beaten at GCSE by a number of children who went to secondary school and who now are at school with him in sixth form.
Another child of ours had to leave school after just a few years but has an IQ of 143 - five years later he is catching up with his education, not smoothly by any means. However, he deserves to go to uni and we will get him there eventually.
Your son needs you to take control, move forward, think about twelve plus, maximise possibility of his doing well at school going to sixth form , uni, etc. Don't let him ever blame his not passing elenplus for what happens in his life.
Good luck
I can only say that how your son deals with this is down to how you deal with it.
One of my children was top of HT list many years ago, passed elevenplus, went to grammar, was completely beaten at GCSE by a number of children who went to secondary school and who now are at school with him in sixth form.
Another child of ours had to leave school after just a few years but has an IQ of 143 - five years later he is catching up with his education, not smoothly by any means. However, he deserves to go to uni and we will get him there eventually.
Your son needs you to take control, move forward, think about twelve plus, maximise possibility of his doing well at school going to sixth form , uni, etc. Don't let him ever blame his not passing elenplus for what happens in his life.
Good luck
Re: parents advice
Hello Dad66 or David, I don't have the knowledge to answer your questions but you have come to the right place as there are lots of brillant people here to help you.
I just wanted to give you a reply as your post was really heartwrenching.You sound like a super dad so don't think it is you and you must reiterate that to your son too.I don't know what area you live in? What are the other options for your son?
If only we had a crystal ball and knew what the future holds everything may still work out ok....your son sounds very bright... but that is no comfort at the moment, I know. Have you looked at the appeal section here?
Scarlett.
I just wanted to give you a reply as your post was really heartwrenching.You sound like a super dad so don't think it is you and you must reiterate that to your son too.I don't know what area you live in? What are the other options for your son?
If only we had a crystal ball and knew what the future holds everything may still work out ok....your son sounds very bright... but that is no comfort at the moment, I know. Have you looked at the appeal section here?
Scarlett.
Re: parents advice
Some good advice above - and there have been many on this forum who suffered bitter disappointment in the short term, but for whom things worked out really well in the longer term.
I doubt the lack of a reading or spelling age would have made much difference. I'd be more concerned about "high 4's maybe 5's," - straight level 5s would be a much better starting point for an appeal.
Not saying that either of the following cases resembles yours or the other family's - it's just an example of how a lower score might succeed at appeal:
http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/appeal ... aneous#e24" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Moreover, no two cases are ever identical. It's not even possible to attempt a comparison without having all the information. There may have been something in the other case (previous test scores, strength of comments from the school, something in school work shown to the panel, or something that came out of the question & answer session) that swayed the panel.
The class teacher means well, but under the Data Protection Act there's no way the authority can discuss someone else's case.
I doubt the lack of a reading or spelling age would have made much difference. I'd be more concerned about "high 4's maybe 5's," - straight level 5s would be a much better starting point for an appeal.
Not saying that either of the following cases resembles yours or the other family's - it's just an example of how a lower score might succeed at appeal:
http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/appeal ... aneous#e24" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Moreover, no two cases are ever identical. It's not even possible to attempt a comparison without having all the information. There may have been something in the other case (previous test scores, strength of comments from the school, something in school work shown to the panel, or something that came out of the question & answer session) that swayed the panel.
The class teacher means well, but under the Data Protection Act there's no way the authority can discuss someone else's case.
Etienne
Re: parents advice
Hi Dad66,
I was so sorry to read of your son's upset. I don't really have that much of use to offer except to say don't blame yourself or compare. You did your best by appealing and your son's friends may have had other circumstances to take into account that they would not reveal openly? For peace of mind I too would want to know the reason with such scores but also focus on what to do going forward and boosting your son's confidence so that he can see past this set back. I always find planning a strategy of what next helps in moments of stress whether that is the 12+ route or finding out what the positives of any alternative school might be.
Wishing you all the best.
I was so sorry to read of your son's upset. I don't really have that much of use to offer except to say don't blame yourself or compare. You did your best by appealing and your son's friends may have had other circumstances to take into account that they would not reveal openly? For peace of mind I too would want to know the reason with such scores but also focus on what to do going forward and boosting your son's confidence so that he can see past this set back. I always find planning a strategy of what next helps in moments of stress whether that is the 12+ route or finding out what the positives of any alternative school might be.
Wishing you all the best.
Re: parents advice (Bucks)
Hi all,
We would just like to say thanks for all your kind words they have helped a lot but i think it will be a while before our son will lose the pain of failure ( not in our eyes , in his own) and we wish we could take it from him.
We are going to ask to see the appeal notes but as you have said probrably to no avail but hopefully will show us what went wrong.
After another discussion with our sons teacher about his predicted sats he said he will probrably get fives but it is not guaranteed , we are amazed at this he is not guaranteed to get any mark so how did he come to the conclusion that he would get upper fours maybe fives?.
I hope that any other parents who read this that it is not a foregone conclusion and you realy need to get some good advice from this forum before going to appeal(wish we had found it earlier).
We are now thinking about the twelve +,do you think that this is a good route ?,we
are lucky where we live as we have two great grammer schools in our catchment and the one our son wants to go to has specialist status in all of our sons best subjects (math/science/sports)
He has always been in the top four pupils throughout ks2 and is on the gifted and talented register for sports.
Thank you for your time it really is a help to put it down in words.
David
We would just like to say thanks for all your kind words they have helped a lot but i think it will be a while before our son will lose the pain of failure ( not in our eyes , in his own) and we wish we could take it from him.
We are going to ask to see the appeal notes but as you have said probrably to no avail but hopefully will show us what went wrong.
After another discussion with our sons teacher about his predicted sats he said he will probrably get fives but it is not guaranteed , we are amazed at this he is not guaranteed to get any mark so how did he come to the conclusion that he would get upper fours maybe fives?.
I hope that any other parents who read this that it is not a foregone conclusion and you realy need to get some good advice from this forum before going to appeal(wish we had found it earlier).
We are now thinking about the twelve +,do you think that this is a good route ?,we
are lucky where we live as we have two great grammer schools in our catchment and the one our son wants to go to has specialist status in all of our sons best subjects (math/science/sports)
He has always been in the top four pupils throughout ks2 and is on the gifted and talented register for sports.
Thank you for your time it really is a help to put it down in words.
David
-
Sally-Anne
- Posts: 9235
- Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
- Location: Buckinghamshire
Re: parents advice (Bucks)
Hi David
I am also sorry to hear about the outcome of the appeal, and I hope your son bounces back soon.
There is a link to the 12+/13+ proces on the Bucks page of the website, here:
http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/school ... re-11-plus" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Sally-Anne
I am also sorry to hear about the outcome of the appeal, and I hope your son bounces back soon.
There is a link to the 12+/13+ proces on the Bucks page of the website, here:
http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/school ... re-11-plus" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Sally-Anne
Re: parents advice (Bucks)
Hi David/dad66,
So sorry to hear about the appeal, and how your son is feeling at the moment. It is awful to witness such disappointment in our children, when we know that they have tried so hard. You also did your best, and that is all any of us can do. There have been many stories like yours on here over the years, and it's amazing how often things work out for the best in the end. I think the advice to "plan the next move" is very sound and a positive way of moving forward.
I hope your little man is soon smiling again.
So sorry to hear about the appeal, and how your son is feeling at the moment. It is awful to witness such disappointment in our children, when we know that they have tried so hard. You also did your best, and that is all any of us can do. There have been many stories like yours on here over the years, and it's amazing how often things work out for the best in the end. I think the advice to "plan the next move" is very sound and a positive way of moving forward.
I hope your little man is soon smiling again.
Marylou
Re: parents advice (Bucks)
Dad66, we too lost an appeal for our DD three years ago. It was a really stressful experience and one that I would not wish to repeat. I wish I had known about this forum then as there is such good advice posted here. We decided to go down the indie route for our DD after this. Although we hadn't planned for such an expense, for us it was the right thing to do. Three years later and DD is doing really well and studying for her GCSE exams. At the time I couldn't understand why things happened the way they did, but now I can. This is the best school that our DD could be at and this was just meant to be. I really hope that things work out well for you and your DS and I am sure he will be happy and successful wherever he goes to school.
Re: parents advice (Bucks)
Hi All, Thought i would let all know how things panned out and also after a little advice !
As you can tell in the previous posts after all the heartache my little soldier eventually picked himself up and we managed to get him into a good secondary school that catered for his love of sport/science and maths however he was still adamant that he should be in the jhgs ,as that has always been his goal.
After taking some time out and thinking hard he decided that he wanted to do the 12+ ,which he did this year and passed , Yeeah !, I have never seen a grin as big or last as long as my little lads when we opened the letter and got his results and a big helping from him of "I told you i could do it !".
Happy days then ,,,not ! we recieved the letter this week informing us that he will not get a place as there are not enough spaces going ( we live 2 miles from jhgs and 0.6m from rgs) and the available spaces have gone to pupils nearer than us.
We will put him on the waiting list and we have been contacted by the rgs to ask if our little lad would like to take their entrance exam and go on their waiting list.
This is just a cautionary tale for those thinking about the 12+ that you will not be automatically given a place.
The advice i am after is that we have been sent an appeal pack to appeal the decision and a very nice lady at admissions bcc has told us to go for it and that we should take our little lad with us to give his side !, I will of course do anything that he decides but do you think it is worth it ?, i still have nightmares from the 11+ appeal.
So what do you think we should do ? all advice gratefully accepted.
kind regards
David
As you can tell in the previous posts after all the heartache my little soldier eventually picked himself up and we managed to get him into a good secondary school that catered for his love of sport/science and maths however he was still adamant that he should be in the jhgs ,as that has always been his goal.
After taking some time out and thinking hard he decided that he wanted to do the 12+ ,which he did this year and passed , Yeeah !, I have never seen a grin as big or last as long as my little lads when we opened the letter and got his results and a big helping from him of "I told you i could do it !".
Happy days then ,,,not ! we recieved the letter this week informing us that he will not get a place as there are not enough spaces going ( we live 2 miles from jhgs and 0.6m from rgs) and the available spaces have gone to pupils nearer than us.
We will put him on the waiting list and we have been contacted by the rgs to ask if our little lad would like to take their entrance exam and go on their waiting list.
This is just a cautionary tale for those thinking about the 12+ that you will not be automatically given a place.
The advice i am after is that we have been sent an appeal pack to appeal the decision and a very nice lady at admissions bcc has told us to go for it and that we should take our little lad with us to give his side !, I will of course do anything that he decides but do you think it is worth it ?, i still have nightmares from the 11+ appeal.
So what do you think we should do ? all advice gratefully accepted.
kind regards
David
