Help? Accepted NL Consortium school today now DD crying

[susan65]

I realise that this must sound a very privileged sort of problem today, but we gave our acceptance form and cheque in at a North London Consortium Girls School today ahead of the Friday noon deadline and DD seemed happy and gung-ho at the time but all evening since then she has been crying her eyes out and saying she should have chosen another. Have you ever heard of anyone trying to reverse the decision and clawing back a place they have rejected? Shall I go cap in hand and telephone the rejected one first thing tomorrow?

[hermanmunster]

Have you find out why the change ? is it because a friend is going or something ?

Really difficult but can you be sure it is not just a whim and she won't change her mind back?

[Ellie]

Susan

If you have made the wrong choice, the school is likely to be fairly understanding and I would contact them as soon as possible because most of the consortium schools have a waiting list and the place will be filled. That will not necessarily be the case after Friday's deadline.

Good luck

[susan65]

Thank you for replying so quickly!

I think the problem is that both schools are so nice - though very different - so it is hard to compare "like with like". Maybe the crying is a sort of nervous reaction to the whole exhausting process and shock of having to make a decision where, whichever alternative you choose, you have to give up one nice option? She does have at least one friend going to each school.

[CoolMum5]

I think other children can put DS's and DD's off their chosen school - this has happened to a friend of ours - a bit of teasing in the playground really upset her DD. It's all rather overwhelming for the children who have sat the 11+ they might be the only ones going to their school or they may be contending with jealousy from other kids- it might just be that they see it as a huge step and have become anxious. As a previous poster has said, it's best to try and find out why DD has had a change of heart. I really hope your DD feels happier about her school soon.

[parkway]

Hi, I don't know if this helps but my dd had a total meltdown at the weekend as if the whole process had finally just got the better of her. I thought she'd be over the moon with her offers but she turned into a twin to my 3 year old for about 4 hours and then became herself again (thank god) Could your dd just be having a bit of an emotional release and hopefully after a good nights sleep she'll feel better about the choice? Maybe you could see if she wants to re visit NLCS and she might get excited about it again? I hope she brightens up again soon, best wishes

[Dexmum]

oh susan......poor kid. I think it is all too much for them (and us!) We are turning down a school that I love tomorrow (it is just too far away and we cannot imagine DD commuting so far with bags etc) and I feel like crying. I am so emotionally spent from the waiting and worrying. Give her a good night's sleep. If you feel the correct decision has been made, you should stay with it!! I feel like my DD has not been herself for months and I am really looking forward to getting her back!!

[susan65]

Thanks for all your replies - they are very helpful indeed. I think you are right about the "meltdown" - this is a kind of emotional release from all the tension that has been building since, well, November when we had to apply to the schools! I think because I have tried to be very even-handed in praising all the schools we applied for, so that she would not be disappointed if she did not get any particular one, it is now harder to "let go" of them.

Anyway, she is asleep tomorrow and I will see how things are in the morning.

Wishing you all the very best.

[bethany]

How are things today in your house susan65? Are you and your DD feeling any better?

I hope you have reached a final decision on schools...

It is really tough for our kids (and us parents) to go through this stressful process and still have to carry on with school and life as normal, when they/we are acutely aware that big changes are on the horizon with secondary school. My DD has had to put up with a bit of teasing at school about being an egg-head and a geek because she got all of her offers, which has upset her a little bit, as its not something she has had to deal with before.

Let us know what happens and take care. I'm sure you wherever your DD goes she will shine.

[JGBallard]

I did ask the question about how schools deal with the results period, I think they do have some responsibility to speak to children in year 6 about teasing that can happen for those who are successful as well as those who aren't...it is something they can assume will happen. I have said my DD has been asked excessively about which schools she got..she has only told when asked, another girl in her class didn't get any offers and she has just resorted to saying she hasn't got her results yet..sad I think. Te whole process is so up and down for most and can be quite hard on e children, not nice to deal with ANY rejecton when they have worked so hard. My DD didn't get all her offers but did get most and the ones she got were the ones she wanted so happy overall but it still wasn't nice having to tell her about the ones she didn't get (she didn't seem too bothered as we really talked the others up ).One girl in her class did get all offers and she was the one that would ring everyone up to see how they did. I probably wouldn't have let my DD do that.
All be over soon ..I am sure you are very proud of your DD and I am sure she worked hard to achieve her success. Well Done.