Halting all stress!

[reeyah]

Hi All!

I've decided to stop all tuition and just do a few fun bits whilst leading up to the Examinations. Think this level of anxiety is ridiculous..! The level of work parents seem to be doing is getting beyond control I think. I received the sample questions today, which seem to have an imbalance ( I'm sure the real one won't, but it's made me think!). The maths is tricky, whilst the NVR and VR is ridiculously easy.

The whole system needs an overhaul. To me it looks as if perfectly capable students cannot get through to the Grammar schools, just because others have 'trained' their children 'til the cows come home . The Grammar School Consortium keep saying they don't encourage 'intensive tuition', yet the GL Assessment Papers are produced by same people???? Or have I got that wrong??? This whole thing is just a money making system.

So if my DS doesn't pass, I'm not going to be gutted. HG is fine and I'm glad I live a minute away from it! Phew. Feel much better now that is all off my chest!

[anxious_mother]

That's an interesting explanation reeyah,
Had a concern about Hands...Grammar We attended the open evening and I'm sure u must have. The Headteacher was saying " earlier on we saw only VR score but now due to competition we will see all the others as well". I am worried for this school as well bcoz DS is not very good in English. what r ur thoughts on this ?

[no_ball]

Brings back strong memories from last year, natural feelings all linked to conflict and wanting the best for ones dc

[reeyah]

That's an interesting explanation reeyah,
Had a concern about Hands...Grammar We attended the open evening and I'm sure u must have. The Headteacher was saying " earlier on we saw only VR score but now due to competition we will see all the others as well". I am worried for this school as well bcoz DS is not very good in English. what r ur thoughts on this ?

Hi Anxious_mother

You will be shocked now, but I haven't visited ANY school!! I have literally just given up. A few weeks ago I was worried sick about everything, but after seeing how much intense work is going on with other children, I fear my DS has no hope . As for Handsworth, I wouldn't send my DS there anyway. We have a parent from our school who has DS there for two years. She said it's an awful school with 'gang culture' feel to it. She said her son has been targeted for his mobile phone, something which shocked me. Plus, the school is too far fro
Hall Green, so I'd rather send my DS to a decent comp, rather than a 'poor man's Grammar school..
Omg, I've just realised I wrote HG!!! So sorry, I meant HALL GREEN school!!
You're right, they have always said they look at VR first. I'm surprised u were told that on the Open Eve. They must be getting an influx of applications now then. Do u live near any decent Comps at all?? I can't rem, did u say u live near Great Barr?

[reeyah]

Brings back strong memories from last year, natural feelings all linked to conflict and wanting the best for ones dc

Hi No_ball.

Yes, you're right. I want the best for my DS. I believed it was Grammar school for so long, that it feels like a big relief to admit to myself that it probably isn't. I was actually not going to let him sit the exam I decided against that notion as most of his friends will do, and I don't want him to think I didn't give him the opportunity.

[xumanah]

Plus, the school is too far fro
Hall Green, so I'd rather send my DS to a decent comp, rather than a 'poor man's Grammar school..

Thats what I used to hear from friends before my son got his place at Handsworth Grammar and now those same friends wish that their son/daughter had got a place at any grammar than the local comp.
Shame some people have this perception of it, but it sure beats the **** out of most local comps.

[anxious_mother]

Hi reeyah,
We live equidistant from BV and KE Aston. We donot have a decent comp. I'm afraid.
We were also thinking of moving to somewhere else if he doesn't get a place in grammar school.
let's see how things go.

[UmSusu]

I've decided to stop all tuition and just do a few fun bits whilst leading up to the Examinations. Think this level of anxiety is ridiculous..! The level of work parents seem to be doing is getting beyond control I think.

Hi Reeyah

I think the stress of the whole process is taking its toll on most parents now, especially on those of us who are going through it for the first time . Are we doing too much? Are we doing too little? Everyone else seems better prepared. If you saw the amount we did over the summer you would think we were crazy. On the other hand, if you saw what we did until then you would have laughed and told us we were kidding ourselves if we thought that was what was needed. Now, we are just too tired to do anything .

Some children get into grammars based on natural talent with some careful tuning. Others might start preparing 3 years ahead but not make it. Their fate is their fate. Your DS seems to be doing very well. You have nothing to lose and it makes no difference what everyone else is doing. If you have a decent local comp, that is great. If, like me, you don't have that choice then even the 'poor man's grammar' you mentioned will do very nicely thank you - with over 1000 applications for 120 places at HG, there are no garuntees that we will even get a place there.

I think the panic is setting in now because there is very little we can do to change their chances at this stage. At the end of the day we want what is best for them - it may be grammar it may not, so let us try to get over these next weeks without giving up. It may not be for everyone, but I found prayer helps to get things in perspective (I am reminding myself here more than anyone else )

[UmSusu]

Brings back strong memories from last year, natural feelings all linked to conflict and wanting the best for ones dc

Do you have any words of wisdom for this years anxious parents no_ball?

[anxious_mother]

Hi UmSusu,
You are absolutely right in saying that prayer helps which is what we are doing day and night. After visiting HG we also felt that we had less chance for our DS getting there bcoz now they've decided to see all subjects. Composition is his weakest and in maths he is doing many careless errors.
My neighbor's son who eventually got into CH told me that HG exam was as tough as CH and that he did not qualify there. Last year another friend's son who is in Aston now also said that HG was tough and so also was QM. So I think God only can work out which school is right for our kids. Being a first timer for our DS we feel equally confused and anxious.