Exam tomorrow and I feel sick with nerves

[misspiggy]

Hi all,
I'm surprised really at the way and feel and wondering why this is soo important for me and still can't quite work it out. This is my first child that will be sitting these exams I was'nt born and bought up in Bucks.

What is making me soo nervous? I have soo many thoughts running through my mind such as: have I prepared my DS sufficiently? Have I gone through the right material? desperately hoping he does'nt come down with a virus or get ill at the last minute which will put to waste all the hard work.... and on and on and on. Even a sneeze from him sets me off. Of course, he has no idea about how I feel. To him, I am just as calm as always (I hope)

Blimey, I never thought for one moment that it could be soo stressful. In fact it only seems like yesterday I was stressing about my own exams and here I am today nervous (probably more nervous) about the exams my DS is about to sit. I went to a comp myself, no grammar schools close to where I was bought up. Why then suddenly is grammar school soo important for me? Have I just got myself caught up in the whole thing?

Am I normal or am I just an obsessed, stressed out lunatic? when will all this end? on the 12th of this month when it's all over or does this stress just continue until we get the results?

I'm soo good at putting on a face that my DS asked whether he could do some vocab work with me last night (I know....even I was surprised!, he maybe getting withdrawal symptoms as I've tried soo hard to resist doing any VR with him the past couple of days) and I said 'I think you've worked soo hard and I'm soo proud of you that we'll give it a rest now'. In my mind I was thinking 'yes, lets go through every single word you've ever got wrong and make sure you know what they mean, then let me give you a paper so you can prove to me you're ready' . Sometimes, you've just got to hope that whatever you have taught your DC is sufficient and let go.

Wishing everyone on this board (well...actually your DC's) the best of luck for tomorrow.

Whatever the outcome, I must remember that I did my best (sorry, meant to read: 'whatever the outcome, I must remember that my DS did his best'.)

I will always be proud of him for the amount of effort he's put into this.

Blimey, I really do go on and on.

[jabba7]

Try not to be too stressed. I feel quite calm as we are here now and there is not a lot more we can do. It's less stressful now than a few weeks back when we are looking at weeks of work!

I believe in fate what ever is the best outcome for my DS will happen and all will be fine.

Good luck to all tomorrow maybe it be a good but fair test.

[svg123]

Don't worry. I don't think you can ever prepare and say I have covered 100%.
I remember when I was doing my engineering and would stand outside the examination room going though the pages as last minute preparation. I will always enter late in the room for the exam

Have faith in your DS/DD and make them calm and fill them with confidence.
This is exactly what I am doing with my DS.

I have realised that the best way to motivate him/her is to celebrate their every small success.

Good luck to us all and our DS/DD.

[Puzzled Mum]

Hi misspiggy, I was you this time last year. I felt more nervous about my DS taking the test than I ever did about my own tests. Like you, I went to a comprehensive, so no grammar background either, but we just felt that the particular grammar school we wanted was the best school all round for DS. You are perfectly normal - every parent on this forum will have felt / be feeling just like you are now. I liken it to a rollercoaster ride. The stress before the test, the wait for the results, the nerves the night before the results, the absolute joy when he received his favourable results, then utter disapointment when he wasn't offered the grammar school (we are ooc), then the stress of waiting lists and appeals, then the feeling that we'd won the lottery when he was offered a place on the 2nd round of allocations. Other people's rollercoaster rides will have different twists and turns and I really feel for everyone. After my DS took his tests, the parents were all waiting outside the hall and every single one of us hugged our children and were telling them how proud of them we were and I can honestly say that, at that moment, I didn't care if he passed or not, I was just so proud of him and the effort he'd put in and I know he did his best and that's all you can ever ask. Good luck to your DS and all the other DCs for tomorrow .... and have a big glass of wine tomorrow night!!

[misspiggy]

Thank you all. It is nice to know I'm not alone in the way I feel. I will try to relax now. I think tonight I'll take out the Monopoly board and have a family game with no mention of the exams (although even that gets stressful when my DS age 1 tips the board over halfway, DD is accused of cheating by DS, the banker is'nt paying attention to the fact that some of the money has disappeared and my DS 1 runs off with a house and decides that it's real place should be inside the DVD player!)

Once again, thank you for taking the time to respond and the best of luck to all of your DC's.

[crunchie]

Hi,

I know exactly how you feel. It has been very stressful. The stress is even greater when you have a child who did very well in the practice papers at school and you just hope that they can achieve the same results in the "real thing" or whether nerves will get the better of them. I have done everything possible to ensure they are well prepared and I could not have done anymore. I keep telling myself what will be will be.

[SingleDad]

Same here!!!

This too is my first time of putting a child through the tortures of 11+. Work began at the end of last year, and tomorrow seems to have come around quickly! It's been a tough year. Not knowing what's involved, researching and making the decision about whether to 'DIY' tutor or not, sticking by my guns once I'd made that decision, learning Verbal Reasoning and how it 'works', the question types, the different papers, and so on....

I've had days where I'm as high as a kite, believing that my daughter will get through. Then I've had days where I'm resigned to thinking that she will not get into a Grammar school. It's been a thought provoking year!

Tonight we're going to put the papers on a shelf, get some popcorn, cuddle up and watch a film. I'm so immensley proud of how hard my daughter has worked. I certainly didn't work this hard when I was her age (having gone to a Comprehensive). It can't be easy for our children. I've learned to accept that if she doesn't pass, then she probably isn't 'Grammar material', in which case she will end up going to a school more suited to her, where I'm sure that if she puts in the same effort as she has this last year, she will still be successful.

Hope everyone and their children has a relaxing evening tonight, followed by a great day tomorrow.

Best regards,

[scary mum]

It's my third time, and I'm sorry to say it gets no better!! I would just like it to be over now - all our DCs have done as much as they can. It's a lot to expect of a 10/11 year old. This time next week we can all celebrate and then relax. Actually, I hate to tell you, but results day is MUCH worse

[crunchie]

I wish the LA would send the results via e-mail. They do this for the allocation of school places in March! Oh well November 25th will be a very, very long morning/afternoon.

[misspiggy]

Thanks all for your replies, but I also realised (in the selfish state of mind I was in) that I missed one very important point from my first post above. I have to say a very big thank you to this forum. I had no clue where to start or what the 11 plus in Bucks consisted of until I found this site (in fact I had gone out and purchased NVR, maths and Bond books!) This site, everyone's contributions and most of all Patricia's advice on relevant material gave me the confidence to DIY.

Here's to a relaxing evening for all