I'm worried I'm not Being Realistic !

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scarlett
Posts: 3664
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 10:22 am

I'm worried I'm not Being Realistic !

Post by scarlett »

I'm having a slight wobbly over DS2 and his 11 plus prep. I decided to give him some mock papers and timed him just to get a starting point really and I'm regretting it now..was it too early ? Anyway, I gave him a VR and Maths GL Assessment paper .He left 2 questions out from each so did manage the time pretty well . He scored 60 % in the VR and we highlighted from that the types he either didn't know or we need to cover in more detail ..but....in the maths he only scored 42 % and burst into tears...he is now on a real downer and I feel terrible. I feel pretty down about it too although after going through the paper I feel more positive as the marks lost were mainly due to silly mistakes / not reading the question or topics he didn't seem to know very well .

I know children are all different , but would you expect a better mark at this stage ? I'm wondering now if I'm being realistic and it's just too high a mountain to climb. Someone please tell me they had a similar experience ( and their child went on to pass ! )

Thanks. :)
Belinda
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 10:57 pm

Re: I'm worried I'm not Being Realistic !

Post by Belinda »

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Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 3:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
DenDe
Posts: 390
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2010 1:45 pm

Re: I'm worried I'm not Being Realistic !

Post by DenDe »

Poor you Scarlet, and poor DS. What a roller coaster 11+ prep is!

I wouldn't worry at all about marks like that at this stage, in fact I would be impressed he managed to almost finish the papers.

I home tutored my DS and DD for the exams in 2010. They are both in Yr 7 at grammar (as, I think your eldest is ?) and although it is quite hard to remember specific grades now for practice tests i do remember that DS in particular was very erratic, particularly as he made so many silly mistakes. I do particularly remember one NVR paper that he had a complete meltdown in - got less than 50%- ended up crying etc. When we got the results of one of his actual tests he finished in the top few who sat it and his best score was NVR :roll:

If I were you I would leave the papers for a while and go back to individual questions to take the pressure off you both. You've got plenty of time :)

I've got 2 more to put through yet so am girding my loins for that. They're both girls though - might be easier!
dani*
Posts: 298
Joined: Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:40 pm

Re: I'm worried I'm not Being Realistic !

Post by dani* »

I started far too late with my practice papers... 3 week of August for a September test so I'm not in a position to comment.

However, considering you have now done the paper I would suggest you go over it question by question and only a few a day, depending on how the child is coping. At this stage I would concentrate on "how to approach a question and understand how to work them out" and learn from the mistakes made rather than doing timed papers. At least it gives you a good indication as to which question types you both need to look at. Try not to get too stressed, there is plenty of time. Also, remember that depending on where you live it is unlikely that all questions in the real paper will be of the same level as the practice papers.

All the best.
scarlett
Posts: 3664
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 10:22 am

Re: I'm worried I'm not Being Realistic !

Post by scarlett »

Thank you Belinda, Dende and Dani . I think I'm just worried that there seems so much to cover and I know teaching at his school was very erratic last year which is making me think there is just too much I need to teach him....I've just had another look through the paper and he did get the first 12 questions right and then all the middle ones wrong and then the last few right ..probably when he realised he was nearly finished ! So, perhaps it was all too much .I think I will just go over each topic ..it's just that he's really huffy and tearful now if I even suggest doing anything .I hope I haven't ruined it all :(
scary mum
Posts: 8840
Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:45 pm

Re: I'm worried I'm not Being Realistic !

Post by scary mum »

Poor Scarlett and young master scarlett.

If you were in Bucks I would say it is very early to do a timed paper,but as you know, we only have verbal reasoning and so most don't do timedpapers until the summer. I would back off for a litle while, particularly with the maths and maybe just play mental maths games so he doesn't realise he's working on his maths. When did you do timed papers with DS1? Think back about how far he came in a short time - I know you shouldn't compare children, but it might help you realsie you haven't such a huge mountain to climb. I sense from this and other postings that you aren't 100% convinced that the 11plus is the right thing for this DS, but again, think back to how you felt for DS1 2 years ago. Good luck.
scary mum
scarlett
Posts: 3664
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 10:22 am

Re: I'm worried I'm not Being Realistic !

Post by scarlett »

Thanks Unscary. It's funny but I think I've traumatically blocked out any recollection of DS1 and when I started papers etc.....either that or the stress is leading to early onset dementia. :shock:

DS2 has really come on already, so I'm sure all will be ok. It's so emotional and he's such a different character to DS1 it's harder to sit down and work with him as he's very emotional too.I think it's harder doing it without a tutor too as I haven't really got a structured plan or any benchmarks as such and so there's a tendency to go overboard on it all.

I think I might have to rein myself in a bit as I'm worried he knows I'm stressing...he also wants to go to the same school as DS1 so will need more then a basic pass...the pressure !!!
fatbananas
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Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:03 pm

Re: I'm worried I'm not Being Realistic !

Post by fatbananas »

I think that mark shows he's already nearly half way there! Doing lots of practice is supposed to highlight in which particular areas DC make careless mistakes (because they all do), it draws their attention to it and they learn from that. No-one is supposed to get a high mark at this stage otherwise there would be nothing else to learn. I expect there is more anxiety around because DS1 has already done it and there is something, to some extent, to 'live up to'. I wonder if DS2 needs lots of confidence boosting. I feel a bit funny giving you any advice because I think you're a brilliant mum and I'm sure you've thought of this, but howabout going through one or two of the areas he's struggling with/ making silly mistakes with and focus on those til he's got it because that might give him the confidence that he can do it; that he has the capacity.

I'm sure nothing's ruined. Perhaps just breaking it down into smaller topic areas for a bit will make it seem more manageable/ possible for him. If he can achieve in one area, he might feel he can achieve in others?
Seize the day ... before it seizes you.
scarlett
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Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 10:22 am

Re: I'm worried I'm not Being Realistic !

Post by scarlett »

Oooh crossed posts FB !! Thanks for those words of comfort. :D Yes, I've decided to go through each topic and just give him the questions related to that and then hopefully when he does the next paper he will feel buoyed up by the leap in scores. :? After he finished the maths paper I just announced let's go and see War horse ...at 8 pm !...but we both sat through it bawling which I think was a bit of a release of it all ( although WH is very moving )DS1 moved and sat next to an old granny :lol: . It's so strange how this whole process brings out such an array of emotions .....
fatbananas
Posts: 1411
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:03 pm

Re: I'm worried I'm not Being Realistic !

Post by fatbananas »

I cannot 'do' Morpurgo. The pages dissolve under the weight of my tears. To the extent that, even DS, who was also moved, asked 'errr, are you ok mum?'. :oops: :lol:
Seize the day ... before it seizes you.
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