Son having trouble at school recently, refusing help.

Advice on Special Needs and the 11 Plus Exams

Moderators: Section Moderators, Forum Moderators

Devoted-dad
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:23 pm

Son having trouble at school recently, refusing help.

Post by Devoted-dad »

Hello all,
A new to this site. My ds who has statement, has been lately having trouble with school (not listening, refusing to one-to-one help from assistant tutors, and teachers as well.
He doesnt responds to authoritative and negative remarks kindly, and his defensive and gets moody...and i i believe this is because of his disability or SEN situation.
So far hes been sent home from school by the deputy on 2 occassions, and spent home few days (3days, and 4 days = total 7/8 days)
I have read sen exclusion .ipsea.org and ACE... i have set meeting with headteacher on monday. I dont know wat course of actio to embark on, write a letter to school governors or discuss berbally the rights of DS with HT?
My worry is i have three other children at the school, and so we re very careful not to spoil our school-home relation.
I therefore look forward to hear from everybody who has experience as parent with SEN child or professional person. Thank you
mystery
Posts: 8927
Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:56 pm

Re: Son having trouble at school recently, refusing help.

Post by mystery »

Do you have a "Parent Partnership" in your area who can help? They may have someone experienced in the relevant areas who can actually go with you to school meetings and help to maintain good relations as well as advocate for you and your son. Or have you already tried that and had not luck? Usually if it's not clear on the LA website you can find out from the SEN section at your LA.

Good luck on Monday. Just treat it as the start of a long negotiation rather than expecting to come out on Monday with everything sorted (or not). Does your son like or resent being sent home?
Devoted-dad
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:23 pm

Re: Son having trouble at school recently, refusing help.

Post by Devoted-dad »

thank u mystery, yes we have parent partnership in our area, but we havent yet contacted them, just incase the school felt threatened by thier presence, but i have prepared a good statement from us, praising the teachers and other staff for their fantastic job...but also i want stand by DS and hes lovely but i think the deputy head is not helping the situation...
we'll suggest if they need further help from LA, in funding, training, etc..then we re prepared to raise this issues with LA..
we re also thinkin of contacting ACE, and IPSEA.. to get thier views and opinion...
DS says he doesnt like the school anymore..and wishes to go back to his old school, which is much closer to us, but we have other 3 children in the school.. :(
I hope it works out and thanking u for your views...
mystery
Posts: 8927
Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:56 pm

Re: Son having trouble at school recently, refusing help.

Post by mystery »

Is it an exclusion when they send him home - the number of days you say sounds long unless he has done something terrible? Does he want to be sent home so is doing more of whatever it is that the school sends him home for? Maybe if this is the case you could say that to the school and they'll come up with something else. Can you get to the bottom of what your son prefers about the other school? At which one was he doing better academically? Would it really be impossible to use two schools? Tricky I know, but is it possible?
Devoted-dad
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:23 pm

Re: Son having trouble at school recently, refusing help.

Post by Devoted-dad »

hello again,
i really dnt know, if its exclusion or the begginning of exclusion but we dont want the school to make a habit of it, sendin him for every little rattles etc... when hes sent home, all he does is sit on PC and play games and this is detrimental to him eventually..he was popular with every teacher and i guess he got away with littles mishaps here and there...and hence we wasnt punished or told off..maybe this is why he prefers the old school..using two schools..i dnt know but our focus now is to stop school sendng him home for every and little annoyance to thier systems..i hope we got to the bottom of this on monday..and i shall fill update u all...
Guest55
Posts: 16254
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:21 pm

Re: Son having trouble at school recently, refusing help.

Post by Guest55 »

Sounds very upsetting - a school should be able to cope with a statemented child without the need to send him home.

Is he getting the support he should have in his statement?

You may not wish to post what his statement is for but if it is for autism or similar then they should have behaviour strategies in place. An LSA does not need to be 'glued' to his elbow and should allow him to access the curriculum in the classroom.
Fran17
Posts: 1440
Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 10:16 pm

Re: Son having trouble at school recently, refusing help.

Post by Fran17 »

mystery wrote:Good luck on Monday. Just treat it as the start of a long negotiation rather than expecting to come out on Monday with everything sorted (or not).
Very wise words!

It must be very unsettling for you all. I hope you get things sorted.
yoyo123
Posts: 8099
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 3:32 pm
Location: East Kent

Re: Son having trouble at school recently, refusing help.

Post by yoyo123 »

a difficult situation, I think it would be a good idea to contact parent partnership. They are very helpful.

Is the school just sending him home or is it being done officially as exclusions? Parent partnership will be bale to tell you your rights and can come to meetings with you if necessary. When I was a senco, I found that they were very fair and I used to pass details on to parents. I certainly never felt that it was a threat.

good luck with your meeting.
Etienne
Posts: 8978
Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2005 6:26 pm

Re: Son having trouble at school recently, refusing help.

Post by Etienne »

I agree - your first step should be to discuss your concerns with Parent Partnership.
Etienne
Devoted-dad
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:23 pm

Re: Son having trouble at school recently, refusing help.

Post by Devoted-dad »

Mornin all... many thanks for your support and views..for yoyo123...i think the meeting is scheduled on monday morning and so i guess it will be hard to arrange parent partnership to company us..but we shall contact them after and keep them informed, incase the scenario repeats itself.
yes, since hes statemented, shouldnt be sent home whenever he frustrates the deputy, and now it happened on 3 occassions..if they feel that he needs behavioural coaching then they should be asking for review of his statement with help of educational psychologist..
anyone with ideas how to address headteachers' monday meeting and what should be the content of our message to the school, plse fell free to say.
our approach is see if they can be settled quitely and collaboratively with causing too much of sesmic shocks to the school,,so that the god relationship that we have built with school continues, but if they attitude is macho, then we shall seek advice of parent partnership, IPSEA, and ACE..where appropriate..
Any advices, experiences, plse feel free...Thank u all again.. :)
Post Reply
11 Plus Mocks - Practise the real exam experience - Book Now