the Guardian "What I'm really thinking"

[999 mum]

Hi,

I found this in yesterday's paper.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/ ... vate-tutor" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Do all/majority of tutors feel like this?

[vasu]

I was tutoring this boy from a top superselective GS for GCSE Biology. Now this boy was smart but hated Biology. Mother wished him to get an A*. I tried telling her that getting an A* is a remote possibility. That boy was completely uninterested in doing Biology Tutions. He was sullen and unresponsive the whole year. And in the end He he did get an A! The mother put the whole blame on me. She did not even call to tell me his grade! Hmmm that just put me off tutoring.

[Waiting_For_Godot]

If anything could prove beyond doubt that tutors are only ever in it for themselves and not the children. To even describe a child with such contempt shows me that these tutors are less of a person than any child they try to teach.

[Fran17]

I think this particular tutor's attitude is very unprofessional and not what we have experienced. We have employed the help of two tutors over the years. One to help out with 11+ preparation and one for my eldest DS to help improve his maths. They were both extremely professional. When I first made contact with the 11+ tutor I made it clear that our aim was not to get our sons into grammar at all costs, we only wanted them to gain a place if they were capable of coping with the work, once there. She agreed wholeheartedly with this, she assessed them and came to the conclusion that in her opinion they were both capable. My eldest son's maths tutor assessed him and said his problem was that he lacked confidence and she felt he could improve greatly. He did! We were thrilled with both tutors and indeed I still keep in contact with them as they ask me to give them a call every now and then to let them know how the boys are doing.

In my experience, good tutors don't need to worry about losing work, as they tend to be highly sought after.

[Amber]

I have done quite a bit of tutoring but it has tended to be for children who are falling behind, for very specific medical or social reasons. I enjoy this a lot, because generally if one's child has missed 6 months of school with a serious illness, one's expectations are more geared to getting back on track than soaring ahead - the children I have tutored privately have nearly all been my pupils in school first, and then the parents approached me. Without exception everyone seems to have been happy at the end - I have lots of lovely cards and presents and a warm glow.

However, I also get approached on a fairly regular basis by other parents wanting 'extra' GCSE stuff or Primary Maths and English. I generally turn them all down, partly to be honest because I really do not want the hassle of burdensome expectations. Several of my friends have had very bad experiences - not just in tutoring but also music tuition - parents who are prepared to keep on shelling out for a child who has no inclination or aptitude and the poor teacher ends up getting the blame when s/he doesn't get the hoped-for result. I also do find tutoring very hard work - if someone is paying me then I do put a lot of individual preparation and angst into the whole thing, so I need to be sure that some kind of return is likely - I would feel terrible taking money off someone and then no improvement being forthcoming.

So my message would be, pick the pupils carefully - for me that means ones who have some kind of 'need' rather than just fond parents hoping that you will turn round some lazy little monkey or possibly a child who really cannot hope for more than they are currently achieving at school.

[KS10]

Not the best choice of words, I agree, but there are infuriating parents out there, just as there are infuriating teachers/tutors. My husband and I tutored our nephew (not for money, I hasten to add). OH could not bring himself to be completely honest whereas I had to try to choose my words carefully in case I was too harsh. The bottom line is that if you are sure that you can do nothing more for a child, don't take the money. I stopped tutoring a boy who needed extra help with French, not because he wasn't capable but because I had taught him the strategies and the rest was then up to him.

[aliportico]

Gosh, I certainly don't feel like that! I've been doing private maths tutoring for 4 or 5 years now, mostly GCSE but a few younger - have had the odd child or parent I haven't really got on with, but in those (2 I think) cases it has clearly been mutual and they have stopped fairly quickly. Most of my tutees are lovely These days I am very up front at the beginning that this will only work if the student wants to be there.

[Yummiemummie]

Just read article. To me reads like a spoof, just published to generate discussion. There something about the writing that doesn't seem genuine IMHO.