How do to deal with bad reference from DC's school

[KusKus Mum]

I hope you anyone can help on this forum. I have a 10 year old that goes to a state primary school. He was diagnosed with mild ADHD when he was in year 1. The school gave so much problem that I had to start the stalemating process. They got 1 to 1 support for 36 hrs. They have maintained this statement even though DC is doing well though he still gets distracted. They have placed him level 3 in math and English at the end of year 5 even though he was assessed to be in level 4 in English and 5 in Maths.

I have always wanted DC to go to an independent school as his brother went to independent primary and now in an independent secondary school. DC passed exams in year 5, was offered a place in year 6 in a very good independent school where he can stay till 18. His school head teacher called the school and gave him a very bad reference. The Headteacher had to ask what I did to the head teacher for her to be so vindictive. I was made to understand that they will loose the funding they are currently getting for my son if I remove him so the Head teacher will not let him go even though my son has suffered emotional distress , bullying which has impacted his confidence and behaviour.

He has done some exams and we are hopeful. He was invited for an interview in one of the schools for year 7 but the Headteacher called us to cancel the interview because of the very bad reference received from the school.

They said my son is only fit for the bad local comprehensive school beside us. I really don't know what to do as we did not enter him for the highly competitive grammar school exam beside us. He needs to be in a good school where he can rebuild and regain his confidence.
Please help !!!

[Reading Mum]

In the working world you are not allowed to give a bad reference - if you can't say something good you should refuse to give a reference at all.

I am shocked at the behaviour here and hope someone comes up with some practical suggestions.

[Booklady]

This is appalling behaviour on the part of the Head! Have you called the schools you applied to and explained what you believe is going on? Have you made an appointment to talk to your existing Head to ask them to explain what they are doing and why? I would think you should be talking with them - don't go on your own - take partner/friend as witness / backup! - and get a proper explanation!

Don't let it drop - if they are behaving like this unreasonably ask to make a formal complaint to the Chair of the Governors!

Good luck in getting the support you need.

[mystery]

"I have always wanted DC to go to an independent school as his brother went to independent primary and now in an independent secondary school. DC passed exams in year 5, was offered a place in year 6 in a very good independent school where he can stay till 18. His school head teacher called the school and gave him a very bad reference. The Headteacher had to ask what I did to the head teacher for her to be so vindictive. I was made to understand that they will loose the funding they are currently getting for my son if I remove him so the Head teacher will not let him go even though my son has suffered emotional distress , bullying which has impacted his confidence and behaviour."

Please could you must explain this bit - did you accept the year 6 offer referred to above or not?

[hermanmunster]

I didn't understand it either mystery - also are there actually 36 hrs of classroom time a week?

[KusKus Mum]

Soo sorry I am just getting back, I have been so depressed with all that's going on around my dc's school admission. . Thank you all for your comments and advice. Yes they get 36 hrs covering 1 to 1 support for playtime. They held on to this till year 6 even though my son sat the Bucks exam and all other exams without support. The school claimed he needed 1 to 1 help at all times. My husband and I had a word with the Headteacher and she said they have to answer specific questions in all the reference sent to them. I have complained to the Statementing officer without any luck.

Does anyone know if I can call the parent partnership to go with me to this meeting? I have emailed the school explaining my own side of the story but they never get back to me. They never even mention that my DC has a statement or any special needs in all the references they send to this schools.

Not sure what to do . I am desperately waiting for Bucks result. My DC has been crying . He has worked so hard for the Bucks exams and I know they don't need references for this schools.

[KusKus Mum]

@ hermermonster, Yes we accepted the offer but we had to withdraw after my Son HeadTeacher called the new school Head Teacher and gave a very bad reference.
The council also refuse to transfer the 1-2-1 support to his new school. It was really an emotional rollercoaster for everyone in my household including his brother.

[yoyo123]

Surely there was an annual review? What secondary school provision was worked out in his year 5 review.

What did CAMHS and the paediatrician involved report at the AR?

I am confused by the 36 hrs for playtime, over what period?

[mystery]

Sorry I'm still not clear. Did the independent school withdraw their offer as a result of the bad reference, or did you decide not to accept it? Sorry I'm still finding what you say rather ambiguous. Was the offer made in writing, and subject to reference?

I'm still unclear from your OP whether it is one, or two independent schools who have either not made, or withdrawn offers because of the headteacher reference. Did you lose deposits for these schools?

Please could you write down what happened and we might be able to say something that will help, but at the moment it is very unclear what actually has happened as a direct result of the bad references your current headteacher has given, and if you know what the reference actually says.

I presume that you can request the reference under the School Regulations ------ if you google around you can find advice on how to make a legal request to see your son's school file, and it should include the reference unless for some reason they are allowed to exclude this from what you see ... I can't see why they would be though.

What is "the meeting" you want parent partnership to go to with you? You have not explained this in either post.

Sorry to ask so many questions but until it is clearer it is hard for anyone to help, parent partnership included.

You can take parent partnership to any meeting you like, but my experience with them over the phone in our area is that they don't take notes, and they are not proactive, but I presume their presence helps give you a chance to be heard, and maybe means that the meeting will be pleasant and not unpleasant if you feel this head will ride roughshod over your wishes otherwise.

If you can afford private fees (can you, or will the LA be paying?) maybe it would be worth paying an Educational Psychologist to assess your son, and also view him at school, so you can provide this to the independent school to counteract the dodgy reference from your current headteacher.

[KusKus Mum]

@ Mystery, to answer your point , the school sent reference and called the HeadTeacher after admission . They started talking about the support as the school became scared after reading the HeadTeacher's reference. DC's present school called the new school several times and I guess they became fed up. The asked us to take my DC after just one day as the council did not agree to transfer his support so he had to go back to his school . The school refunded our money (deposit and the first term school fees and dinner money).
Someone suggested I reschedule a meeting with the Head teacher to discuss the references. This is the meeting I was referring to.

Yes , I have contacted an Educational Psychologist (Paid for by us) to assess my DCand he is working on this report now but he said he won't be able to do the work till January.
There was no representative from the council in the last AR and there has been no EP report for the past 3 years. There has been no report from SENCO Teacher to discuss his schooling option. The whole process has not been followed and I have to call and email several times just to get a response from the Council's Statementing officer who tells me that he will refer the case to panel.

I am really overwhelmed by the whole process