Crying At An Appeal....

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countrymum
Posts: 686
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:16 am

Crying At An Appeal....

Post by countrymum »

I need to ask this as has been weighing a little on my mind.
Feeling so passionate that my DD deserves her place for all the reasons I give in my evidence at appeal, I feel that I may not be able to hold back a tear or two.

Although I shall do my best not to let the emotions take over, in my closing/summing up I may just teeter on the edge of crying. Will I be looked at like an over emotional, desperate woman.

Do parents cry at appeals, any positives/negatives.
anotherdad
Posts: 1763
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 5:33 pm

Re: Crying At An Appeal....

Post by anotherdad »

Plenty do and I doubt it adds or detracts from the case one bit.
Etienne
Posts: 8978
Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2005 6:26 pm

Re: Crying At An Appeal....

Post by Etienne »

Do parents cry at appeals,
Yes, not infrequently. Panels are used to this, and tend to handle the situation well.
any positives/negatives.
If it's an 'act', it has to be said that panels are normally quite adept at distinguishing between what is and isn't genuine!

If it's genuine (as it usually is), panels will be sympathetic - but decisions have to be taken on the merits of the case.
Etienne
countrymum
Posts: 686
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:16 am

Re: Crying At An Appeal....

Post by countrymum »

anotherdad wrote:Plenty do and I doubt it adds or detracts from the case one bit.
Thanks anotherdad. I really hope so, I know is early days but have begun putting a little draft together of some things I may say, and always find I get a little 'emotional' at certain points. I can only be me, hopefully it is not me being judged. I just hope wouldn't go against her for any reason.
countrymum
Posts: 686
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:16 am

Re: Crying At An Appeal....

Post by countrymum »

Etienne wrote:
Do parents cry at appeals,
Yes, not infrequently. Panels are used to this, and tend to handle the situation well.
any positives/negatives.
If it's an 'act', it has to be said that panels are normally quite adept at distinguishing between what is and isn't genuine!

If it's genuine (as it usually is), panels will be sympathetic - but decisions have to be taken on the merits of the case.
Thanks Etienne, I don't know how crying at a time like this could be 'faked' as I am a wear heart on sleeve kind of person, but reassuring panels are understanding that parents do get emotional at appeals.
Sally-Anne
Posts: 9235
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire

Re: Crying At An Appeal....

Post by Sally-Anne »

countrymum wrote:Thanks Etienne, I don't know how crying at a time like this could be 'faked'
It happens - all sorts of theatrical antics have been known ...
Morning Glory
Posts: 310
Joined: Fri Jul 31, 2009 8:46 pm
Location: Bucks

Re: Crying At An Appeal....

Post by Morning Glory »

I had a very difficult appeal 2 years ago for my DS, I knew I could get very emotional but had a lot of complicated evidence to present. I didn't want the panel to be distracted by an emotional outburst so when I practiced I focused on putting my evidence across in a calm factual manner (almost taking the fact that I was talking about my DS out of the equation). During the appeal I managed to keep my emotionals in control until the summing up and then I started to get a bit emotional but I very calmly asked the panel if I could take a minute or two to compose myself. I took a couple of deep breaths, re- focused and continued. The panel were fine and I won the appeal.
countrymum
Posts: 686
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:16 am

Re: Crying At An Appeal....

Post by countrymum »

Sally-Anne wrote:
countrymum wrote:Thanks Etienne, I don't know how crying at a time like this could be 'faked'
It happens - all sorts of theatrical antics have been known ...
Shocking!
Etienne
Posts: 8978
Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2005 6:26 pm

Re: Crying At An Appeal....

Post by Etienne »

I am a wear heart on sleeve kind of person
I'm sure you are :)
- it doesn't mean that everyone is genuine.
As S-A indicates, there tend to be a few appellants who think they can cheat the system.

An excellent post from MG above.
Etienne
countrymum
Posts: 686
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:16 am

Re: Crying At An Appeal....

Post by countrymum »

Morning Glory wrote:I had a very difficult appeal 2 years ago for my DS, I knew I could get very emotional but had a lot of complicated evidence to present. I didn't want the panel to be distracted by an emotional outburst so when I practiced I focused on putting my evidence across in a calm factual manner (almost taking the fact that I was talking about my DS out of the equation). During the appeal I managed to keep my emotionals in control until the summing up and then I started to get a bit emotional but I very calmly asked the panel if I could take a minute or two to compose myself. I took a couple of deep breaths, re- focused and continued. The panel were fine and I won the appeal.
Thank you for sharing. I am quite comfortable and used to speaking in front of people, and can do my best to use my skills learnt to like you did, talk slowly, calmly, with control. But I shall have to work very hard to almost distance myself from the fact I am talking about my own DD. I have had to do some very emotional speeches/readings in the past where the audience were sobbing but I managed to hold it together. Just. Maybe I can do it! I think practice is the thing, but shall be taking the tissues just in case :wink:

I am so glad you won!
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