eleven plus

[jfj]

Hi, I have a question. My eldest daughter is already in year 7. My youngest will be taking the 11+ very soon. We think she has a good chance of passing, but has already told us she wants to go to the same school that her sister goes to (ie not the grammar). If we put down the grammar as our first choice and she does pass the 11+, but really does not want to go, what are our options? As a sibling she will get a place at her older sister's school. Can anyone help?

[Guest]

All LAs will be using equal preference from 2008, so you will have to decide ( if the 11+ result is not available in your area before the preference closing date) whether the school your older child is at is your preference over and above the grammar, or if the grammar is your overall preference - and rank the schools accordingly.
If you put the grammar first, and if she doesn't qualify then hopefully will go with sibling to preferred upper school to second ranked upper. The risk is if she qualifies and can be offered your preferred grammar and then doesn't want it, but then cant get a place at the lower ranked upper school.

Sorry, can't have your cake and eat it....

[Catherine]

hi jfj,

Sorry, but I am a bit perplexed here.
Why you would put the grammar first if you don't want it ?

[Sally-Anne]

Just guessing Catherine, but I suspect jfj thinks her daughter might be persuaded to change her mind if she passes the 11+ comfortably. Or change her own mind when she realises that all her friends are going to the GS!

[Guest]

Hi, I have a question. My eldest daughter is already in year 7. My youngest will be taking the 11+ very soon. We think she has a good chance of passing, but has already told us she wants to go to the same school that her sister goes to (ie not the grammar). If we put down the grammar as our first choice and she does pass the 11+, but really does not want to go, what are our options? As a sibling she will get a place at her older sister's school. Can anyone help?

If your older daughter's school is good enough (and it really does only need to be 'good enough' for a clever child to do well, it doesn't have to be perfect) and she really wants to go there, then let her. There is no future in forcing a child down a path she doesn't want to go down, and there is an awful lot to be said for siblings going to school together. This will also save you all the agonising over the 11+ and any recriminations later from your daughter. You must put the schools in your preferred order on the LEA preference form - don't put a school first unless you really want it.

[amiableg]

The reason I am so worried is that I think the grammar would be the best choice for her. I love the comp that my other daughter is at and it suits her brilliantly. At the end of the day I want my youngest to be in the right place for her too.

I don't want cake, I just want what is best for my individual child, as any caring parent would.

Thanks for all the replies.

[guest0001]

I think most parents, who really care and have the intelligence to want the best education for their children, would of course, strive to secure either a Grammar or independent school place for their child. We live in very competitive, unstable times,and we want to secure our children's future. I want the best for my child,and i will work hard in all areas of my life to help secure that.

[Guest]

This will also save you all the agonising over the 11+ and any recriminations later from your daughter.

Recriminations later can also include 'you should have made me do it'. I've seen it before.

Remember you are the adult and best suited to make decisions for your child. Yes you want a happy child but its your reponsibility to make the correct decision on her behalf even if done in a sneaky parent kind of way. I have just negotiated this quite sucessfully although it helped that we looked at the grammars a year early which gave me plenty of time to work on my sales pitch.

Whatever you decide remember nobody knows your daughter like you do and only you can make what you hope is the best decision.

It really is very stressful for us parents although I'm sure its a good time of year for the makers of biscuits and all things bad for the waist line - oh the comfort eating!!!!

Good luck whatever you decide to do

[Guest]

All LAs will be using equal preference from 2008, so you will have to decide ( if the 11+ result is not available in your area before the preference closing date)

Please expand more, what is happenging/changing for 2008?

[Road Runner]

Just a thought but why don't you speak to your other daugter and ask her what she thinks. Perhaps she could help you 'convince' your younger one to go for the Grammar place. I know that whatever happens when my youngest takes the 11+ next year I will be relying on my son(he passed in 06) to reaasure his sister whatever the outcome.

Mel x