The killer question - how do your DC answer "first choice"?

Independent Schools as an alternative to Grammar

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loveyouradvice
Posts: 160
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 1:24 pm

The killer question - how do your DC answer "first choice"?

Post by loveyouradvice »

Somewhat surprised today - at DD first interview she was asked what schools she was applying to and were they her first choice.....even though the school had told us this wasnt something they asked.

Although we had discussed it in theory, I hadnt expected quite such a blunt question......

She did tell them they were second choice......and why she liked her two first choices.....( (She was told they still made offers to second choices and to be honest by the interviewer....and said that she had tried to work out if they were being cunning or honest and then decided the latter, so decided to tell them the truth)

Further complicated by the fact that they are actually DH & my first choice! (And we dont get interviewed....)

How do your DC ACTUALLY respond???

And how important do you think it is???
shootmenow
Posts: 356
Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2012 12:25 pm

Re: The killer question - how do your DC answer "first choic

Post by shootmenow »

DD was asked this and said that she wasn't really sure as all the schools were nice so she was going to leave it up to her parents to decide. Her prep briefed them on good answers to the questions.
fairyelephant
Posts: 588
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2012 9:59 am
Location: N London

Re: The killer question - how do your DC answer "first choic

Post by fairyelephant »

Apparently a girl told city a couple of years ago that she didn't want to go there! She was still offered a place, I guess her score was so high they thought it was worth the offer.
I think it's difficult to coach them to say anything other than shootmenow's general response - except at the schools they really like of course, where their natural keenness will be obvious, which of course will be the real giveaway when they hear a general answer! aagh. Presumably they are well aware that despite a tendency in the modern world for the child to be king, it's the dps who pay the fees and will ultimately make this decision. Most of us will take our dd's wishes into account of course, but decide what is right for them with all the wisdom of a 42 year old (in my case) not sure how much that is.... :oops:
Loveyouradvice, how are you feeling on school choices ATM, I remember a post of yours a while back when you said you were favouring a slightly less academic school as you felt that would suit dd better? I really identified with that at the time. As the interviews come in from the more academic schools, are you starting to change your mind? Personally, I'm trying to hold onto my original stance, not sure of course if dd will get an offer from city/shhs anyway, but you do start to wonder..... :?
ClappedOutMum
Posts: 152
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2012 8:56 am

Re: The killer question - how do your DC answer "first choic

Post by ClappedOutMum »

yes - good topic! First time I've been through this (at a 10+) and DS simply doesn't like the second choice (we agree on the first choice, but we would be delighted with the second choice). Not sure I can prep a 9 year old much on this one .... "all schools are lovely and my DPs will decide". Like it.
delta
Posts: 47
Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:54 pm

Re: The killer question - how do your DC answer "first choic

Post by delta »

I think they just do this to get an idea of how many offers they should make in relation to how many of those offers will be accepted. I don' t think it will make any difference to whether your dc gets an offer. Don't worry!
loveyouradvice
Posts: 160
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 1:24 pm

Re: The killer question - how do your DC answer "first choic

Post by loveyouradvice »

Delta - that is reassuring and I am HOPING you are right.....

Fairyelephant, yes I am still holding to this stance - this one is a bit less academic than City and I would prefer it.....we only applied to City because she was so keen!

We know our DD - she is bright but not stellar (though may become so) - and definitely not an alpha girl! She seems to cope well with the alpha girls but I am frankly finding them a bit intimidating seeing them en masse. I definitely want her to have plenty of room for her creativity and quirkiness to develop in their own way.....

But as you say the whole thing is a journey and one school very sensibly advised us that our opinions would change as we travelled....

So I guess when we are deciding - fingers crossed of course that offers do come in! - I will be one of those mums who talks to the school about how their DD did in the exams, and where this positions her in relationship to the rest of the year and probably revisits them to talk more.... Tis a very big decision!.
Yummiemummie
Posts: 160
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 9:02 pm

Re: The killer question - how do your DC answer "first choic

Post by Yummiemummie »

I think its fine as long as your child doesn't say they actively don't want to go to the school in question. I did hear of a candidate at DSs vastly oversubscribed school who said he didn't want to go to the school and that it was his parents choice. They didn't offer a place, but the child was very clear that he didnt want to attend.
My DD was asked and said that she thought she could be happy at all the schools she had applied to and there were pros and cons with each, she listed these from her point of view. She was offered all three places. I think its ok to show you have thought about your choices.
Last edited by Yummiemummie on Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
loveyouradvice
Posts: 160
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 1:24 pm

Re: The killer question - how do your DC answer "first choic

Post by loveyouradvice »

yummie mummie - I think this is a lovely approach and very congruent with the way my DD thinks.... going to suggest she tries this at the others....
Yummiemummie
Posts: 160
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 9:02 pm

Re: The killer question - how do your DC answer "first choic

Post by Yummiemummie »

It's tough isn't it for ten year olds! Good luck.
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