Fighting at school

[stroudydad]

I'd love to hear people opinions about this subject, is it right to defend oneself with the use of physical force to defend oneself.. I welcome all views equally

[Belinda]

I understand the argument... truly, but... unless you want to risk your DC getting arrested, fingerprinted, DNA swabbed, photographed and referred to CPS - and potentially a caution or criminal record...

Yes - the kids your DC is 'defending' themselves against might know the system all too well - and decide to drag your DC down with them!
The law is clear. Your DC will need to justify 'reasonable force' - we all know of a case where a punch has been thrown, the 'victim' falls, bangs their head on the ground, dies and... - manslaughter! Prison.

[Amber]

I have a rule at home that once physical violence is used, it trumps all other bad behaviour - as in, no matter what has preceded or provoked it, s/he who dishes out the first wallop is in the wrong. In such scenarios I expect the wounded party to report to an adult - and this is reliably what has happened here if any of mine has lashed out. Unless one's life and soul is in danger (actually, even if it is - maybe especially if it is) my advice would be to leg it and report to a responsible adult every time, making a load of noise if necessary. Taking it down to first principles, would you do it yourself? With what intent? Far better to swallow pride and get the h*** out imho. No teacher enjoys sorting out the 'who started it?' nonsense and is generally likely to take a very dim view of both protagonists.

[Belinda]

I forgot to add the important bit... reasonable force given the circumstances.

One on one when you have opportunity to get away but decide to fight back and throw a punch or two... against being pinned against a wall by two people whilst being battered by a third person head on with no way of freeing yourself. A leg lashing out in this scenario causing fatal internal injuries may be deemed reasonable force given the circumstances. It is for a court of law to decide! Not us lot on a forum! Does anyone want to go there? Really?

[mystery]

Yes, and he or she who dishes out the second wallop is in the wrong too. It's quite easy in the home situation.

However, this does get a little less clear cut if a child is in the situation outside the home where a stronger child has, through physical force, got them into a situation where they can't leg it and intends to do some serious harm .... I think maybe here the screaming and yelling might work if there is someone around to hear it but, if it doesn't, how about a knee in the groin etc then leg it? Hopefully this is not the kind of situation you are alluding to.

Again if the other child is much faster and intends harm it's not necessarily a solution either.

Are you talking severe menace from a much stronger bully or worse? If this is what you are talking about, hopefully it can be dealt with now by other means rather than your child feeling they have to be prepared to make the decision about risking an attack in self-defence versus doing nothing apart from screaming and shouting.

[Amber]

My late father used to say finger in each eye and simultaneous knee into the groin usually did the job.
My karate instructor trained me in a manoeuvre which ought to mean 'game over' but I don't think I would advise my children to take such drastic action and I would only do it if I felt about to die I think.
As mystery says - what is the exact scenario here? It is too hard to generalise.

[Belinda]

Are you talking severe menace from a much stronger bully or worse?

I'm getting the impression it's a general discussion, not any particular situation although I may be wrong.

It is something that has come up before, and probably more relevant for those with teenage boys who find themselves in environments where they do have to deal with confrontation.

Many lads (and lasses) will find themselves in a confrontational situation at some stage during their teen / early adult years.

[stroudydad]

Actually this is purely hypothetical...I just wondered how people felt..

Some background though, my son was very quiet when young and suffered bullying of various forms, so we started him in a martial art, both to increase his confidence, and help him to defend himself..
He loved it and it has helped him immensley, he took his black belt grading on Sunday, as part of his preparation he was asked how he would react in certain situations, his answers surprised me, but made me very proud...

[Belinda]

http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/self_defence/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

This link is informative for those who have an interest.