How to cope with a 'fail'

Eleven Plus (11+) in Warwickshire

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Dave1879
Posts: 23
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2012 11:03 am

How to cope with a 'fail'

Post by Dave1879 »

I might be getting paranoid -see my previous post - but how do you console your dc if they fail to make the cut. I know it's a awful thing to ask but I think it probably needs to be asked. My dd has got her heart set on a GS place but what if she doesn't gain a place there? Are there any dp out there kind enough to give any advice as we've not been in this situation before.
I understand everyone's situation is different and dp know their dc best but how do you handle it if things don't go according to plan in the 11+?
Brum Mum
Posts: 604
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 6:27 pm

Re: How to cope with a 'fail'

Post by Brum Mum »

Hi Dave,

Do you have a local school nearby that is good and could be a 'fall back' position?

I can't advise on how to cope if our DC don't achieve a high enough score to secure a place (I won't use the 'F' word) - but with mine, I've said that securing a good score will offer us some more choices and that if he doesn't get a place, then X school is very good and he'll still have an excellent education there.

He seems to have accepted this for now - but time will tell if he's bought into it for real or not.

Not sure if this helps?
ginx
Posts: 2151
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:47 pm
Location: Warwickshire

Re: How to cope with a 'fail'

Post by ginx »

I'm sure your dd knows there is stiff competition to get into a gs, not everyone who sits the 11+ gets a place. Some really bright dc just have a bad day and don't get a place. I'd make sure she knows that, and that dc who go to other schools can do just as well as those in a gs.

I don't know what your alternative school is, but I would discuss all the good points about that - is it nearer? Would she know dc going there, or already there, or any teachers, or ex pupils? It must have some good points - is it particularly good for sports, or drama, or something? Find some good points to mention now before results are out or schools allocated.

Sorry if that's not much help. What will be will be ... but good luck!
Fatnorville
Posts: 302
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:09 pm

Re: How to cope with a 'fail'

Post by Fatnorville »

I have not been there, but am preparing myself in case I need to be there this year.

As adults we know that the 11+ system is not fair, particularly as some children have been tutored or attended schools which provide tutoring. We also know that the system is not fair, and is dependent on performance on the day. We also know it does not measure performance in sports or in the arts. Unfortunately I don't think that my DS will understand this, at least not immediately after the results are posted.

As well as the sound advice above, I am planning to focus on:-
- Only a minority of his friends will go to GS. Focus on the qualities or the friendship of his cohorts who aren't going to GS.
- Passing the 11+ is the start of the journey, not the end of the journey, and the real hard work starts here. Emphasise the amount of homework at GS may mean that out of school clubs may need to be cancelled as home work must be a priority.
Tinkus-Pinkus
Posts: 143
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:22 pm

Re: How to cope with a 'fail'

Post by Tinkus-Pinkus »

I am not sure if this link will take you there but there is a link on Damage Limitation in general 11 plus http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/ ... =5&t=33380" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Okanagan
Posts: 1706
Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2011 9:20 pm
Location: Warwickshire

Re: How to cope with a 'fail'

Post by Okanagan »

Definitely talk up the positives of the alternative in advance so that it doesn't seem like you're only saying them after the event.
Is it nearer? Friends there? Less travelling time? No need to rely on buses/trains - therefore after school activities easier/more opportunities? Better facilities?
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