Anyone else not sleeping?

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awesomedad
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Sep 13, 2013 2:25 pm

Anyone else not sleeping?

Post by awesomedad »

Will they, won't they....Can't think of anything I've ever fretted about so much as this and this is the second time I've been through it. This is bonkers. Any helpful suggestions would be appreciated. :?
Tinkus-Pinkus
Posts: 143
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:22 pm

Re: Anyone else not sleeping?

Post by Tinkus-Pinkus »

I was not sleeping either and yes it is bonkers, in the scheme of things, I know full well that my DD will do well at whichever School she goes to because she is a focused and hard working girl. But the results are so much better at the GS and their expectations are so much higher and that makes such a difference. So it doesn't matter how much I tell myself that the comp is great, or how much I tell her neither of us really believe it. I would highly recommend Californian poppy tincture. It really helps with sleep 30 drops and I sleep like a baby for 8 hours. Some lucid dreams but brilliant stuff for occasional bouts of insomnia. And no it is not the same as the other sort of poppy! No hangovers unlike some of the other herbal preparations that you can buy in the chemist. Or wild lettuce extract is good too (not quite as). If you are finding it hard to relax your muscles then chelated magnesium and calcium is great, we all have a magnesium inbalance because of modern farming methods (not enough in the soil). I did start a thread on dreams but no one else seems to have picked up on this one, so I think I must be on my own there.
All the very best to you and your DC.
2Girlsmum
Posts: 1034
Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2010 11:41 pm

Re: Anyone else not sleeping?

Post by 2Girlsmum »

Thenkq you for the tincture suggestion. I'll get some today because I've been staying up late unable to relax Last night I dreamt that I had the letter but couldn't open it until the 15th. Dd has asked ti be there when it's opened so outside school on the 15th is our coming experience. I have a SAD lamp and dreamt that I tried pressing the letter against that to see her rank but couldn't....and I think that it's worse near the time with a second because she'll feel her sister did better than her as well as not getting the place:/
Rob Clark
Posts: 1298
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:59 pm

Re: Anyone else not sleeping?

Post by Rob Clark »

their expectations are so much higher
Do you have direct evidence of this please? We have one DC at a Bucks GS and one DC at an upper school, and this certainly hasn't been our experience. Of course the GSs results overall are better – as they jolly well should be since they cream off the 'top' 30% of pupils – but I wouldn't agree that expectations are so much higher. The top sets at the upper school are expected to get good grades, and do so.
Tinkus-Pinkus
Posts: 143
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:22 pm

Re: Anyone else not sleeping?

Post by Tinkus-Pinkus »

Rob Clark wrote:
their expectations are so much higher
Do you have direct evidence of this please? We have one DC at a Bucks GS and one DC at an upper school, and this certainly hasn't been our experience. Of course the GSs results overall are better – as they jolly well should be since they cream off the 'top' 30% of pupils – but I wouldn't agree that expectations are so much higher. The top sets at the upper school are expected to get good grades, and do so.
Yes, I do. I have a friend whose daughter is at the comp. She is on the gifted and talented register and absolutely top if the class in all subjects, very talented in maths. She want to be an actress, so was told by her tutor, that there is not much point in pushing herself so hard because an A in her maths GCSE is not going to do her much good as an actress. She is consistently pulled back rather than pushed to achieve her best, and is capable of so much more but the opportunities just aren't there. We all compare ourselves with our peers and if the peers are only interested in make-up, boys and becoming a pop star then that is what our DC's will want to become. Follow the crowd and all that.
I have looked at the GCSE results for the comp and whilst at the GS 75% of students achieve A and A* for core subjects! the numbers of A's at the comp is very low. This is a comp we are talking about, so no creaming off of the brighter children.
Amber
Posts: 8058
Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:59 am

Re: Anyone else not sleeping?

Post by Amber »

If a child with such an array of spectacular talents across the curriculum aspires to nothing greater than a career as an actress, I would suggest that the parents must share at least a small amount of the blame you have heaped on the school.
Dande
Posts: 58
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 11:21 am

Re: Anyone else not sleeping?

Post by Dande »

Amber wrote:If a child with such an array of spectacular talents across the curriculum aspires to nothing greater than a career as an actress, I would suggest that the parents must share at least a small amount of the blame you have heaped on the school.
There are some actors that are well educated. Surely the fact that she is in the top sets, and achieving at the comp would lead you to believe that she has the support of her parents.

I hate hearing stories like this. It's what I fear most about my DC being deemed non selective and then not being pushed to reach their full potential - regardless of what their future ambitions are.
Tinkus-Pinkus
Posts: 143
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:22 pm

Re: Anyone else not sleeping?n

Post by Tinkus-Pinkus »

Dande wrote:
Amber wrote:If a child with such an array of spectacular talents across the curriculum aspires to nothing greater than a career as an actress, I would suggest that the parents must share at least a small amount of the blame you have heaped on the school.
There are some actors that are well educated. Surely the fact that she is in the top sets, and achieving at the comp would lead you to believe that she has the support of her parents.

I hate hearing stories like this. It's what I fear most about my DC being deemed non selective and then not being pushed to reach their full potential - regardless of what their future ambitions are.
This is my fear too. The comp, does not stream for maths and English until year 9 and my DD is working at least a year ahead in maths and 2 years ahead in English. It would only take that long being held back by children who are working a year below themselves, which is the case I know with many, for her to become very frustrated. When we looked at the comp, her main comments were around how easy the work looked for the year 7 and 8's. If children are not able to work to their potential they become bored and disaffected. It is difficult enough in the small primary class of 20 children that she is in. She is constantly asking the teacher for harder work, which is not given until the teacher has checked that she is clear on what she has been given, and there is just not enough time for the teacher to check work. So in my DD's class the brighter children are held back. Her teacher said the other day, that she is not going to put any children in the class forward for levels 6 SATs because it is not fair on the ones that can't achieve them as they feel as though they are not good enough. What about the ones who are good enough and how they feel at being held back? I am pushing on this one.
southbucks3
Posts: 3579
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:59 am

Re: Anyone else not sleeping?

Post by southbucks3 »

Just to reassure those who will have children at upper schools, the top stream at our local upper school are pushed and encouraged, they also get entered for the world maths challenge. Obviously the schools are more restricted in what resources they can pour on their top stream, as they have a whole spectrum of ability to cater for, however gcse's are not the be all and end all. My friends son has been entered for a national design award, with his dt work, and his ability in that field will certainly guarantee him a secure and affluent future.
Perhaps the teacher felt the child actress was being allowed to commit too much time to auditions etc
Percentage As etc cannot be compared between uppers and grammars, but if you were to compare upper fast track/top groups percentage results, with the grammars it may paint a different picture, and most demand 7 b's or higher to enter the sixth form.
So please do not panic...it is not all doom and gloom, obviously we all desperately warn our kids to enter gs, and be surrounded by highly intelligent kids and do lots of languages, separate sciences etc, but they can and will achieve great results at uppers.
Rob Clark
Posts: 1298
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:59 pm

Re: Anyone else not sleeping?

Post by Rob Clark »

Just to reassure those who will have children at upper schools, the top stream at our local upper school are pushed and encouraged
Ditto. In the part of Bucks where I live there aren't any Comprehensives, but interestingly the GS doesn't set for the first 2 years whereas the upper school does. The top sets at the upper school are most definitely pushed and encouraged – for example, extra classes were laid on for those who wanted to ensure they had covered the A* topics in GCSE maths. Those who got As or better in Y10 do further maths in Y11. The opportunities are there for those who want to take them, though admittedly they might have to show a little more initiative and self-motivation than is necessary at a GS.
We all compare ourselves with our peers and if the peers are only interested in make-up, boys and becoming a pop star then that is what our DC's will want to become. Follow the crowd and all that.
Anyone who thinks this only happens at an upper school or a Comprehensive is, I fear, going to be in for a rude awakening. Following the crowd happens just as much at GSs as it does at any other school. Better to show a child ways of dealing with this than try to avoid the issue.
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